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She-Male Love

By Pen Penguin

Copyright 2012 Pen Penguin

Smashwords Edition

~

"Carol, I'm gay."

Those were the words my husband, Jeff said to me, moments before I ran out the door, tears spilling down my cheeks. I'm glossing a bit over his explanations and excuses about how I was a wonderful woman, but he didn't like me sexually and things like that. Frankly, it didn't really matter what he said. At the end of the day, my husband's gay, and can't stay with me.

To be honest, I had already known he was gay. Contrary to popular belief, there's very little about a man's mannerisms that'll confirm homosexuality. Nonsense about how nicely he dresses, how meticulous he is with cleanliness, how effeminate he acts. None of that really proves anything about whether he likes men or not. Jeff didn't dress all that well, he was a bit of a slob, and he definitely wasn't effeminate. The only way I had been able to tell, was our lukewarm attempts to have sex that never got anywhere and left us both frustrated.

But despite our sexual incompatibility, I still loved him. He was charming, nice and thoughtful. He was there for me whenever I had a bad day, and he always made time for me, even if it meant not working as many hours at his job. It must've taken a lot of courage to admit that we weren't meant for each other, so I can't be mad at him. In fact, I was kind of glad that he was the one to end it. Even with all the clues, I personally still couldn't help but cling to our hopeless, one-sided relation.

I had already rationalized everything in my mind. The only thing left now was to cry my heart out, get over it, and find someone else. I didn't want to think about this so mechanically, but I knew that if I didn't, I'll wallow in self-despair longer than I really should. At the very least, I needed something to help me forget about him. Maybe a girl's night out. A bit of hard karaoke definitely sounded pretty good right now.

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