CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD
God, as I flip my eyes open this morning, nothing seems to change about what I feel. My headache is constant, and I feel the pain increases each day that passes by. Accompanied by dizzy spells now, I can’t even manage to stand on my own. My doctor diagnosed that my cancer got even worst now.
People around me do not believe in miracles, they keep telling me “there’s no use in praying,” but still, I bow my head so I can say “thank You for just one more day.”
God, I believe that every single day You give me is indeed a miracle, given the situation that I have.
With every weakness that I felt, I feel strong with every strength that You give me, knowing that You let me have him in my life, for better or for worst. For the past four happy years that we’re together, I am willing to endure any kind of pain that I feel, to have just one more day with him. Just one more day to be with him when I wake up, just one more day to feel his hand locked in mine, and just one more day to look at his teary eyes filled with tears of hope that today is not yet goodbye.
I don’t know and I can’t think of anyone who would love me as much as he did, knowing that he loves me with the biggest and kindest heart in the world and with every little thing that he has.
God, as I flip my eyes open today, nothing seems to change about the loss and emptiness that I feel. It has been three weeks since the doctor’s diagnosis. Her headache is constant, and the pain increases each day that passes by. Every pain she felt is accompanied by tears, each teardrop shattered my heart. Nothing and no one can prepare for death’s knock on the door. Through all the prayers and tears we made, she still passed in pain anyway.