THE LAST BLIND DATE
Smashwords edition 2013
“I’m off dating,” I said to my best friend when she showed up at my door with a hopeful look on her face and another phone number clutched in her hot little hand. “After that last creep, I’m staying home. The men can come and find me.”
“Then it’ll be Jack the mailman, who’s 70 if he’s a day, or that meter reader with B.O. and terminal halitosis.” Judy declared. She searched my closet, shuffling through the hangers with the expertise of a casino card dealer. “Where’s that sexy black dress that makes you look like a million bucks?”
“Jude. I’m not going. Besides, I burned my black dress after the last blind date you sent me on.”
“Oh, come on, he wasn’t that bad! And this one is it, I can feel it in my bones.”
As if she hadn’t said that about the last ten guys she’d sicced on me. There was more rattling as she moved deeper into the closet.
“Whaddya mean, ‘wasn’t that bad’,” I said, trying futilely to restore order as Hurricane Judy bulldozed through my clothes. “My dress had drool stains on it. That’s where it is - at the cleaner’s.” I crossed my fingers and prayed this was true. No way was I going out with any more of Judy’s “sure things”.