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Smashwords book reviews by 713

  • The Davina Code on April 25, 2013

    ★★★★★The Davina Code by Janet Elizabeth Henderson I was given this book in exchange for my honest review I l♥ved, l♥ved, l♥ved, this book. I did not realize it was a romance comedy, when I began reading. I was only aware that it was a romance. Within the first chapter, I was laughing so hard, I bit my lip. Then I was thinking okay, we've gotten a few funny lines in, and that would be all. Boy, was I wrong, I laughed through the entire book. By around 12:30am, I was getting pretty tired, but with only a hundred page to go, I had to stay up and finish it. There was no way, I was going to fall asleep, knowing the e-book was sitting beside me, waiting to be finished. And around 2:30am, I had to sit it down sadly, as I was finished. I want more! ******************************some spoilers***************************************** This book is about Jack Miller, a drug detective, who is put on leave with mandatory psychiatric visits, all of a silly little punch. Jack is not having any part of that. He is after all, this macho, pigheaded, lovable,egocentric, protective ball of mess, wrapped in a beautiful,6'2, solid muscle package. He knows what best, and that sure as hell is not therapy. Jack, inherits a house from his great aunt Millie, after her death. However, there is a problem, it has now in shambles, compared to how it was in its glory days, and it comes with a tenant, Davina Davenport.Just what he needs, yet another thing to throw on his pile of problems. When Jack goes to meet the tenant and inspect the house, he gets a rude awakening, literally, with ice water. He wakes up to find, he has been hit in the head, and knocked out. To make matters worse, he has been tied up spread eagle, with scarves, on the porch. What a strange situation to be in. And top it all with the auburn haired vixen, in front of his face, he don't know whether, to be mad, or turned on, but he's not thinking with his brain anymore. Davina, is a beautiful, eccentric woman, who seems to be all kinds of CRAZY. She is an actress, or used to be one, a vicars daughter, a night school teacher, a baker, and a runner at the local tv station. She dances to the beat of a different drum, that she might have gotten from great aunt Millie. Jack and Crazy Davy, as he has nicknamed her, have a very volatile relationship, from day one, that could explode at any second, whether it be good or bad. She insist he is not coming in the house, to inspect for two weeks, which is the law. This gets his detective skills, racing. What is Crazy Davy hiding, it must be illegal, and Jack is not going to stop until he finds out. She is sticking to the rule, no matter what. So he will just have to annoy her, until she gives in. But, two can play that game. ****************************end spoilers******************************************* This a great easy read, for anyone looking for a good laugh. The most unlikely pair, in awkward situations, just trying to make it through the next two weeks. I say "READ IT NOW," as my recommendation. A reread is sure to brighten my day, in the future. Thank you to the author for letting me enjoy all the crazy, that is Jack and Crazy Dazy. I'm look forward to reading your other books, Mad Love, Laura's Big Break, and Lingerie Wars.
  • End of Amnesia: A Short Story on June 06, 2013

    ★★ End of Amnesia by Grant Palmquist I won this R2R from LibraryThing members give away, in exchange for an honest review. I'm not really sure what I think of this story. I truly have no idea, what the title has to do with this story. This is a short story with only 14 pages, but I'm guessing it covers a year to two years of time. So almost all detail is left out. This left me with more questions than answers. For what it was, it was written ok, but it just fell short. This had the potential to be a really interesting story, but was just lacking too much. This read more like a prologue, than a completed story. Thank you to the author for giving me the chance to read/review this story.
  • Drowning Ophelia on June 08, 2013

    Drowning Ophelia(Immoral Dracula#1) by Eva Natsumi I was given this R2R in exchange for my honest review. Wow where to even start on this one. This was so ridiculous, it was laughable. This is not your typical Vamp story boys and girls. First off apparently this town does not own underclothes. Lol. No bras, panties, nothing. They also like to wear sheer white clothing in the rain. And are virgin waitress, Ophelia, is a freak, who wants to show her lady bits, to the customers, but would also like to stab them with a fork. Go figure, completely normal. Then we end up on a bus right. The only available seat is next to this gorgeous lady, so she must take it, falling into her lap, because of the rude driver. This is going to cause quite a few wardrobe malfunctions, and they play I'll show you mine if you show me yours. This is going to lead to our virgin waitress getting finger on the bus, along with pics of lipstick shoved up her and big black dildos. The bus has to pull over because the rain is just too strong. They stop at the only thing for miles, a mansion. Which leads to the virgin waitress having sex with the owner, being completely skilled at everything, including the art of a perfect blow job. The owner has had an accident, that requires him to drink fresh human blood( yep, he's a vamp, I guess ), but this doesn't bother our not so virgin waitress, so she decides she should bite, too. So we ave one big bloody mess of sex. The lady from the bus shows up, and they go for a walk, only to find a coffin, full of every kind of kink sex toy. So the girls decide to play, Nina from the bus, beats her with a spiked bar, cause her to bleed, but she's strangely okay with this. This gets interrupted by the owner's assistant. Ophelia goes back to fight with him for spying, and storms out mad. When she decided she will go out to the gardens, of his cucumber farm, and have wild kinky sex with herself using a cucumber. This is made better by the fact that he can watch through his window. She notices a shadow coming so shoves this cucumber up inside herself, and have a meaningful talk with Nina, only to laugh through most of it. Nina wants to know what's going on. Ophelia pulls out the cucumber, and proceeds to use it on Nina. Then shows us, she is also a master rider, of a cucumber. And if all this is not strange enough. The assistant walks up again. This leads to Ophelia and Nina tag teaming the vamp, in another bloody sex fest. Bad things happen, and Ophelia runs outside. As she's sitting against the wall, thinking, she hears voices, and everything goes black. And what happens next you ask? Hell if I know that's the end. So there ya have it folks, it's just weird, bizarre sex scene after another, all with a virgin, who seems to be more skilled than a professional porn star. So if that's what ya are looking for, this is it. I read this a a comedy, not sure, what it is meant to be, though. For that it was pretty funny, in a completely unbelievable way. I mean what's not to love about a sex god, virgin. Haha. As to the title, not really sure, other than maybe she was drowning in lust. Who knows. Now would I read the second one, maybe, because I'm very curious as to why she blacked out. And I'm wonder just how completely far fetched this story can go. Thank you to the author for all this craziness, it did keep my attention, even if it was only to find out what was next.
  • Black Heart on June 10, 2013

    Black Heart by Morgan Dreiss I was given this R2R through LibraryThing in exchange for my honest review. This is the story of paras in New York City. They have been known to the public for quite some time, however most still don't accept them. Nasira is a wealthy business owner. She is well educated and very well put together. She is also a vampire. Her girlfriend is Annie. Annie is the complete opposite. She's a mess. She owns a tattoo business. She also sells meth and weed. Her consist weed smoking and drinking cause her to be very short tempered. Not to mention she is a werewolf. Nasira has been on edge with a serial killer in town, picking off female vamps. But when the killer discards a werewolf body, it gets even worse. I liked this story. It was an interesting take on a PNR. The story was well written, and all the loose ends were tied up. I know what happened and what is going to happen, and am not left wondering. It is about time a book is ended properly. Thank you to the author for allowing me to come along on the rescue mission.
  • Lingerie Wars on June 12, 2013

    ★★★★★Lingerie Wars(Inventary, Book 1) by Janet Elizabeth Henson I was given this book as an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion. Sorry, folks, but I'm not given ya, any really goodies, since this book is not due out, til mid June, 2013. I read The Davina Code, by Miss Janet, and laughed my ass off. So, when I was asked, I was completely onboard. Lingerie Wars takes place in the small town of Inventary, in Scotland. This is the home of Miss Kirsty Campbell. She was a famous lingerie model, who lost everything, when her ex-fiancé, ruined her life. Now, trying to rebuild her life, she runs a lingerie store. When in strolls, the enemy, Lake Benson from England. He is ex-S.F. and is used to being in charge. He comes to town to recover his savings, that his sister, Rainn is foolishly flushing down the toilet. To make matter's worse, he realizes he has acquired a personal, evil little hobbit troll, Betty. He soon realizes, the lingerie business, his money was used for, is in far worse shape, than originally thought. And he knows why, the lingerie shop across the street. Could this town, possibly be big enough for two lingerie shops? No! So battle lines are drawn, and war is waged, Scotland vs. England. Let the war, begin. But as the case may be, there is a fine line, between love and war. With the evil hobbit, on Lake's side, trouble is in store. But the same could be said for Kirsty, with Knit or Die, supporting her. So cue the music and "Let the shenanigans begin!" I enjoyed the descriptions of the town, they drew me in, and I felt like I was walking down the cobblestone road. Christmas, in Scotland, seems so pretty. And as it goes in a small town, I now know everyone, and all their corky behaviors. Now, while most of the actions seem outrageous, I grew up in a small town, where I've seen crazier things happen, when a newcomer walks into town. You don't cheese off the locals, and hope like hell, you can get someone, other than the crazy old lady, on your side. Because in a battle of wit, you never know what will happen. I'm looking forward to Book 2. I can't wait to see what kind of antics will happen next, because there is always something going on in a small town. Thanks to the author, for showing me this new town, introducing me to a new group of friends, bringing back crazy small town, childhood memories, and teaching me a few new definitions. ;-)
  • Laura's Big Break on July 07, 2013

    ★★★★★Laura's Big Break by Janet Elizabeth Henderson I was given this R2R in exchange for my honest opinion. So after reading The Davina Code and Lingerie Wars, I wanted more from this author. So when I got a hold of Laura's Big Break I was thrilled. And I was not disappointed. Laura is an aspiring journalist, stuck writing for a teen magazine. When she get's her big break, a position at a woman's magazine. The only problem, she must get an interview with the moron, neanderthal, screw up, Mr. Scared of Commitment, her first, her best friends brother, the cherry popper. Is the job really worth it? Charlie, Doctor Hottie, is the complete opposite of Laura. He is wild, carefree, spontaneous, living his life to the fullest, looking for the next adventure. He has come back a war hero, has gone viral, and is scared of a 5'2 firecracker. She is not afraid to tell him what she thinks, how he needs to be stable, to grow up, and flat out intimidates him. But together they are not oil and vinegar, no they are worse, electricity and water, and someone is getting hurt. So when his evil little plan to keep her away fails, he's stuck bicycling across Holland with her. So let the crazy begin. And in true Ms. Henderson fashion, so creates hysterics, between the wacky characters and situations. The characters are never perfect, which I love. What fun would a character be if nothing ever went wrong. And believe me, they get the fair share of trouble. This was a great, easy read, that keep me laughing throughout. A few spots left me shaking my head at all the crazy. Thanks to the author for sharing the looniest bike ride ever. I had a blast.
  • That One Night in Vegas on July 11, 2013

    That One Night in Vegas by Brindle Chase Everyone knows the saying, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," and that is what this is. When a younger couple have a little extra money to spend, they decide to rekindle their marriage in Vegas. The wife decides to take the husband to a strip club. She tries to by the husband a private dance. But behind closed curtains, anything can happen. This was a quick, straight to the point erotica. There wasn't a bunch of useless page filler, just the nitty gritty. My only issue is where was the condom use with a stripper. They are used in the rest of his books, but for some reason not this one. Pack my bags, I'm going to Vegas.
  • Sometimes You Just Want to F*CK on July 11, 2013

    Sometimes You Just Want to F*ck by Brindle Chase Another straight to the point, short story. And sometimes you do really just want to get off. So she heads to the bar and starts having sex til she can get hers and goes home. Again, no useless page filler, just a to the point erotica. Good girl, you may have been reckless in some eyes, but at least you were safe about it.
  • Are You Game? on July 11, 2013

    ★★★★★Are You Game? by Brindle Chase We too college roommates get comfortable with each other hanging sex while they are in the room, let the games begin. The game, roll three die, 1 location, 1 body part, 1 how. But nobody ever said which sex or partner you had to choose, so we will blame it on college experiments. This is a straight to the point, game of erotica. F/M, F/F, F/F/M, F/M/M
  • Raveled By You (Erotic Romance) - #1 Enflamed Series on July 30, 2013

    Raveled By You by Clarissa Wild (Enflamed Series #1) I was given this R2R in exchange for an honest review. This is an erotica short, coming in around 35 pages. Chloe Young is a 23 year old at the crossroads of life. Her relationship that has about fizzed out. She is not even sure if Ethan still loves her. He stopped showing her affection months ago. She hates her job. It is getting her nowhere in life, other than barely paying the bill. So one day at her favorite coffee shop, she decides to browser the job ads in the paper. While focusing on the ads, she literally runs in to a mysterious man, covering him in her coffee. But unlike Ethan, he is kind and understanding. He even asks her to dinner. Now she's in a dilemma. She says no and goes home to Ethan. She is faithful to him, even if he is distant, and showing signs of abuse. But she can't get this man, Kaito our of her head. He's toying with her, seducing her, and he's not even around. Now the struggle begins. Does she follow her mind, which tells her she has a boyfriend and stick with him? Or does she follow her body and heart? She longs for human touch and her heart needs to feel wanted. I really like this one. It has some saucy erotica scenes. But it also has a nice little back story, that I want to learn more about. We really don't know anything about the characters at this point. I really want to know what Kaito does for a living. Thanks to the author for sharing this "it felt so wrong, but it felt so good" struggle with me.