Interview with Finn Blakkatt

Describe your desk
Like most desks ... littered with empty bottles of rye.
When did you first start writing?
When I first started drinking beer which was at the age of 3 - give or take a couple years.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
I like cool chicks, fast cars and Indian cuisine ... so Indie seemed like the logical place to find all of them.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
Knowing that in 100 years, long after I am dead, I will be a famous author and my grandchildren will be able to piss away money that should have rightfully been mine to squander.
What do your fans mean to you?
A cool summer breeze whenever I turn them on!
What are you working on next?
Finding a job that actually pays while also living the writers dream!!
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
My cat - pawing on my face at 6 am looking for food.
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
Like most people: masturbating, thinking up ways to rob a museum, creating another fantastically creative dish with just ramen noodles and butter ... the usual.
What is your writing process?
Drink heavily, stumble to computer, type, pass out, wake up, edit. Repeat the following night.
How do you approach cover design?
I think of what I have lying around my halfway house that is free. I take a picture of it using someone's old cell phone and ask someone at the welfare office to download and upload it for me. In short - my process needs to be cheap and easy.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
1 - The Bible (because I love reading fiction and I love having an imaginary friend)

2 - Anything Dr. Seuss (gotta love the Grinch!)

3 - The Book of Mormon (I am not sure this is really a book - but I love the play!!)

4 - Anything written by a Republican (I am a sucker for stupid humor!)

5 - ??? - I can't jerk off 5 times in a week - doing 5 of anything is just way beyond my mental capacity
What do you read for pleasure?
Whatever I find lying on the ground in a public restroom which, typically, amounts to nothing more than bits of tissue paper. As such, I just read whatever smut is written on the inside of the stall I am sitting in. In fact, I am still awaiting a call back from the person who gives "incredible blow jobs."
Published 2015-09-11.
Smashwords Interviews are created by the profiled author, publisher or reader.

Books by This Author

Poop Squirrel
Price: Free! Words: 53,780. Language: English. Published: September 9, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
This debut collection of essays from Finn Blakkatt showcases the humorous outcomes of anyone with bipolar or who aspires to visit both poles. Witty, irreverent and decidedly off-center; Blakkatt shares a collection of sadly funny life stories while also attempting to solve life’s many simple mysteries.