Getting drunk very quickly, downing glass after glass,
Waiting for the first person to fall flat on their ass
But up in the air something strange was at bay
And it wasn’t old Santa; He’d been kidnapped away
By a team of nasty aliens, who wanted to teach
those earthlings a lesson and now they were in reach
So as the clocks ticked to midnight, the drunks started to cheer
Those almighty aliens, remotely, cancelled the beer.
Any alcohol at all simply disappeared
The men were right pissed off. This was damn weird.
The saucers came down and the aliens got out
Seems strange now, you know, but they all had bad gout.
That’s why they invaded, for some foot cream, you see,
Cos up on their planet there was no factory.
The chief alien decided it was time for some speech