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Short and Stupid - Dark Humor Stories for a Rainy Day!

Author’s note: These short-shorts all have a dark humor running through them that I only noticed when I saw them all together. Some have a bit of heart underneath it all, and anyway life doesn’t really suck as bad as they suggest. Usually. In any case they happened to someone else, not you.

--Paul Hawkins, July 2015. Please like my author’s page if you like these stories!

Smashwords Edition, copyright 2015, Paul Hawkins

Smashwords Edition, License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Chapter 1: Aladdin’s Genie

He came to my yard sale and offered to pay for an old-timey toaster with $5 worth of nickels. He carried then around in a sock. I was asking $7 for it, but once I saw he was going to pay all in nickels, I agreed on $5.

He said he was Aladdin’s genie and what he was really looking for was his lamp. He had been freed from it many many years ago but life on the outside wasn't so great.

I felt sorry for the guy - he looked rough - not sick or anything, just kind of beaten down. He said sure, the lamp had confined him to a life of servitude when he was living inside it, but he was confined to a life of servitude anyway now that he was outside it, but now he couldn't do magic or anything and his last three marriages hadn't worked out and he was tired of flipping burgers.

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