Jamie Brindle


I'm just your average run-of-the-mill guy, I suppose. I get my kicks by targeting a stranger randomly from a phone book, stalking them, and assimilating everything they do and think into my personality. Such projects are time-consuming, of course, and I have often spent entire years on single "clients" (as I call them). I am never violent towards my clients; indeed, I often buy them flowers and pleasant things to eat. If things go well, then I eventually end up being able to think what my current client is thinking before they do. This brings me to the crux of the exercise, which is the habit I have of following my client wherever they go and shouting out their thoughts in the third person at the exact moment they think them. Of course, this is very disconcerting to my clients, and they frequently become delusional and need psychiatric help of some kind.
Physically I am nothing special, either: I stand a little over seven feet tall, a fiery mane of red hair obscuring the more delicate of my facial features, my single remaining arm twitching constantly at my side as a result of nerve damage during early childhood. I am broad shouldered and immensely fat in the stomach, weighing somewhere in the region of twenty-two stone. I am followed everywhere I go by my faithful mouse, Lenin, who is my best friend in the whole of existence, my one, my all, my everything, silver-furred and wet-nosed, we share many intimacies that this world would perhaps frown on.
I spend my days working in the local fish farm, where I teach baby fishlings how to swim. My nights are occupied with my military studies and my overiding passion for disco.
On the rare occasions when these exhausting pursuits leave me any free time, I like to spend it in the writing of fiction, examples of which you can find here on Smashwords. In theory, I have at least seven full-blown novels in the work; the optimist in me declaims loudly that at least one will be finished by the time the Internet is superseded.

Where to find Jamie Brindle online

Facebook: Facebook profile

Where to buy in print


Small Mistakes
Price: Free! Words: 20,540. Language: English. Published: August 15, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Horror, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
After sleeping with the strange girl no-one liked, Harry thought his main problem would be how to avoid her...Saanjh's mistake wasn't agreeing to carry the bomb, it was the other group who wanted the plane...Alice knew what the silver-haired man was offering her, but she didn't know the price...Four short horror stories of the mistakes we make and the places they can take us.
The Other Option
Price: Free! Words: 6,580. Language: English. Published: August 8, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Quince took pride in his job. He was the guy who stood three paces before the cradle and handed out the lives to Poor Souls. In the empty, white land before existence, this made him something of a big deal...until a newer, more popular, more competitive option came along... Now Quince is out of business, and running out of time... Sequel to The Big Deal.
Second Chances
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 55,340. Language: English. Published: August 8, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories, Fiction » Horror » General
A salesman who sells lives to disembodied souls; a ghost in the machine and the man he used to be; a boy who rubs noses with aliens and hamsters, and finds out which is truly the more deadly species. All these and more can be found in this compilation, which features 8 tales of dark fantasy, science fiction, and horror. Please note that some stories have adult content.
The Big Deal
Price: Free! Words: 5,580. Language: English. Published: August 5, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
We have all met Quince before. Some of us just don't remember. A story of life, growth, and salesmanship set against the backdrop of the almost-utter void that exists the width of a shadow before this life began. Also featuring some Poor Souls, an odd place to put a fish, and a pair of truly magnificent shoes.

Jamie Brindle's tag cloud

comedy    fantasy    folk tale    ghost    grusem    horror    humour    science fiction    short story    spiritual    spirtual    unsettling   

Jamie Brindle's favorite authors on Smashwords

Smashwords book reviews by Jamie Brindle

  • Unawares on Aug. 11, 2012

    Nice idea for a story. Prose was fairly crisp and clear, and there was some good, understated irony. Would have given it four stars, but I think the story could be improved by a careful comb for little typos (we're all guilty of that though, right? I know I am! ;-) ). Worth reading.
  • A Bald Hair Day on Aug. 11, 2012

    Made me chuckle. I especially liked the retorts to children who attempt to bully the author. In fact, perhaps a book of these could be forthcoming? Worth my time, and I'm not even bald (yet).
  • Green, a short story on Aug. 11, 2012

    Intelligently written story with some interesting ideas, though some people may find there is not enough action to suit their tastes. (If you like your science fiction chock to the brim with hi power photon mega-missiles and transgalactic snarf monsters from the planet Znarg, this might not quite be your cup of tea!). The central idea is strong enough to hook the reader in, and there's some nice musings on class and race and power. Not a masterpiece, but not a waste of my time, either!