“The Maryland State Highway Administration spokesperson blame the difficult and dangerous road conditions on the shortage of road salt this year. Mack Warner assures residents that his crews and back up freelance crews will be running around the clock until the blizzard passes. Approximately six inches have fallen over the last two hours, we could be looking at two feet, boys!”
The sound of breaking dishes filled the car and the DJ, Fat Bob the Mouthy Slob, broke out into fart noises. “But only a jackass would be out on the roads right now any way, Chopper Tom! You’re not up in your chopper are you Chopper Tom?” More stupid noises.
“No, Bob, I’m not. I’m on the ground.”
“But not on the road, right? Because that would make you…” Donkey noises screeched from the stereo and Phoebe gripped the steering wheel so hard she felt sure it would snap. “A jackass.”