BADASS JONES FOUL MOUTHED ZOMBIE HUNTER.
By Thom Bruning
Published by Thom Bruning at Smashwords
Copyright 2012 Thom Bruning
Cover art Copyright 2012 Cole Carter
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Don’t get me wrong mutha fucka, I’ll pay my taxes. It ain’t about me not wantin to pay my taxes. It’s just last time I went down to the tax office is when all this shit kicked off. Now we gonna have to go back bout two years for this one. Now ol Badass Jones had a life before he became a head smashin, door kickin, zombie killin mutha fucka. Yep, sure did. I had several lucrative forms of money makin shit, all goin on at the same time. I was one of them life coaches. You know, a mutha fucka would call me up and say, “Hey Badass Jones. I feel like shit bout myself. My job sucks, and I ain’t gettin no lovin. What should I do?” I would ask, “What do you wanna do mutha fucka?” And most times, deep down inside, a mutha fucka knows what they should be doin. They just can’t see it right at first, and I was there to dig around and pull that shit out of them and push them in the right direction. I run a daycare for a little while but that shit went south. Guess mutha fucka's didn’t like my way of child rearin.
Back to the shit I was tryin to say. Bout two years ago, I’d been hearin on the television news bout how mutha fucka’s was goin crazy. Started out one or two a week. Next thing ya know, all kinds a mutha fucka’s was losin it. Mutha fucka’s would start out lookin like they had the flu or somethin - then go all bat shit crazy and start bitin whoever got close. Then those fucka’s that got bit would start doin the same shit. Before long it was one big giant zombie mutha fuckin bite fest. Everybody bitin everybody, just like in them movies.