The moment white metal doors slammed shut behind Jack, he realized that he had two major problems. First, there had to be some way of explaining to his wife Julie why he was locked away in a filthy Ukrainian venereal disease clinic. Second, Jack did not want to lose his job at Windsor Porter & Gump. All he needed was to create a credible alibi, as Jack had been taught in law school, one that would raise just enough reasonable doubt about his true condition to get him off the hook.
Jack turned to the door and knocked as hard as he could. "There's been a mistake! I don't belong here! Call the American Embassy at once!" There was no reply.
"You are American?" Jack looked over his shoulder to see a clean-cut man in his mid-thirties with a potbelly. An amiable fellow, he seemed grateful for an unexpected opportunity to sharpen his English skills. "And you don't belong here?"
"It's all a misunderstanding," Jack cried out.
"You don't have syphilis?"
"And you have a wife?" The young man nodded at the golden band on Jack's finger.
"Julie. Her name is Julie. Jesus, how could I have been so stupid?"
"Not fair, is it? Thirty days just for getting laid?"
"What are you talking about? What thirty days?"