Interview with Hermann Observer

Published 2014-09-27.
Who are your favorite authors?
They change. Although I've never met an author I didn't like (this is probably because I've never actually met an author). At the moment I'll go with Philip K. Dick, Hunter S. Thompson and Alfred E. Neuman. You know, guys like that.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
I don't have five favorite books. I have one favorite book. It is always the one I am currently reading (if it wasn't my favorite book I wouldn't be reading it). I can give you five random favorite books of mine from the past if you would like, however.
The Man in the High Castle. Why? The dystopian schizophrenia.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Why? The Samoan lawyer.
Großer Bruder Maxi Hase. Why? The pictures.
Lucky Jim. Why? Dixon's public lecture.
V. Why? The alligator.
Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
Central California. On a farm. Peaches and grapes. A red tractor. Chickens and manure. Lots of dogs. A bunch of them got run over, though. Incredibly hot summers. Johnson Grass and hardpan. Freight trains at night and railroad trestles here and there. A 1960 Dodge Dart (with a push-button transmission and cool wings on the side). Floating down the Kings River in inner tubes and drinking beer. A garage band. High School football games and dances and Frito Boats. There's a whole lot more than that, of course. But how could any of that possibly influence anybody?
What motivated you to become an indie author?
Here's where I say it was "because nobody else would publish me" but it never even crossed my mind to ask. I can't imagine that anyone else would be interested in publishing anything I write so who else is going to do this if not me?
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
My success has been relatively limited up until now. I do not think it would be fair to give Smashwords the blame for this, however.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
I have been blessed with the ability to laugh at my own jokes. I could read the wonderful things I write all day long, and often do. I would never consider actually buying any of my own stuff, however. I hope you folks out there see that differently.
What do your fans mean to you?
I have three so far and they mean more to me than you can possibly imagine.
What are you working on next?
I think I'm going to try my hand at something they call "fiction." You know, make-believe stories and stuff?
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
The burning desire to play a productive and meaningful role in society.
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
I dabble in neurosurgery and robotics.
How do you discover the ebooks you read?
I don't differentiate between ebooks and "real" books and that's a very good question. Sometimes I go on a binge and read two or three books from whatever author interests me at the moment. Why he or she might interest me is not usually clear, however. Sometimes I stumble across them when friends or family read them but less so. I'm interested in lots of things so I think it's just a purely random process. I don't tend to read what I am told to read, though (best seller lists, for instance).
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
I have yet to complete one that I would actually call my own.
What is your writing process?
That is what they call a trade secret.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
I wish I could remember the name of it. It was about some guy in the Midwest who decided he wanted to conduct an orchestra in his small town (he knows nothing about music). Everybody thinks that he's nuts and that he's going to make a complete fool of himself but he goes through with it anyway and, in the end, everybody except him is absolutely flabbergasted that he pulls it off with flying colors. Which reminds me... There's this section in Leaves of Grass where a sea battle between the British and the Americans in 1812 is described in terrible detail - how the Americans are getting blown to bits, that is. You only see the destruction on the American side even though they are firing back at the British, as well, of course. It only gets worse and worse and all is lost, or so it seems. And then quietly, in passing, the British surrender.
How do you approach cover design?
I personally design my covers in such a way that they cover the entire book (from start to finish).
What do you read for pleasure?
You're going to have to define pleasure a little more clearly before I answer that one. Thank you.
Smashwords Interviews are created by the profiled author or publisher.

Books by This Author

The Sayings of Confusius - Confusionism for Beginners
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 27,950. Language: English. Published: January 19, 2021. Categories: Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » White house, Nonfiction » Philosophy » Political
Confusius is confused. From cultural appropriation to The Great Presidential Election Fraud of 2020, Confusius feels as if the world has been pulled out from beneath his feet. Confusionism is an expression of this confusion and the assorted humorous observations which comprise this little book are an attempt to come to grips with the left-wing lunacy and demoralization we now find all around us.
Brain Quest - A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 49,170. Language: English. Published: December 26, 2017. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody, Fiction » Science fiction » Adventure
Join Major Miles Stone and his disturbingly alluring crew on their miniaturized mission through the left and lefter hemispheres of the progressive brain. Not your everyday dystopian science-fiction erotic horror political thriller, this bombastic bombshell of a book knows no shame when it comes to overwhelming you with its serious silliness, wanton wackiness and forthright, flat-out farce.
The Little Red Book: Of Little-Read Jokes about the Enlightened Left
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 13,100. Language: English. Published: August 25, 2015. Categories: Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » Current affairs, Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » Communism & socialism
Much like Chairman Mao's compilation of hilarious witticisms published during Communist China's zany Cultural Revolution back in the day, this little red book is an uproarious collection of pointless nonsense and senseless drivel dedicated to the countless enlightened leftists still annoyingly omnipresent in our present era.
501 German Oddities - Observations from an Innocent Abroad
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 34,200. Language: English. Published: September 14, 2014. Categories: Nonfiction » Travel » By region » Europe, Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire » Form / trivia
(3.00 from 1 review)
Sure, you may have thought you already knew everything there was to know about Germany and the Germans. After all, every school kid knows that Germany is the land of circulatory disorders, Turkish döner kebab, naked sledding competitions and David Hasselhoff. But Germany is more than that. Much more.
Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,590. Language: English. Published: August 31, 2014. Categories: Nonfiction » Language Instruction » German, Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire » Form / anecdotes & quotations
(4.00 from 2 reviews)
Have you ever ordered leather cheese? Have you ever told your cab driver that your hotel is located on One-Way Street? I doubt it. But English speakers trying to speak German say bizarre things like this all the time and I, for one, feel their pain. Acutely, even. They are speaking Dumb Deutsch. And they have no one else to blame but themselves.