This book is true to the letter of my heart, a true account, as in true as truth can be given the vagaries of the mind (especially one at times severely “under the influence”) and the beclouded nature of memory drunk on time. Names have been changed to protect privacy, and one person (character) is an amalgam of two from “real life.” This was intended to cut down on confusion and enhance the clarity of the story without compromising its overall integrity.


for Magpie and Serena


And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”

He chortled in his joy.

—Lewis Carroll,

from “Jabberwocky”

I cannot tell what I am, because words can describe only what I am not.

—Nisargadatta Maharaj



Prologue Sunday Bloody Sunday

Chapter 1 The Clock Tower

Chapter 2 Das Hell Frau

Chapter 3 Aggravated F-ing Meatheads

Chapter 4 Crystal Street

Chapter 5 Coming of Age in the Derelict Den

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