A Fish tale
By Matt Sorensen
Copyright 2010 Matt Sorensen
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Y’hear about the time I caught them record breakin’ salmon? Man, they was whoppers! Must have been 20 pounds if they was a ounce! Y’know the ones I’m talkin’ about -- the two 30 pound Kings that was lyin’ in the freezer all last winter? Liked to show ‘em off now an’ then to folks as was interested. Fact is, I’d show them even if they wasn’t interested! Well, to tell it truly, I didn’t actually catch them salmon. They just kinda come to me, so to speak. Let me tell how they happened into my possession.
We was fishin’ on the Columbia River, Bubba and me. Bubba, that’s my brother-in-law. Now Bubba, he’s kinda braggish like, y’know? Keeps enlargin’ the size o’ the fish each time in the tellin’. Fer instance, there was this time we was huntin’ together up by Rattlesnake Gulch and this bitty 2 point buck deer come jumpin’ right outa the bush at us. Now that I recall, it weren’t no deer at all. It were more a large jack rabbit. We both shot it and we nailed it cold. That is, one of us did. Dropped stone dead right at our feet, he did!. Funny thing is, on close inspection we could only find one bullet hole. Clean through the heart, it were. Of course we both claimed the hit but Bubba, him bein’ bigger and meaner, won the argument. Besides, there weren’t enough meat on its scrawny bones to make a meal fer a midget so I told Bubba he was welcome to it.