Clamor Press

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Clamor Press seeks submissions of California fiction and poetry that challenges.

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Dividends
Price: Free! Words: 2,910. Language: Simple English. Published: March 18, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal and Slide slam leather cups on the bar at Murphy's; the game is Liar's Dice. The two clerks on the floor of the California Board Options Exchange are "tuning up" for a run across the Gate to a new massage parlor that options market maker Mack told them about. Of course, every massage at the "Happy Happy" comes with a happy ending!
Belle's Back
Price: Free! Words: 7,790. Language: Simple English. Published: January 27, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal Finagle crashes the Bear Capital Holiday party; there are lipstick lesbians in top hats; a girl popping out of a cake; and between the trail mix, the cocaine, and the whiskey, this ne'er do well will never learn! Warning:Graphic and for Adults only!
Salvation Army
Price: Free! Words: 3,340. Language: Simple English. Published: January 27, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal wakes up in the middle of a bad dream. Even though he's gotten fired, he's still planning on crashing the Bear Capital Holiday party. He needs to make change and reaches into a Salvation Army kettle. He forgets to donate his hundred as he pulls out two twenties and a five. Warning, graphic and for Adults only!
Kalverstaat
Price: Free! Words: 3,170. Language: Simple English. Published: January 23, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Dragon Lady's alone in her office at the California Board Options Exchange and is thinking about getting out her toy; Gentleman Jim calls at the exact wrong time. Warning graphic and for Adults only!
Terminated
Price: Free! Words: 4,930. Language: Simple English. Published: January 22, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Dragon Lady gets called to her boyfriend Gentleman Jim's office, JD is there, and a lady from the HR department of the California Board Options Exchange. The gig is up. After, JD burns the tattoo of the Sphinx from her thigh, Sal calls. He's got an eight ball of blow and it's going to be a "White Christmas!" Warning: Graphic and for Adults only!
White Snake
Price: Free! Words: 2,970. Language: Simple English. Published: January 21, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
A policeman stops by the Rosewater's to ask James Rosewater questions about a charge that the Rosewater's former nanny Antonia has lodged against him of sexual harassment. Karen Rosewater decides to get to the bottom of her husband's shenanigans. Warning graphic and for Adults only!
Bad Trip
Price: Free! Words: 3,020. Language: Simple English. Published: January 20, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal chases after his friend Slide to get his car keys. Slide is too messed up to drive and Sal doesn't want his friend to get hurt. Along the way they pass through Halloween on Haight Street. Witches, foam rubber dicks, Snow White and more!!! Warning graphic and for Adults only!
Tail View
Price: Free! Words: 4,010. Language: Simple English. Published: January 15, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
Sal and Slide leave Fox's party to snort cocaine; there's nothing to chop the drug up on so Sal rips off the tail view mirror from Slide's expensive car's windshield. Slide is not pleased but he still does Sal a carnal favor. Warning: Graphic and for Adults Only!
Show Gurl
Price: Free! Words: 2,890. Language: Simple English. Published: January 12, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal's in trouble again and Gentleman Jim wants him fired. JD and Kudzu are in their bi weekly meeting and lots comes out about what really goes on in the "back office."
$100,000 Dollar Job
Price: Free! Words: 5,980. Language: Simple English. Published: January 6, 2015 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
DC's down size but a clogged computer cache and his favorite lesbian pit boss collude to turn his P and L "cash" positive size by large! Warning Graphic and for Adults Only!
Nine Ball
Price: Free! Words: 6,280. Language: Simple English. Published: December 16, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal's hanging with the troops at the Gold Club; Dragon Lady's upstairs in the Rose Room making out with a stripper. Dodge stops by and the drinks are on him. He's a main purveyor of blow to the club and has "privileges." Warning Graphic and for Adults Only!
Run DMT
Price: Free! Words: 4,240. Language: Simple English. Published: December 11, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Slide goes off to park; Sal's alone at Fox's Halloween party in the Haight. He meets a girl dressed as a bee; they shot gun a pipe full of hash. He sees his friend the bartender at Murphy's Nicole. She wanted to come as "Cat Woman" but she couldn't find her ears so she came dressed as a "slut." Sal meets a dude with an earring; the dude has a pipe full of DMT. Warning: Graphic and for Adults only!
Fox's Tail
Price: Free! Words: 2,180. Language: Simple English. Published: December 2, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Slide gives Sal a ride over to Fox's big Halloween party on Haight Street; Sal goes in first while Slide parks; Sal goes into Fox's bedroom to throw his coat on the bed and gets more than he bargained for! Warning: Graphic and for Adults Only!
Animals
Price: Free! Words: 3,650. Language: Simple English. Published: November 26, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal, Slide, and Tiny go to Vegas for a party to congratulate Gentleman Jim on the conception of the baby in Dragon Lady's belly. Of course, Gentleman Jim isn't invited. Along the way, the three men run into a limo driver with bitter memories of the strife in the former Yugoslavia. The boys' solution...? More drugs! Warning: Graphic for Adults only!
Donkey Show
Price: Free! Words: 3,340. Language: Simple English. Published: November 21, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal and Dragon Lady are hanging out in Dragon Lady's office at the Exchange; he pulls out his bullet filled with cocaine. As the two get high, they talk about her baby to come, a trip Sal took to Mexico where he saw a "donkey show" and how Dragon Lady likes to expose herself to passing cars and bystanders on Montgomery Street from time to time. Warning--graphic and for Adults Only!
Belle's Tail
Price: Free! Words: 6,430. Language: Simple English. Published: November 3, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal and Belle go across the street to a motel from the Spearmint Rhino to party. He decides to buy a cigar. The cigar is a large "Churchill." He finds out Belle's real name. He finds out that the stripper has a son. She tells him about the porn on Channel 8. He turns the TV on but then decides to turn it off! Warning: Graphic and for Adults only!
Dough Nuts
Price: Free! Words: 6,790. Language: Simple English. Published: October 10, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Dragon Lady dolls herself up for the SEC's visit to the trading floor of the California Board Options Exchange (CBOE.) The tour is going well until Sal ruins everything with a box of Krispy Kremes! Warning: Graphic and for Adults Only!
Gurl Talk
Price: Free! Words: 7,710. Language: Simple English. Published: September 24, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Dragon Lady needs a Daddy for her baby and Gentleman Jim is balking at taking a paternity test. Dragon Lady calls his pregnant wife to let her know that her husband has another bun in the oven in another woman's belly! Karen's upset and then takes matters into her own hands. More sexy shenanigans at the California Board Options Exchange! Warning: Graphic and For Adults Only!
Old Skooled
Price: Free! Words: 5,520. Language: Simple English. Published: September 12, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Gentleman Jim desires to join "The Inner Sanctum;" "The Wizard" demands that he prove himself. With a digital camcorder, wire cutters, and a dress, Gentleman Jim, Floor Governor of the California Board Options Exchange and Chairman of the Ethics and Business Conduct Committee sets off on foot to Mills College, an all-girls institution in the Oakland Hills. Warning--graphic and for Adults Only!
Market Crush
Price: Free! Words: 6,140. Language: Simple English. Published: September 5, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal needs to deliver a "Get Well" card to Slide; along the way, he stops at the Market Street Cinema with Mack, and Mack's new clerk CAR. The three men get a vivid demonstration as to the laws of supply and demand. Warning--graphic and for adults only!
Daddy Cruelest
Price: Free! Words: 2,560. Language: Simple English. Published: August 27, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
It's 4 am and DC's late for work; Europe's in a tail spin and Asia closed down hard. But before he can drive to the trading floor of the California Board Options Exchange (CBOE) and start hedging a bad overnight position, he has to drop his son off at his son's grandmother's house. Life isn't easy for a single dad! Warning graphic and for adults only!
Fat Stack
Price: Free! Words: 7,450. Language: Simple English. Published: August 21, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
(3.00)
Sal, Slide, and Tiny take a road trip from the options floor of the California Board Options Exchange (CBOE) to visit Las Vegas's famous gentleman's club "Spearmint Rhino." It's a party to congratulate Gentleman Jim without him! Sal's zooming on ecstasy and runs into Belle, a redhead who knows what she wants. She invites him across the street to play. Warning: graphic and for adults only!
Bathtub Jim
Price: Free! Words: 3,770. Language: Simple English. Published: August 15, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
(1.50)
Gentleman Jim's trading from home and his wife Karen has warned him not to distract Antonia, their housekeeper. James Rosewater, Floor Governor of the California Board Options Exchange and Senior Managing Partner of Bear Capital swears that he won't but has a hard time keeping his word. Warning: graphic and for adults only!
Lap Dance
Price: Free! Words: 6,870. Language: Simple English. Published: August 8, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Sal and Dragon Lady share a stall in the men's room at the Gold Club. After they get high, they head back upstairs to join the rest of the partying crew from the California Board Options Exchange (CBOE). There, Dragon Lady meets Angelica and the two women soon head to a more private lounge for a more intimate experience. Warning: Graphic and for Adults Only!
Big Ben
Price: Free! Words: 3,930. Language: Simple English. Published: August 4, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Gentleman Jim, Senior Managing Partner of Bear Capital and a Governor of the California Board Options Exchange (CBOE), is late for his meeting with Dragon Lady; he swears that it's his expensive "skeleton" watch's fault; she thinks otherwise. In the course of their meeting, she reveals to him shocking news. Warning: graphic and for adults only!
Menthol
Price: Free! Words: 8,170. Language: Simple English. Published: July 26, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
On their way to the new massage parlor in Marin that Mack, a market maker in the DGN pit, told them about, options floor clerks Sal and Slide stop at Slide's parent's house. Slide's kid sister is going to her prom and wants to buy some blow. Warning: graphic and for adults only!
Road Kill
Price: Free! Words: 6,400. Language: Simple English. Published: July 23, 2014 by Clamor Press. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Two clerks Sal and Slide, from the options floor of the California Board Options Exchange (CBOE) head over the Gate in Sal's BMW to check out a new massage parlor that Mack, an options market maker in the DGN pit, told Sal about. They run over something along the way. Warning, graphic and for adults only!


Clamor Press' tag cloud

adultery    aex    amsterdam    amsterdam options exchange    backdoor    bear capital    bear capital holiday party    big bad wolf    big ben    bill clinton    blow    blow job    blow jobs    california board option exchange    california board options exchange    calls and puts    canadian club    cboe    churchills    cigarettes    cigars    coast capital    cocaine    coitus    custody    darts    death    deep puts    deltas    dick    dividends    dmt    donkey show    doughnuts    down size    dungeness crab    ecstacy    error account    exchange governor    exhibitionism    fanny mae    fat girl    flower lady    foreclosure    gack    gamma    getting high    gold club    golf tournament    governor of the exchange    gun    halloween    harassment    head    heineken    heroin    hippie protestors    holiday party    jack daniels    kevin bacon    lap dance    lesbians    lipstick lesbians    market street cinema    menthol    metallica    mills building    molly    naughty nurses    nine sphincter    options    options floor    pacific coast stock and options exchange    pacific coast stock exchange    pacific coast stock exhange    paramedics    peeping    pit boss    police    pornography    pregnant women    pussy    quicksilver    rch    rubber duck    run dmc    russ building    securities and exchange commission    senior managing partner    serbia    sex show    shot gunning    skank    skeleton watch    sluts    snow white    spus    stabbing a whale with a toothpick    steel wool    strip club    strippers    stuffed animals    telephoto lens    terminated    trail mix    vibrator    vodka    wet t shirt contest    whipped cream    white snake    wife    yoga pants   

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Smashwords book reviews by Clamor Press

  • The Head in the Vat, and other stories on July 16, 2013

    As much as I appreciate the technical virtuosity of today's school of minimalist fiction, sometimes it reminds me of squinting through a kaleidoscope that only shows black and white or straining to hear the tiny tinny voice of a phonograph needle as it spirals the grooves of a record with the amplification turned off...and yet, compared to the chatty deluge mistaken for honesty in many of today's other stories, minimalist fiction can also be good cool like the first stirrings of leaves come evening's breeze after a long, hot, and sweat soaked afternoon. Pete Edmund's "The Head in the Vat, and other stories" is neither and both. This book is way good and blistering hot...like a lung splitting hit off a glass pipe chock full of meth. The title story "The Head in the Vat" is a masterpiece and if J.D. Salinger had gotten caught in the drug and drink infested hell that can be San Francisco's North Beach strip club scene instead of the idylls of the New England countryside, this is a story he might have written. All the stories hold their own as they spit and spark from rehab to a cardboard box in a park to the glamor girls as they strut their flesh and bare their glistens at the Club. And the tangles of smoke that twist as they lift from the ever lit pipe contain not just Salinger but also notes of Raymond Carver and Elmore Leonard. Pete Edmund--welcome to the pantheon! Everyone else--buy this book now!