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The Autistic Man

Published by Eric Goldin at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Eric Goldin


Mher was literally and metaphorically an imbecile who, in the eyes of many people, should’ve been confined in a sponge-room for the psychologically insane. The outfit he wore was revolting. Covering his torso was a shirt featuring a picture of Ronald Reagan looking triumphant. There was a huge slogan on top: Republicans Rule! It had multiple stains and was faded and ripped and torn, but nevertheless Mher cherished it. Covering the lower half of his body were some unsightly army pants. The pants were so ugly that, depending on your point-of-view, it might’ve been better if he just walked around in his underwear. His hair was not combed, and overall, he was not groomed. A pungent smell of sweaty socks radiated from his body.

Mher walked into City Hall, with the intention of receiving his monthly social security cheque. As part of his mental condition, he would do things which would make people notice his presence.

“I am the ARMENIAN-AMERICAN AUTISTIC MAN!”

“Yes! Enough already! Please settle down, Mher. I suppose you came here for your money, correct?”

“Money,” Mher began, “is not as simple as you make it out to be. When you say ‘I suppose you’re here for your money,’ what exactly do you mean? Money can consist of pennies or nickels or dimes or quarters or fifty cent pieces, or it can consist of one dollar bills or two dollar bills or five dollar bills or ten dollar bills or twenty dollar bills or fifty dollar bills or hundred dollar bills or five-hundred dollar bills--”

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