Out of Darkness
The Journey to Hope
Bruce Van Dusen
©Copyright 2010 Bruce Van Dusen
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this eBook may be reproduced or shared by any electronic or mechanical means, including but not limited to printing, file sharing, and email, without prior written permission from Fideli Publishing.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
I’m thinking about suicide, again. I haven’t slept indoors in weeks. I know I haven’t eaten much of anything for a couple of days. I’ve had the same pants on for more than two weeks, and I haven’t shaved or bathed in well over a week.
I’m hallucinating, again. I keep seeing this Board of Directors, led by God, that keep saying I’m not worthy of help. They seem to want to keep me down in this awful mess I’m in now.
I don’t see anything to cause me to hope. Everything I try doesn’t seem to have any effect on my condition. What is my condition?
The doctors have told me for years I have mental illness. I have schizophrenia and alcoholism. I’ve been taking some pills I received when I stumbled into the San Francisco General Hospital a couple of days ago. Or, was it today? I don’t know. I can’t seem to keep track of time.