Pride and Platypus:

Mr. Darcy’s Dreadful Secret

“A sufficiently pleasing literary trifle. Only, might one be kind enough to explain why a certain gentleman constantly finds himself in wet shirtsleeves for no apparent reason?”

A Gentleman of Impeccable Attire

“I require an introduction to this Mr. Darcy, in all haste. Does the gentleman possess a male unattached sibling? Preferably, with a proper beastly Affliction, in place of what the gentleman himself suffers?”

A Lady of Elegance

“An outrage indeed! My own person and relations, to be thus referenced in this vile compendium of vulgarity! Why, this is not to be borne! Also, I recommend emu oil for polishing wooden surfaces.”

A Certain Lady of Rosings

“I would have it known that, in my present condition, I am not altogether concerned with pollution.”

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