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THE HUMAN ATE MY PUMPKIN!


It wasn’t dark, it wasn’t stormy, and it wasn’t quite night. Despite this, Ned enjoyed the crisp autumn air anyway. He always looked forward to the peaceful promise of twilight. Ned was undead and, like most of his kind, didn’t really prefer the term Zombie. He was tall, and some had gone so far as to describe him as quite dashing. He certainly un-lived up to it, with his exposed, twisted neck bone and ever-so-slightly enhanced decayed flesh that revealed just a tantalizing hint of his skull. But this evening he looked different. Very different. Unfortunately, too different. And, since it seemed everybody else had lost the spirit of Halloween, it was going to make his journey home from work a lot more difficult.

Ned sighed up at the dimming sky and began shambling down the road along the edge of a suburban park. The undead were surprisingly particular and set in their ways. Two things they enjoyed above all were long walks at night and the comforts of a dilapidated old house. He had a long way to travel before he would be able to see the inviting rusty iron gates guarding the pathway to his creepy old mansion on the hill. Unfortunately, it was rush hour, and he knew it would take a while.

Rush hour hadn’t usually been much of a problem before The Invasion Of The Things From The Sky. That’s what all the cable news networks called it, anyway. It sounded ridiculous to him. He thought they should have come up with a better headline, like ETs Ate The Dead, or Alien Lifeform Impact Extravaganza Now! (ALIEN! - Ned loved acronyms.) Oh well, maybe it was a good thing he wasn’t a TV news copywriter.

He’d actually paid scant attention to the whole brouhaha, at least at first. It wasn’t until his daily commutes from his job at the graveyard were adversely affected that he really began to take notice. He worked the midday shift, universally dreaded by his coworkers, but he didn’t mind. As jobs went, it was reasonably comfortable, almost always quiet and not overly stressful. But the last thing he wanted to deal with after a long, tiring day of work was hordes of marauding Invaders mucking up his commute.

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