Interview with Joaquin Emiliano

Who are your favorite authors?
all the good ones.
What are you working on next?
...this hangover.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
the bathroom.
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
all in one place.
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
well, just the other day, i found a tomato in the shape of a dinosaur.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
cleaner dishes.
spotless.
gets rid of grease in under thirteen words or less.
What do your fans mean to you?
a gentle reminder that the air conditioning unit costs too much to fix.
How do you discover the ebooks you read?
i sit them down on an ebook casting couch.
it gets kind of dirty after that.
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
yes.
What is your writing process?
infinite typewriters. infinite monkeys.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
stephen king's The Mist.
it was part of an anthology,
so when that kid sent it upside my head,
yes, lots of pain.

hardcover, to boot.
How do you approach cover design?
never judge it by its it.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
is the hunger games still cool?
all five of those.
....three?
ok, i'll throw in all two of the twilight books for free.
What do you read for pleasure?
[ANSWER REDACTED]
What is your e-reading device of choice?
the iMoron.
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?
i once traded in a book for three magic beans.
spoiler alert: giants have relatives and they are all angry.
Describe your desk
three inches and flaccid.
....oh, desk.
with an "e".

...nothing special, but it's thick.
Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
outer space.
it was pretty neat.
When did you first start writing?
just after the end of this sentence.
What's the story behind your latest book?
i keep trying to peek, but it keeps moving.
i'm guessing flowers, or a puppy.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
despair.
Write your own question here!
ok!
Published 2016-08-02.
Smashwords Interviews are created by the profiled author, publisher or reader.

Books by This Author

Almost Lucky
Price: Free! Words: 109,760. Language: English. Published: May 7, 2017. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary, Fiction » Coming of age
(5.00 from 1 review)
- join Lucky for an evening underground and a classic tale of Boy sees famous girl, Boy doesn’t meet famous girl, Boy keeps trying to meet famous girl, Boy keeps chasing, Boy follows the white rabbit of fame, Boy loses his friends, Boy loses his mind, Boy meets fate, Boy ends up drinking in a bar with no doorknobs, ready to join Lucky for an evening underground and a classic tale of -
Stories From a Bar With No Doorknobs
Price: Free! Words: 134,880. Language: English. Published: February 7, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Stories From a Bar With No Doorknobs is a short fiction anthology, drinking companion, sexual albatross and your keys to the asylum. Don't say you weren't warned.
Suicide Notes From A Wedding
Price: Free! Words: 30,420. Language: English. Published: February 16, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
(5.00 from 1 review)
Some six months before killing himself, Lucky Saurelius is honor bound to serve as a groomsman at his best friend's wedding. Armed with a rented tux, carton of cigarettes and a bottle of Grey Goose, he strikes out for Pennsylvania. With one last chance to settle his affairs, and no chance of turning things around, Lucky inadvertently resolves to compose the suicide note to end all suicide notes.
Angry Jonny
Price: Free! Words: 141,470. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Crime thriller, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
Verona, North Carolina. 2009. Jessica Kincaid, a wildly intelligent 18 year old with a dark past, finds her worst enemies being brutally taken down by Angry Jonny - an anonymous vigilante who has tapped into enraged psyche of the recession era. As her world descends into chaos, Jessica must track down Angry Jonny before she succumbs to his dangerous manifesto and the fury of her own demons.