Death’s Final Love Note
Published by: A. D. Randall at Smashwords
Copyright © 2012 by A.D. Randall
I was standing in the middle of a grassy meadow, the long emerald strands swayed to a soft summer breeze that played its own lullaby. A tall, green house loomed in front of me. The house dared me to enter; its vastness taunted its importance. The green structure screamed ‘leave me alone’ or ‘do not enter’ with its darkened windows. I needed to be in there, in my soul I had a longing to be inside. I felt as if I wasn’t worthy enough to stand outside of the gigantic emerald palace. My feet carried me to the house without me noticing; soon my neck was craned looking up at the house where moments ago I wasn’t even near it, this must have been my destiny, so I let my guard down and raised my right foot to step on the immaculately clean porch—
I woke up with a start, my brain clearing from the bizarre dream I had about a green house. I kept as still as possible, for the dream had left me sweating and scared. I listened to my heart beat unevenly while I dared not move a muscle. The words, “If I were to die young…” floated into my room from a radio that was playing somewhere down the hall. I tried to even out my ragged breathing, I looked outside my window, evening seemed to be creeping and dusk was taking over the day, but the birds were still chirping and could be heard through the double paned window. My hospital bed crinkled under my weight when I moved, the bed was uncomfortable and my butt was sore for having been sitting for so long. The words of the song hit me hard, if I die young…here I was 17 years old and I was dying. The doctors and nurses hadn’t said anything yet, but I could see the truth written in their eyes. I tried to laugh as the song went on saying where to bury her and how to, “sink her in a river”. Strangely, the song sounded a lot like my life, or what was going to happen. I had never thought about how I wanted to die or where I wanted to be buried. I wanted to be a teenager that didn’t have a care in the world, but as luck would have it that was some other teenager’s life. This was mine; I had stage four liver cancer. My liver wasn’t working as it should and there wasn’t much hope for me, I was dying. The doctor and I knew I was knee deep in my grave.