Drug to Make You Grow a Dick

By Pen Penguin

Copyright 2012 Pen Penguin

Smashwords Edition


My boyfriend, Matt and I had just moved to a new city. We were taking our time exploring, when we stumbled upon a back-alley apothecary. It seemed kind of shady to me, so of course Matt decides we need to check it out.

"Where's your sense of adventure, Lisa?"

Or so he said in response to my protests. As we entered the shop, a musky atmosphere enveloped my senses. There wasn't anyone else inside, as far as I could tell. It soon became clear that this wasn't a regular drug store. We passed by shelf after shelf of bizarre concoctions. Hair growth tonics, height increasing pills, candy that'll make you sneeze uncontrollably, the list of strange potions went on and on. I wondered if we were going to find some shrunken voodoo heads next.

"Hey Matt, are you sure we should be here? This place is really weird. I bet half of these so-called love potions don't even work."

"I take offense to that, young lady."

I whirled around. Right behind us was a woman. Or was it a man? Where had she... or he come from? The person was dressed in a discreet robe, with androgynous features and black hair that would've been long for a guy, but short for a girl. Assuming it was a guy, he spread his arms in a majestic manner that might've seemed welcoming, but only really served to hammer in my suspicions about this place.

"Welcome to my humble shop! What might you be looking for?"

"Oh sorry, we're just browsing."

I mumbled, feigning indifference to try and get him to leave us alone.

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