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The Cat


The Mad Lobster

A True Story


Robert Alan Chapin

Copyright 2011

A Smashwords Edition

I have never been a cat lover but we had him for 18 years. One thing you could not do was sit with bare feet exposed. He would unexpectedly jump at them and you either found yourself fending him off or getting spiked by his sharp claws and teeth. I realize he was only playing, but it was a an embarrassing encounter when we had guests.

It is often said that cats do not perform tricks well, but even though this cat had a foot fetish I was able to train him to do a few tricks. I would wrestle him to the floor and, “playfully” take his front leg and with a piece of ribbon - tie it onto his hind leg in the fashion of a rodeo wrestler tying a calf. Then raise my hands up triumphantly! Kitty could not wait for me to arrive home where he would nudge me while carrying a piece of ribbon in his mouth.

He always allowed me to play with him and never showed his claws in anger. The most hilarious trick happened one night when (kitty, a house cat) was resting on the floor one summer night next to the screen door. I was watching the 11:00 PM news and the cat did not take kindly to other cats - especially a feral animal. As it walked by our door kitty became territorial and literally shot through the closed screen as easily as if it were a piece of paper.

I previously trained the cat to play dead. I would point my thumb and forefinger at him pretending to have a gun. We had worked out this routine - and as stupid as it sounds I would begin by saying:

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