Cats, Dogs, Ninjas and Fire-Hydrants.
Twitter-Sized Jokes, Oneliners, Punchlines and Observations.
With a Foreword by a Random Dude who wanted $10 for it but settled on $5 and a Taco.
By Oleg Medvedkov
Copyright 2012 Oleg Medvedkov
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So, like, a person approached me and asked me to write a Foreword for a book. I was totally like No! at first. Than it turned out it's a paying gig. Being an Author is how I see myself and from what I hear, those dudes get paid. Which would be cool since I am tired of bumming change for a cup of java that one needs to buy in order to use the electrical outlet in my local caffeine hole. To plug the laptop in. Makes no sense, doesn't it? Those greedy corporate oppressors should be paying me instead, for writing my future bestselling novel on their premises.
Back to the gig. I didn't want to appear greedy but I do not work for cheap. I figured ten backs is a proper payment for a couple of paragraphs of my beautiful prose and by all that is Holy I was going to get it.
I didn't. My newfound employer drove a hard bargain, counting things on fingers, explaining to me how Keynesian economics works (like I needed to be explained something so obvious), hitting table with a fist and offering me five dollars. At some point I realized that it was just a negotiation tactic so I negotiated back. We settled on five dollars and a taco for my writing expertise. I did manage to put in a clause that the taco should be fresh, which took some doing but I was like - "Take it or leave it, man," and so we agreed.