When I Grow Up
i Want to Be a Sturgeon
And other wrong things kids write
By Gini Graham Scott
Copyright 2011 Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D.
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Kids often make hilarious mistakes when they get it down on paper. This book features a range of such bloopers from assignments and tests collected from elementary to high school teachers around the United States and other countries. Mistakes range from misusing words to misquoting quotes, with humorous results. I was inspired to compile the book after working as a part- time teacher and hearing educators mention some of the funny written materials turned in by their students.
Among the most common mistakes are spelling errors that result in turning one word into another: The Greeks wanted women only for breading purposes." Another common error is substituting a more familiar word for another, as in these resolutions: "I need to increase my self-steam," "I will try to curve my bad habits." Sometimes words are invented on the spot, as in the case of a student who argued that others were experiencing "confusement" about a topic.
Sometimes the results of guess-and-go writing are both worrisome and endearing, as one third grader wrote to his teacher: "Dear Ms.___, Youo ar da best teecher I evere head."