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The heart is always true. It tells you what it wants and expects you to do it. At times the heart-lets you choose your mind over it. It lets you feel secure in your thoughts, then it bogs you down. It was one guy that I met. In life and love there’s always one person-just one, who takes hold of your heart and never leaves it. His love is like a scar, ugly but visible. His words like the wind-breezing through, but they leave you with goose bumps. His touch is like the sun, scorching but far away. His presence- a constant reminder of who you were then, who he made you and who you’d never want to be again. He’s here, and that’s why this is from the heart.
My name is Florence, but my friends call me Flo. You can call me Flo too. His name, Jackson- but I used to call him ‘J’. Well, it never gets old, does it? Have you ever loved a man and let him walk all over you? Have you ever loved someone to the extent of being called ‘mad?’ Maybe I was, but right now- someone has to grip me so hard to prevent me from falling to pieces. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I also keep my thoughts to myself. How do you kill a man? What is the one thing you can do to destroy a man completely? My Mother used to tell me it was failure. Look at the successful men-failure is their motivation, so she was wrong. Failure killed my Father. It was his failure to accept that he was weak. It was his failure to see the bright side of life that destroyed him. Mother thrived after he kissed the ground. She became more successful as he stayed six feet under. She refused to be a failure like him. How do you really kill a man? You bring him to his knees. I never believed any of it, but right now I am on my knees and Jackson has no clue. He sees my tears, but not my pain. He has to clue, and I want to bring him to his knees. Four years with the same guy and he decides to leave, not because he cares, but because he has to. Now my friends comfort me but laugh behind my back. They say I loved him too much. A man has to work hard to get a woman. He has to work harder to keep her. He works the hardest to get her back. I have been through all three stages with J. I loved the first two stages. He was sweet and patient. when Delila came between us, he faltered and got right up. ‘Give me a second chance, to make things right,’ he pleaded. I gave him the chance and he proved me wrong. It was Nancy, then Grace, and the one that killed me was Rose. Rose is the girl whose umbilical cord was cut before me. She has grace, love and is full of understanding. So, when I look at her all I can ask is why? In history men have married sisters and it’s been beautiful right? But this is not history. My life has history so I want the present not the past. I want my life to be known in the now, not the then. I look at Rose and shatter to pieces. Was it her betrayal of his that I cannot forgive?