“DID YOU SAY YOU WERE DEAD?”
A ONE ACT, Four Scene Comedy
By Neal Donohue
Arthur Timber discovers Social Security has declared him deceased, and he can no longer receive benefits. His doctor refuses to correct the mistake because of requirements demanding information on other patients. So, Arthur remains legally deceased.
He attempts to explain this to his wife but she panics, believing he really is dying. Both visit her mother, an Albanian immigrant, couldn’t care less. Frustrated Arthur leaves for the tavern where his best friend, Sid, tries to understand, but to no avail. Exhausted by Arthur's lunacy, he walks out. Left in total despair, alone in the tavern, Arthur strikes up a conversation with the bartender, a mysterious fellow who explains to Arthur how lucky he is, because he too is dead and happy about it.