Interview with Gwendolyn Wyldes

What are you working on next?
I've got a brand new series coming out. This'll be my first time publishing on Smashwords, so I decided to write something completely new just for my Smashwords readers. The series is called "Captured by Faeries" and will have about 25 to 30 books in the set, each one featuring a different type of Faerie and his human captive. It'll feature many rarely used races of the Fae like Phooka, Ghuillie Dhu, FarDarrig, Ceffyl Dŵr, Gancanagh, Kelpie, Fachen, Cù Sìth, Redcap, Dullahan, Clurichaun, Leprechaun, Coblynau, etc, you know, the Real Faeries. I've actually never seen ANY of these races used in this way before - I've looked long and hard for them too. I realized that the only way I'd get to read stories about guys from these hot races was if I wrote them myself. It's Monster Porn erotica of course.
What's the story behind your latest series?
"Captured by Faeries"? It's about girls getting abducted by Faeries, kind of self explanatory really. LOL! I'm a Scottish Traveller and a practitioner of Fairy Faith, my spirit guide is a FarDarrig. Faeries, esp Welsh and Scottish ones are a daily part of my life. I love Faeries, real Faeries, the flesh eating blood thirsty cryptid monsters from Gaelic mythology, not the prissy made up Victorian butterfly-winged flower fairies. Well, I'm always searching high and low of Faerie stories but I'm always deeply disappointed in every single modern day "Paranormal Romance" featuring Faeries because they NEVER feature actual Faeries, always those fake fairies instead. It really annoys me the way authors of those stories are so utterly clueless as to what a Faerie actually is. Didn't they do their research? Well, basically I got so sick of not being able to find any stories about real Faeries to read, so I decided to write them myself, and that's how I came to write this series.

Each story in the set is planned to be about 5,000 words long and it's Monster Erotica, I mean, how much plot can you put in 5k words when you have to save space for, you know, capturing the girl, having you way with the girl, capturing the girl again after she escapes, breeding her a few more times til she discovers shes pregnant and stays with him, yadda, yadda, yadda? It's Monster Breeding Porn, it's all about being abducted and bred by monsters. Like I said it's real Faeries so you got Phooka, Ghuillie Dhu, FarDarrig, Ceffyl Dŵr, Gancanagh, Kelpie, Fachen, Cù Sìth, Redcap, Dullahan, Clurichaun, Leprechaun, Coblynau, etc, you know, the Real Faeries.
What is your writing process?
I use "beat sheets". I know, I know, that's cheating right? But hey, I'm putting out a new story every week, you gotta have a formula that you use to keep on schedule with.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
The desire to write about getting in bed with all those mega hot non human monster dudes I write about. ;)
Why do you use a Lady Slipper for your profile picture?
You seriously have to ask? Well, duh, it's a Lady Slipper, I mean look at it... Do you see it? No? Let me give you a hint. I write porn, and my monster male characters, like capturing female humans because "they gots nice pink hoo-hoos that fold apart like pink orchid blossoms"... I've used that phrase several times in my books. Go back and take another look at that flower - do you see it NOW? Read one of my stories and you'll never be able to look at flowers or seashells again, not without seeing something naughty. :D
How do you approach cover design?
You know this one's funny, but I got really crappy covers. Well, not total crap, but not professional by far. Most of my non-erotica has very professional looking covers. For my erotica, however, (as well as some of my sci-fi and weird/bizarro tales) I actually go out of my way to make the covers look cheesy, tacky, not the least bit professional on purpose.

For example, a story set on the beach (most of them are, because I live on a beach and tend to sit on the beach and write my stories longhand) I'll run out to the beach, snap a photo of the beach, come back inside, slap neon pink ultra cute tacky font (you know heart shaped letters or flower shaped letters or some such thing - really bad, cheesy screams self published type of font) across the cover, so all you see is GIANT pink font, blocking out the blue/brown ocean/beach photo, and that's it.

My faerie erotica, has photos of flowers from my garden on the cover. a close up of a rose or a lilac, with big purple font shaped like kittens and easter eggs.

My yeti erotica has stock images of glaciers on the covers, with blue font shaped like snowflakes or ice capped letters.

Of course my erotica also tends to be based largely on tacky, cheesy B-movies of the 1960s (you know vampire aliens from outer space who are here to kidnap women, 100 foot tall horny cave girls time traveling in search of men to bred with, flocks of hummingbirds picking people's eyes out while the last surviving couple locks themselves is bunker to start repopulating the world because they are like Adan and Eve now...yeah, that kind of erotica, that's what I write, the really odd ball stuff), so having tacky cheesy beach photo with tacky cheesy eye blinding bright font dancing across the top, does in fact match the whole bad b-movie erotica genre I'm writing. All my erotica are kind of easy to identify by their wicked tacky covers, regardless of what penname I use.

I search mourgefiles for free images of masks, teapots, hula girl dashboard dolls, roses, beaches, etc. There is not a single person on any of my erotica covers, so I don't have to worry about the whole hand bra and panty issues. (A lot of books are getting pulled off various seller sites for covers being "too sexy", but I've yet to have a book pulled.)

The funny part of it is, I'm really good at making covers, and so when you look at my "really good" covers and than you look at my erotica covers, it's like OMG! What happened? What did you flush your skills down the toilet? GAH! What happened? Your other covers are so good, why are these so crappy? My long time readers are used to the bad covers, so they expect it, and the ones who've been following me long enough know that the bad covers are kind of an inside joke, because I'm always saying "never judge a book by it's cover" [i](usually in response to people's reaction to meeting my little itty bitty 70 year old husband, and the whole "but you look like this and he looks like that, and you're so young and he's so old, you could have anybody why are you with him?")[/i] So I'm always saying "never judge a book by it's cover" and than I'd have really good covers on my books and readers would be, so why do you say that?

It was back in MySpace days, me and some MySpace friends were yapping about book covers and some of my fans were pointing out, I'm always saying "never judge a book by it's cover", and well, I had pretty good covers so does that mean the story inside is crap and I put good covers on them to make up for the fact that the story wasn't any good?

It kind of started out as a joke between me and some of my long time readers to prove that, good stories don't need good covers, and after a while it just sort of became my "trademark" or "brand" to have these really horribly insanely crappy bad covers on my erotica. LOL! :P I originally only intended to do it on 1 or 2 covers, and than switch them out later, but i never did and I kept doing it and, it's just what my readers expect me to do now. I think it works for me because I'm writing REALLY non-standard erotica so they can get away with having non-standard covers.

Even more non-standard than that, is another series of erotica that I've got, with NO COVERS AT ALL. I created these covers on Paint. Yeah, that cheap crappy program that came on my XP computer. I create a new file that is 8x11 and than drop a color into it. One color. Pink, blue, yellow, any color. Chosen completely at random. Save. done. Than I go to my regular editing program and drop on the font - plain simple black font. Title. Penname. Upload. Done. Erotica with no cover image at all.

But my covers are VERY non standard for erotica. EXTREMELY non standard. And if you don't already have a fan base, I'm not sure I'd recommend it, I mean I'm sure by not having sexy covers it probably means my sales but my books aren't getting pulled while many others' books are.
What do you read for pleasure?
I read what i write, I write what I read...yeah, sex, sex, sex with every monster under the sun. :P I love me some Monster Porn!
How do you discover the ebooks you read?
Well seeing how I read mostly Monster Porn and Monster Erotica these days, I search for various types of monsters, with the word "sex", so "bigfoot sex" or "yeti sex" or "vampire sex" or "merman sex". There's a ton of it on Amazon and here on Smashwords.
Published 2014-05-03.
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