Usually a whining dog, who lacks the empathy to understand she can wait another hour to eat breakfast, or the necessary skill sets to effectively use indoor plumbing. Seriously though, it's not knowing what lies ahead each day. My favorite books and movies are the ones I can't predict the outcome. I love the plot's twists and turns. If everyday were a carbon copy and easily predictable, I'd probably mount a flag to my bedpost, rename it Joeland, and stay there all day. Can you tell I'm not fond of schedules? But, we still gotta have 'em! I'll just chose loosely formatted, open-ended routines with lots of room for variables.

Erradicating world hunger, promoting world peace, and eliminating social injustices across the globe. Oh, wait, this isn't a beauty pageant, is it? Thank God. Somebody might request a body of proof for my alleged altruistic works. I still have a day job, so at least 40-60 hours a week go there. Kids and family life make up the majority of the rest, with school activities, sports, and all of the stuff that's part and parcel with being a dad and a husband!

I just found this thing last week called the worldwide web. It's so cool! Come on now, wouldn't you rather have me be a smartass than a dumbass? I like reading all kinds of different genres. I usually find an author I like, and read several pieces of their work before venturing to another author from that same genre. Eventually, I decide it's time for a change, and pick a new genre. A lot of stuff comes to me by suggestion from friends and family. Since joining Smashwords, I've enjoyed surfing the site's categories and seeing what's out there. I had no idea so many people like to write!

No, but I remember remembering the first story I wrote. It was somewhere in elementary school. I believed I created an absolute masterpiece. The teacher's red ink across the paper suggested otherwise. I'd like to say that the experience left me undaunted, but it happened about 36 years ago and this is my first novel. Not that I had big plans for ePublishing on the internet back in the late 70's, but I probably focussed on other areas after that. But that's still cool. Everything that's happened up until this point happened for a reason and I've got loads of material to write about now. Timing is everything, right? Or is it location? You decide.

I freak out, realizing in a instant that I possess no graphic art skills or abilities. I envision the cover of my book and imagine a dull, listless, gray, drab cover that looks like in belongs on the front of a government technical manual explaining the intricacies of data management systems. Then I snap out of it and call Noah Hummel. Noah's a graphic artist and clearly makes up for all of the areas I fall short. He designed the cover for "The Bernie Factor" and I couldn't be happier. For those writers that are also gifted in graphic art design, you suck. Actually you rock, and i'm envious of your duality. However, my stick figures kind of have an avant-garde quality to them. No, really.

World War II era gun cleaning manuals. They simply hold a certain, je ne sais quoi that keeps me coming back to them. When I've had my fill of carbine rifle management literature, I try to expand my horizons. I typically don't gravitate toward any specific genre, but I tend to avoid romance, unless it involves midgets. Just kidding. I usually get into one genre and stay with it for awhile and then move on to another. I'll read everyything from Donald Miller to Stephen King to Christopher Moore. If I'm into suspense, mystery, crime thriller, I'm all over it and that's all I read. I'll stick with a specific genre for several months before moving on to something totally different.

I've had a Kindle for several years. When I got the Kindle there wasn't really a lot of ePublishing outside of Amazon, so I went with their device. I've used an iPad since then from time to time, but I still mostly use a Kindle. It's a good thing that it's so easy to download form Smashwords to a Kindle!

My desk stands as a bastion for dust bunnies and a broad coaster selection, because one can never have enough beverages while hammering a keyboard and cleaning desks ranks low on my to-do list. Not that I don't occasionally wipe it down, like twice a year, whether it needs it or not.

I grew up on the east coast in the D.C. metropolitan area. Since "The Bernie Factor" takes place in a fictions town in Colorado, I'm not sure where I grew up influenced my writing. I attempted vain attempts at writing while in Kansas City, MO, but the real effort didn't happen until arriving in Colorado. The influence on my writing probably comes more from the connection I felt with other author's works, while I tried to find my own voice. That process happened in my head and in my heart. Geography never played a vital role.

The chance to follow a dream I've held at bay for years, to have control over my destiny, and to breath life into something that is uniquely mine. There's a great satisfaction with creating something that didn't exist just a short time ago. Of course, the ideas may come from within, but the finished product involves several people that are crucial to the final result.

I'm successful? Sweet! Smashwords is the platform to promote my dream. I don't know how one can contribute in too much of a bigger way.

It's what motivates me to be an indie author - the chance to create something that didn't previously exist. I had lots of self doubt while writing "The Bernie Factor", not sure I was even qualified to be an author. I read a post that said if you want to be an author, just write the book and don't worry if anybody ever sees it or reads it. If you wrote it, you're an author, plain and simple. Of course, now that I've written it, the thought of nobody ever reading it is a bit demoralizing. So in the vein of spreading happiness to unknown authors, please feel free to download "The Bernie Factor". At the the very least download a free sample. So much to gain, so little to lose!