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Don't be a cunt about it.
Once upon a goddamn time lived a queen. Fairest to ever live. Beautiful as the hand picked mornings and as graceful as the calm lake she gazed upon. The people of the kingdom loved her. She died of syphilis. Across the lake lived another queen sitting in the balcony of her castle. She had just as much grace and beauty. Though it was wasted, for she would do nothing but sit on her throne in the balcony. She rarely got up to eat, let alone set a foot outside the castle. She would sit there daydreaming of another life. One filled with adventure and romance. The queen did not disturb anyone, nonetheless the servants became cynical. Tales in the kitchen grew as they prepared her lunch.