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Interview with Bruce Wenner

Published 2015-01-14.
What do your fans mean to you?
In Thai language, which I can speak a little, "fan" means girlfriend, or wife. So if you ask me what does my wife mean to me, I would say she means everything.
Who are your favorite authors?
Kilgore Trout, Wyatt Earp, and Marlon Brando.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
The bathroom. And coffee.
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
Dancing. Building airplanes. Digging tunnels. Stuff like that.
How do you discover the ebooks you read?
I go to the thrift stores and buy paperbacks.
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
A man murdered his wife and churned her body up at the meat processing factory where he worked. One day a while later, he bit into a hotdog and choked to death on her wedding ring.
What is your writing process?
Very slow.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
Catch 22. I was amazed at how great it was, and I was amazed that I was actually able to read a whole book.
How do you approach cover design?
From the east, at dawn.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
Don Quixote, A Confederacy of Dunces, Catch 22, and God Bless You Mr. Rosewater. I'm actually a character in all of them.
What do you read for pleasure?
Hieroglyphics.
What is your e-reading device of choice?
A computer.
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?
My uncle Don Andolini tells people they should buy the book. Really, they should buy the book. It's a lot better for everyone when they just buy the book. Buy the fuckin book!
Describe your desk
Flat. Looks like a box.
Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
I grew up in a house. There was paper and pencils lying about.
When did you first start writing?
I can't remember, but it was probably around the second or third grade.
What's the story behind your latest book?
I explain how to live to the age of 130 in perfect health, regardless of how much you drink and smoke, and how to become a multi-millionaire with zero effort and absolutely no talent, skills, knowledge or ability.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
They told me it was the mental illness.
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
If anyone reads one of my books, it is because Smashwords made it possible.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
Creating is fun for me. Especially creating dinner.
Is it true that you have the ability to fly?
Yes.
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Books by This Author

Captain Latane by
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 91,090. Language: English. Published: January 14, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
In this retelling of the Don Quixote story, Harry Hoffman has become too absorbed in the Civil War books in his library. He has become Captain Latane. His mission: to save Richmond form the Yankee invasion. Riding through the fields east of the city, he finds, Pepper, a pitiful man deserted by his friends, and together they will defend their country from the northern invaders.
The Interpreter by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 42,800. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
American John Bonner arrives for a business meeting in Paris. At the airport he meets, and hires, an interpreter to help him tour Paris during his limited free time. The interpreter, Henri Plateau, takes John on a tour of angry taxi drivers, rude waiters, expensive food, and too many strong cocktails. And the trouble is just beginning.