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When I Grow Up

i Want to Be a Sturgeon

And other wrong things kids write

By Gini Graham Scott

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011 Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.


Kids often make hilarious mistakes when they get it down on paper. This book features a range of such bloopers from assignments and tests collected from elementary to high school teachers around the United States and other countries. Mistakes range from misusing words to misquoting quotes, with humorous results. I was inspired to compile the book after working as a part- time teacher and hearing educators mention some of the funny written materials turned in by their students.

Among the most common mistakes are spelling errors that result in turning one word into another: The Greeks wanted women only for breading purposes." Another common error is substituting a more familiar word for another, as in these resolutions: "I need to increase my self-steam," "I will try to curve my bad habits." Sometimes words are invented on the spot, as in the case of a student who argued that others were experiencing "confusement" about a topic.

Sometimes the results of guess-and-go writing are both worrisome and endearing, as one third grader wrote to his teacher: "Dear Ms.___, Youo ar da best teecher I evere head."

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