How to Build Your Self-Worth
Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence & Optimism
What works and what doesn’t
Dr. Gordon Cochrane, R. Psych.
Copyright 2018-Gordon Cochrane
A great many people are personally familiar with the type of frustrating internal struggle that was recently described for me by a bright, capable but very distressed woman. "It seems that whenever a part of me sets important goals and begins to make plans for my future, another part of me quickly becomes scornfully critical and effectively undermines every important thing that I try to do…It's like this judgmental part of me assumes that no matter what important goals I set, I will fail and I don’t really deserve to reach them anyway." She went on to say that her internal struggle had been evident as she contemplated her education and career goals. She did complete her degree but she said that it had been a constant anxiety-laden struggle to do so. She added that a variation of this struggle came to the fore whenever she felt herself attracted to the kind of man who could become her partner in a loving, life-enhancing relationship. She said that the fundamental theme of her self-doubt becomes, “Who do you think you are? He’s too good for you. He will find someone better and you will get hurt again.” “It seems that I don’t have a very good opinion of myself and the more I want something, the more I doubt myself,” she concluded