I am Juan Carlos. All my life, I wanted to meet a gringo woman. So come to USA, I find a ho on backpage, I learn what is 'airtight'. Then I meet 18-year-old who wants to play 'daddy'. Then her mom caught me and punished me with a candle and electric toothbrush. Then Maximus the dog rescued me. I go back to Mehico. Later I find out these chicks got pregnant. Next time I come to USA I bring condom.