Five Weeks Into Faith
Cover Design Kessick Blech
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Called to Write
One evening in 1995 my phone rang. I was sitting on my sofa in my one room apartment after having taken my portfolio for National Boards to the post office and sending it off for scoring. That box represented the last 7 months of my life. Day and night I had lived the thing preparing it lovingly and hoping that it would be good enough to help earn me National Certification. This night should have been a moment of celebration, relief at finishing something so big, but as I spoke to my friend that night I didn’t feel any of that. I couldn’t celebrate, I couldn’t even move. I seemed to be paralyzed. A million thoughts raced through my head but I couldn’t act on anything. Something was terribly wrong. Looking back now I can see that this moment was the one in which I became aware of my condition but the symptoms had been there for a very long time. Focusing on National Boards had just given me a diversion for a while and now with nothing left to hold them at bay I was awash in a flood of emotions so overwhelming it held me immobile.