Claire Monday


I just love erotic literature. It's my thing. Watching is alright but reading good erotic literature is my thing. Well maybe watching real people screwing but that’s harder to come by, isn't it. In literature, there's a thin line between 'erotic' and 'porn', and sometimes, like the naughty girl I am, I cross it. But what the hell, why not? It's fun!

It took me a long time to find it though. I used to write marketing manuals, sales literature and stuff and it was just soooo boring. I mean, mind numbingly boring. Really, who wants to read that on the morning commute when they could be reading filth? So, one day, I decided to go to a literary festival and as I looked through the list of courses and events, one of them took my eye. 'How to write erotic literature'. Bingo. And I've never looked back.

And I like it. I find it easy to do because I have a wicked and filthy, fertile mind. And my sex drive is enormous. So why not let yourself go and enjoy it?

Mel and Trisha are two girls who live in my head. They are an accumulation of people I've met, things I've seen and stuff I've done throughout my life. Dirty? You Betcha! I sleep with them every night. I screw with them, talk to them - I invented them. I've set them to live in the north of England. They're clever, bored and they love screwing.

So enjoy my Mel and Trisha stories. They're fun, rude and sexy.

Love to all
Claire x

Smashwords Interview

What are you working on next?
More Mel and Trisha stories! These girls have so many stories to tell. In a way, they live like a dirty version of the Simpsons. They never get any older but it's a different story every time.
Mel and Trisha are how we would all like to be, if we had the nerve. They screw around and they enjoy it. They are not the kind of girls you could take home to meet your Mum and Dad though! But they will give you the night of your life.

I go to bed with them. I sleep with them. I screw with them and then I write it all down for you to enjoy.
Who are your favorite authors?
Classical types. I don't actually read porn or erotica because most of it is very poor quality literature. Typically, the authors only have one story to tell and it's all done in the first person and in the past tense. 'Then I did this, then she did that', kind of stuff. And they like to set it in odd places like prisons, doctors surgery's or the plumber is coming 'round again. The classic? My friends mother. It becomes too predictable and for me, that makes it boring.

I like to write proper stories. Real stories about real people. I also like to play around with points of view and watching it happen as a narrator. I want you, as the reader, to be there and to feel it happening to you.

So who are my favourite authors? At the minute, I am re-reading Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell, who was a brilliant writer. Ready to go is anything by Anton Chekov because he was a master of the art; Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert; Ulysses by James Joyce and who else? Game of Thrones (A story of fire and ice, to give it its real name) by George RR Martin because the way he builds his characters (I still prefer building people!) is astonishingly good. A modern classic.

My secret author? Eddie Braben. He wrote the classic Morecambe and Wise scripts. Not only are they hilariously funny but they work because they are right. So I let him influence me too.
Read more of this interview.


Mel and Trisha - Blowjobs
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 19,620. Language: British English. Published: May 15, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
Mel and Trisha are two very British girls. In this short, erotic story, our girls are off to explore the world of blow jobs. Those of you who follow the lives of Mel and Trisha with regularity will already know that most of their escapades end in disaster. In this story, Mel will fulfil a very naughty fantasy and Trisha is going to learn that being a dominatrix can be quite good fun.

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