Elias Zapple

Biography

Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love be a Stranger', which was an international flop.

After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep where he was then inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.

Later, he travelled back in time to the present and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and spoke to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.

Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swam off into the sunset, only once being bitten by an unfriendly shark.

Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.

Smashwords Interview

What do your fans mean to you?
Money. Unfortunately, my book is free so that doesn't apply. I shall now retire to my greenhouse and sob for a few days.
What are you working on next?
My memoirs. However, I suffer from amnesia so this is proving to be a rather difficult task. Therefore I have decided to work on the third book of children's series the Jellybean the Dragon Stories. All my other works, Elias Zapple's Rhymes from the Cabbage Patch, Elias Zapple's Book of Slugs, Duke & Michel: The Mysterious Corridor, Duke & Michel: The King Tingaling Painting, Jellybean the Dragon, Cyril the Dragon, Nicu - The Littlest in 'Fangless', Nicu - The Littlest Vampire in 'Big Fangs' and Nicu - The Littlest Vampire in 'Blood, Blood Everywhere' are all currently available. The third Duke & Michel book, Duke & Michel: The Return of the Nibbles should be released by the end of February. The third Jellybean the Dragon Stories book, Fillmore the Dragon, shall be written once it's gotten over its shyness and venture out of my brain.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Elias Zapple online


Books

Nicu - The Littlest Vampire in 'Fangless'
Price: Free! Words: 6,550. Language: British English. Published: December 24, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Social Issues / Bullying, Fiction » Children’s books » Monsters
(5.00)
In a spooky house deep in the mountains of Transylvania lives Nicu, a fangless vampire. Yes, that's right, fangless! Teased by his friends, taunted by his big brother and almost disowned by his parents, Nicu will do anything he can to get his fangs and beat the bullies.

Elias Zapple's tag cloud


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