The Toe Incident
Copyright 2011 Mary Kitt-Neel
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Cover Photograph © 2006 Mary Hiers
Paula was trying very hard to keep a straight face while her best friend Martine told her about her date with the programmer the previous Wednesday night. It didn’t help that they were drinking heavily and that Paula was a very jolly drunk.
“OK, OK. You have to explain to me exactly how you managed to break his toe during sex,” she said, as soon as the waitress left with their order. She tried whispering the word “sex,” but it came out as a high-pitched squeak instead. She tried moving her nostrils and upper lip downward to suppress the huge guffaw that threatened to erupt from her solar plexus.
“Jesus Christ, I just stepped on it, OK?” whispered Martine furiously. “I was bent over the bed and he was standing behind me. I was standing on my toes and then came down onto my heels. His toe was underneath my left heel. Godddamn.”
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” said Paula.
“Oh it was. Trust me,” said Martine. “He hasn’t called me and I don’t know whether to call him. They don’t make a fucking Hallmark card for this type of thing.”