Tentacle Monsters are from Mars, Women are from Venus
by Jessie Jordan
Copyright 2012 Jessie Jordan
“Hello Dave, you are on the air.”
“Hi Dr Dee, this is Dave, long time listener, first time caller.”
“How can I help you Dave?”
As far as Dave is concerned my name is Dr Dee. The Dee is really Diane, but at least the doctor part is real. I have a doctorate in psychology from Yale. My parents were so proud. Now that I’m the world’s most famous sex therapist, not so much. Never mind the fact that my ridiculous salary paid for their Florida mansion. If you live in a major city you’ve probably seen me on a billboard or two. That leggy brunette wearing a lab coat and not much else seductively chewing on a pencil? Yup, that’s me.
“It’s this Hydrapod thing. Have you heard of them?”
I had. In fact I was getting more and more calls about the elusive Hydrapod. It was starting to get a bit annoying. I do my best to give people good advice. I like to think I’m helping the lost souls who phone phone me in need. But I hadn’t even seen one of those things. It was hard to give good advice when you had no idea what you were up against.
“I sure have Dave.”
“Well ever since my wife got one she’s just not interested in me anymore. We haven’t BLEEPED in weeks.” My producer Mitch was king of the bleep button.