All you see on TV is that someone gets angry and that it's OK to violently express
that anger...and then everyone laughs.
In real life, it's pretty easy to recognize when someone we know at work or school,
or even just an acquaintance, has a problem with anger. They yell a lot, they
throw things, they stomp their feet, they call you names and say terrible things to
you, they behave irrationally, sometimes even putting themselves or someone else
Unlike TV, though, the things they say to you are not funny. They're often very
hurtful, things that they would never consider saying if they weren't so angry.
Things that they apologize for later, but that can never be taken back or forgotten.
Their actions aren't funny, either. Breaking plates and destroying property shows
a lack of respect, not an appreciation of comedy. In fact, a lot of times, their
actions are threatening. Imagine what that toddler in the doorway must really feel. I doubt she's laughing at all the fun mommy and daddy are having. More
likely, she's frightened, which means she feels threatened.
We see these angry people every day and we tend to shy away from them.
There's no telling what will set them off and we certainly don't want to be around
the next time their violent temper erupts. But what if these angry people are
right in your house? What if you can't get away from them? Worse yet, what if
the angry person is YOU and you just don't realize it? What if YOU are the reason
your entire household is always so upset and everyone you love is angry
Too often we look for scapegoats, we look to others to blame for our bad choices
because it’s difficult to accept that we ourselves may be the problem. The way I
look at it, when the same issues continue to arise, when you often find yourself at
the center of turmoil in your personal and professional life and you always arrive
at the same outcome, for example your co-workers keep their distance from you