Interview with Sirijs Karu

Is The Brown Phoenix sexy, erotic or porn?
It is ultimately in the eye of the beholder. To me, it's all of the above and none of the above. It's the closest I can come to describing the essence of zen in a relationship that is essentially, indescribably whole. As much as one can attempt to describe anything in words, the very use of words is exactly that: an attempt to fix the essence and symbolise the experience. The reader will be coloured by his or her own life and experience which may allow vicarious meaning as (s)he witnesses the love of these two people.
What would you like readers to see in it?
I want readers to see the absolute and complete wholesomeness of the love I feel for this woman. Her love of me was an instrument of learning that was like a branding iron on my heart. The sex between us was the modality, the currency we dealt in, but the value of the sex was multi-layered – complex - and it became a proverbial breaking dawn on a sleeping soul. My passion is for all things ‘her’ and the resulting relationship took on a life of its own, transcended even our temporal presence in the relationship. I really do love her beyond space and time, love her beyond all boundaries, beyond my own weaknesses. She is ultimately a circle back to myself. I know myself through her. This is the priceless gift she gives me ... and I love her all the more for it. Phoenix wrote with me, answered me - she wanted readers to see that great sex is as deeply non-physical as physical (laugh) no pun intended.
Tell us the end of this love story - where are the people now?
This love story has no end. The story is based on the lives of two people - hers and mine. The interactions between us wax, wane and are episodic. The book is an episode of our lives and is a witness to just one part of OUR awareness of my devotion to, my love of and for, everything ‘her’.

In a more practical sense, I am now in the eastern part of the North America. I continue to be married to my wife and to be the best father I can be. I recognise in myself the Freudian Eros in the relationship with my daughter and the haunting similarity of its quality to what I feel for Phoenix. I have often quietly admitted to myself that although not of Phoenix, my daughter represents a personification of the relationship and love I experienced with the Phoenix. It comes alive in my daughter. I therefore love my daughter as if I am the assigned caretaker of a gift Phoenix has left me. I am dedicated to what I see as a growing, living embodiment of the past, present and future of ‘us’. I know that being a good father is what is expected ... required. It also means being a good husband, even if an incomplete one. I am going to be a dedicated man of substance, strive for depth and scope because I need to bring up my daughter in a way that honours what Phoenix means to me.

As for Phoenix, she still waits for the promise of her vision. She continues in faith and is devoted to where it will take her. By her own admission, a part of her has deeply loved me. It is what has to suffice until time assigns to her true fulfillment of its promise. She sometimes thinks of me, almost as absolutely as I do of her. She strives for truth, to herself, to me, to God. She has led the way in change, thereby teaching me about growth. She is also dedicated to the absolute: to feeling the life of a love dedicated to a living soul that is designed for her.
What makes you want to get up each day?
Belief in the growth of self and the fulfillment of the private hope of seeing us back together through the workings of the Universe. The happiness found in daughter and family and gradually accepting the reality of my marriage and working from that point to a point of comfort and fulfillment in my marriage. It is not my wife's fault I do not know how to love her as I do Phoenix. She has been through her own disappointments and I know this. She has grown to need me, if not love me.
What kind of people should read and would enjoy your book?
I have not thought about it. I wrote the book, in part, to help come to terms with the grief of not being with my love. It was a sort of catharsis. The book bears witness for anyone who ever danced in the road; cried wondering why their angel left and went from the dream that was real; anyone who discovered that permanence lies in the patience of the spirit - like when a flustered child finds faithful comfort in the arms of a parent. This book is for lovers, people that see beyond words or who realise that the magic of relationships occurs in the little things of ‘uni-plurality’. It is for anyone who has the ghost of their lover in every place that they ever existed together, but one is now left alone by the departure of the other. Phoenix thinks all erotic people would love this book, people who want and strive for complete openness of self in intimacy. Some academics should read it can't research everything...(laugh)
Where did you grow up and how did this influence your writing?
I grew up in a small agricultural mountain village at the northwestern end of an Island. The pace of life is relatively slow and there are many traditions tied to the influence of the Catholic Church as well as to French heritage. The village was and remains a beautiful, rustic place, though this is changing with the pervasive nature of the Information Age. The geography of the place is breathtaking. There are forests, agricultural fields, caves, springs and streams and the village's main road leads off to a hiking trail that ends on the seashore ... very diverse in a relatively small area. This type of environment softens. It caresses the emotions and soothes the soul. The smell of rain on the mountains is life as is the sound of old men still crying out French-patois dialogue across mountainsides. Life was simple and full of childlike innocence. Writing comes easily when I am able to feel emotions, memories and seasons through the air, earth, sky and water. For me, fire is the essence of passion, scent is the essence of spirit, related to sound - the essence of consciousness. Writing when I feel connected to all these is a fluid, unconscious process. The words have a life of their own and are born from the deepest part of me. Phoenix grew up in a neighbouring island and still lives there. She writes because it is one of her gifts ... wouldn't matter where she came from except, like me, she was blessed with excellent education.
What motivated you to become and independent writer?
The passion I felt for Phoenix needed an outlet. How could I hold such a wonderful thing to myself? With so much that is recorded about the dysfunction of relationships, why should I not shout to the world of the incredibly majestic gift God had given to me in this woman? The sin in this is to stay silent and not shout to the world, about the power of her, the honesty of her. This is not to say that there is indiscretion in bearing witness to this simple, profound love story. Love is always selfless - staying silent was leading to a crisis of being. For someone who is by nature, expressionist, silence was a cage that held me in. Writing helped me to breathe freely and shout silently. Phoenix wrote to answer my need and loved it...
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
Like I said, I am expressionist by nature. I find expression in all its forms fulfilling. At the time I met Phoenix, my mode of expression was and continues to be, writing. I've a natural talent for creating visual art and also crafting stuff from materials. Writing allowed me depth of expression in capturing the texture of the relationship. Transcendence has no qualities that are truly captured in writing, but it is mandatory that my nirvana not be held in silence. Ultimately I cannot achieve giving anyone who reads my words, my truth. But this is not a bounded exercise, non-achievement does not equate to failure. My failure would have been not to let this woman, this world, know of my love for her mind, her heart, her sex ... for her. There is no sky, only heaven. Just trying to capture the essence of this, choosing the exact words and combination of them, is the heart of my fulfillment in writing. Phoenix writes because it is one of her greatest gifts and since she easily expressed herself sexually with me and writes, the two came together as an erotic extension of one the other..
Who are your favourite authors?
I have felt no draw to a particular writer or style of writing. I enjoy immensely the works of Steinbeck, Lovelace, CLR James and Orwell. I am currently reading the Iliad by Homer. I have a bit of a melancholic psyche. I read widely and am interested in the purely scientific, as well as the psychosocial and economic. I guess you could say that I am interested in all writing that speaks to the quality and state of human existence. Phoenix's favourite writers are numberless ... one of the things that got me about her was the breadth of her mind
What does money mean to you?
Money is a tool. I am dispassionate about money but appreciative of the potential freedom it represents. Like any tool that offers a transformation of life, money is something to be employed judiciously, wisely and unselfishly. The real significance of money is that it’s a shortcut to access of power - both direct and vicarious. Its value is a quality assigned to it. Just look at the value of any currency that is not culturally recognised. It has no value unless the social significance changes, such as when a country establishes significant trading and commercial interests with another state . Phoenix always took money more seriously than I did and that was good for me and I was good for her ... she was charmed by the way I spoiled her rotten with 'what I didn't have'... claims she found it wildly sexy and intimate (laugh)
Published 2015-02-01.
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Books by This Author

The Brown Phoenix: An Erotic Dialogue from The Indies
Price: $10.99 USD. Words: 21,200. Language: English. Published: April 30, 2012 by Susan Lowe. Categories: Nonfiction » Sex and Relationships  » Sexual behavior, Essay » Literature
An extraordinary book created from 10 years of a couple's private correspondence about their relationship and themselves. Beautiful, erotic, explicit, intense and relentlessly honest. It has the impact of something many times its short length. A small masterpiece of poetry and prose in short excerpts; this is Tantra written in English. On Aug 6 it hit No. 1 on Amazon US & UK in Erotica!