MADE FOR YOU
©Dora Achieng’ Okeyo
Smashwords Edition 2012
I want him back. I know that he left because he had to. I know he left when it was time. I know that I am stupid because of this. I cannot live a lie. I want him back. I want things to continue from where we left them. His name is Luke, mine’s May.
“It has been two years May, get over it!” That’s the voice I hear every day. It belongs to Alice. Alice is the only one who saw me cry over Luke. She is the one who warned me about him. She is the only one who knows of what happened. “How?” I often ask when she tells me to move on.
“You can write a whole book for Chrissake! Can’t you just forget one man?”
“He is alive Alice. I will find him that much I can promise you.”
“Just shut up May, and get out of your slumber and get a job!” She gets on my nerves at times. She is my friend, her honesty keeps me alive. Every time we meet this is what happens. She tells me I need to let go. I tell her I need to hang in there. She always reminds me that it has been two years. Between the two of us, Alice is the better writer. She is the one who’s gotten published. I love her stories and books more than anyone else. She never lets it get to her. I write various things. I write about shoes, clothes, food and at times even pets. We share lots of things in common with Alice-amongst them our love for beverages. She loves coffee while I enjoy chocolate. I walk into the kitchen to make breakfast. I pull out the bucket and start scrubbing the kitchen floor which needs a shine. I sing along to ‘Breathing’ by LifeHouse. I scrub the floor till my back and fingers call for a time out. I clean the floor and then rinse the bucket in the washroom. In a moment of love, the floor calls out to me. I lie there, my left hear on the cold tile, my feet coiled. My eyes see one person. He walks up to me and says ‘hey stranger.’ I smile and reply ‘hey you.’ His eyes are brown. He is six feet tall and fair skinned. He smiles back at me. Pain dwells in his eyes. The kind of pain that makes the heart writhe, the soul hopeless, and devours beauty. I think of him. I do what I can- I cry. I cry softly at first, and then I let out the pain. I am brought back to reality by the alarm. I get up and switch it off, but skid on my tears later. As my buttocks hit the floor, his laughter fills the air. I need to meet Alice. She got me a job as a columnist for a Church magazine. She wants me to write about love and relationships. They pay well. I could survive on that amount. She told me she wanted me to meet the Pastor. I accepted the offer because I need to pay my bills. I cannot live off my parents after getting a degree. She knows very well that I love to help. She is using that against me. I wear my grey official dress and drink to a beautiful day. I leave the room ten minutes later. I need to get a loaf of bread. Some of the girls here are staggering back from a night out. Their heads bobble as they struggle to get to their rooms. Some of the guys have their trousers on their knees as they curse at the sun. I walk nimbly past them at the stairs. I stay here because it is cheap. I need someplace cheap to make ends meet. I am glad that research job secured me rent for three months.