What’s so great about your crap book? (Don't want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
I speak to your children whom you won’t claim, (But know are your) and I teach them how to react to the world around them in a cool manner.
What do you really think about erotica? Is it the low of the lows for writers?
Erotica fills a need for people who never get any erotica in their own lives, and has an historic place in human history right alongside the caveman’ club.
If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
Most people today don’t read beyond close captions. So long as it looks right, it will scroll off the screen before they notice any errors.
Yawn, so basically you're the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?
Unlike some writers; I do not follow the hundred-year rule, and leave outdated behaviors in my tales, many behaviors are timeless, and I choose which I keep.
Is there an author you inspired to be like?
I am who I inspire to be.
Do you think you write better than them?
Story telling has come a long way from scratching out tales with chicken feathers dabbing in a smug pot. It isn’t a matter being better, it is a matter of be relevant. Writers of every era address issues of their surroundings, and so do I.
Is your aim to out-sell them?
Wouldn’t that be nice? Many past writers never received pay more than cents per word, nor sold outside their own areas.
In the writing world, have you ever regretted anything i.e written your own review (or written a bad review on a competitor's novel), argued on-line, copied someone else's idea?
No. Some ideals are not possessions of those who claim them; they are as timeless as man himself is.
What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
My qualification is I don’t normally get caught telling lies, and those few times I have; they simply threw up their hand with no way to refute my assertions, and walk away. I love my writings, and have fun creating these stories. Enjoyment is the standard of entertainment.
Many authors use their qualifications to show off their so-called talents i.e. crime writers are often coppers and the book becomes boringly technical. How have you managed to keep your knowledge low key? Or haven’t you bothered?
Common knowledge isn’t always common; twisted truths woven in the text often mislead the reader to believe larger lies in the stories in spite of knowing from experiences.
If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story?
No, however, you would have to read it to arrive to a decision concerning if you like it or not.
What part of the world do you come from?
The United States of PANAM.
What do you think of your government?
I didn’t vote for it, but I watch the games every year to cheer for my district.
If your book is set outside England would I understand your jargon?
Yes you would as English; is explained in every dictionary on the subject
Why that shitty title?
It fits in the story in some way, and there is a place inside to wipe your eyes.
Did you run out of ideas?
No, when that happens I wait for your behavior to show me the answer.
Did you enjoy writing these tales?
Yes, if it isn’t fun for the writer, how can it be fun for the reader?
How long did it take you to complete your book (from idea to publication)?
Depends on which one you want to know about. Every story is different in the time it takes to create, but generally speaking, statutes of limitations must pass before I release a tale.
If it took under a year to write: It didn’t take you long to write so does that mean it is poorly researched, edited and written on a whim?
Stories tell themselves in however long it takes to express the end.
If it took over a year to write: Does that mean this book is boringly long and laborious to read?
No, excessive time isn’t a factor. Prison Weekend Work release is often is the real reason for delays.
Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?
I have to like the stories to finish them; as for habits, if you can get away with doing it, they aren’t bad.
Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such? And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
No, labels like book titles do not completely reflect what is inside, however “loner” is far better than “Drunken @#$#@”.
What do you think of social media
A place to borrow money to pay my liquor store tab
Does ‘being a writer’ make you feel like an outsider with normal, everyday people such as your family and friends?
No, my stories are about your behaviors, and they are included.
Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?
Pizza and beer overdose
Give me the first, middle and end line in your book
First line is the title, and middle lines are various; however, they finish with; the end
Smashwords Interviews are created by the profiled author, publisher or reader.