John Porter

Biography

John Porter spent his childhood growing up amongst the fruit orchards of North Kent, and after leaving grammar school, gained his horticultural qualifications at Hadlow College near the historic spa town of Tunbridge Wells. He migrated to Australia at the age of nineteen, with his first wife, in 1980.

Although deriving his main income over the years from employment in the plant industry and from his own wholesale and retail nurseries, John has always maintained the keen interest in words and storytelling that was first fired up by his father’s vast collection of books, and an enigmatic and inspirational English teacher at Queen Elizabeth’s Grammar School, Faversham.

John has written for many local organisations and groups in his native England, as well as preparing a number of public documents for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament in the 1980’s. He has contributed many poems and short stories to various publications in England and Australia over the years, including meditations for The Upper Room – an international, non-denominational Christian booklet.

The self-published autobiography, "The Road Less Travelled" (2008), was John’s first major book, and describes in fascinating detail the journey he took over three continents during his first fifty years. It is now available from Smashwords and includes many personal photographs of his journey through his first half-century. Since then he has also self-published an anthology of poems entitled "Out Of My Head", and an account of a whirlwind seven-day visit to the UK, called "Turning The Page", which humorously describes the brushes he experienced with the history, geography and sociology of his original homeland. "The Collector" is John’s first full-length novel, and will be released later in 2013. He has published a series of ten short stories with the theme of 'Dirt', which are gathered in a compilation entitled "A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories" which is available at Smashwords. A companion volume called "The Cutest Little Animal Horror Stories", published earlier has already proved very popular with readers.

The author now lives and writes in a garden centre in rural New South Wales, Australia, which he runs and owns with his present wife, drawing inspiration for his books from the Australian bush, the daily customers, and the host of chickens, birds, dogs, cats, rabbits and guineapigs which are bred on the premises, as well as his own lunacy.

Where to buy in print


Books

The Old Bloke
Price: Free! Words: 1,450. Language: English. Published: March 15, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
An age old tale with a new twist. Simple and humorous, this short story has stood the test of time! One of a series of ten tales from a compilation entitled A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories. A companion volume called The Cutest Little Animal Horror Stories is also available. It will definately make you smile!
Ebb And Flow
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 4,940. Language: English. Published: March 15, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Themes & motifs » Family sagas, Fiction » Historical » Australia & New Zealand
Two centuries of one of Australia's founding families unfold as generations are shaped and moulded by historic events, relationships, and the grand and majestic sweep of the Hawkesbury River. One in a series of ten short stories published in a compilation entitled A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
Dirty Business
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,590. Language: English. Published: March 15, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Themes & motifs » Crime, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Legal
Drug dealing can be dangerous. Other dealer... police investigations... self indulgence. Those are just the more glamorous hazards. But the insidious threats of greed and arrogance can do far more harm in the end, as one grower/dealer discovers. One in a series of stories from a compilation entitled A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
Dust Cloud
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,550. Language: English. Published: March 15, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Cultural & ethnic themes » Cultural interest, general, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Spiritual & metaphysical
The stories of Australia's Aborigines date back thousands of years to the great Dreamtime, but still they impact on the people and the land of today. This tale describes how the ancient tales affect a series of events over several days as a violent windstorm sweeps New South Wales. One of a compilation of short stories called A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
Digging Up The Dirt
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 11,550. Language: English. Published: March 15, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
All small towns thrive on gossip. It's not what happens that matters but what's said about it. A clergyman visiting a crazy old lady soon finds that tittle-tattle can be socially harmful, as well as confusing, and quite dangerous to his own health. One of ten stories in a compilation called A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
Perfect Soldiers
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,790. Language: English. Published: March 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Themes & motifs » Political, Fiction » Adventure » General
A young boy grows to adulthood watching the horrors of the Pol Pot regime destroy Cambodia. One in a series of ten stories in the compilation A Collection of Dirty Little Stories.
Blind Freddy
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 2,890. Language: English. Published: March 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
For a visually impared man living alone, it's imperitive to maintain a strict set of systems. Even things which to sighted people would be disasterous can be dealt with comfortably, as long as the systems are adhered to... One in a series of ten stories from the compilation A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
Natural Justice
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,800. Language: English. Published: March 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Themes & motifs » Medical, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Crime
Dirty dealings in a country hospital lead to an unexpectedly natural punishment for the perpetrator. One in a series of ten short stories in the compilation entitled A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
A Tall Story
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 3,200. Language: English. Published: March 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
We all know a few braggarts. People who would have to be 150 years old to have fitted everything into their lives that they boast about. But what if they were telling the truth? Some surprises are in store for the owner of a small hardware shop as he finds out some unexpected facts about one of his customers. One in a series of ten stories published as A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories.
A Collection Of Dirty Little Stories
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 49,340. Language: English. Published: March 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Family sagas
No erotica in this collection, despite the title! Just tales of people getting filthy mad at each other, commiting dirty deeds out of greed, lust or jealousy, and generally a whole swag of grubby goings-on. Some are filled with wry humour, others will make you laugh out loud, and some are filled with pathos. Adventure, mystery, smiles and history, there's something for everyone in this collection!
Turning The Page: Another Place, Another Time
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 64,390. Language: English. Published: February 29, 2012. Categories: Nonfiction » Travel » By region, Nonfiction » Travel » Trip Journals
A travelogue with a difference. The account of a brief trip to the author's home country of England, with often very humorous and poignant comments about the history, geography and sociology. Includes a touching account of a Scottish family wedding, and numerous amusing anecdotes, as well as observations of the English at work and play. Short, snappy, and well worth a look! Illustrated.
The Book Of Nothing
Price: Free! Words: 2,980. Language: English. Published: February 27, 2012. Categories: Nonfiction » Publishing » Self-publishing, Nonfiction » Inspiration » General self-help
An inspirational book for budding authors who have yet to let their fingers fly across the keyboard, or dip plume into ink, but yet who have a burning desire to turn their thoughts into words and influence the world. Voids allow potent creative urges to spring from the fertile minds of his readers, but there's some genuinely useful advice too, with a few examples of some great published works.
Building A Paper Copy Of Your Book At Home
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,470. Language: English. Published: February 26, 2012. Categories: Nonfiction » Publishing » Self-publishing, Nonfiction » Reference » Publishing and books
A detailed guide from go to woe which describes in step-by-step detail exactly how to print and bind your own book at home, achieving a professional finish, but using only low-cost items. The construction of a simple, but efficient book-binding press is described, and various pitfalls are mentioned. A must for anyone with a book for limited publication to friends and relatives. Well illustrated.
One Vision, Ten Meditations, Half A Dozen Angels
Price: Free! Words: 16,280. Language: English. Published: February 25, 2012. Categories: Nonfiction » Inspiration » Meditation, Nonfiction » Inspiration » Spiritual inspiration
A Christian meditational guide containing true stories of encounters with everyday angels, thoughts on the nature of God, and a description of a vision of Christ. Humorous in places, and useful for new Christians, seekers, small home church groups and bible study.
All I Want For Christmas
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,780. Language: English. Published: January 26, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Family sagas
Christmas - a time for kids to have fun, open presents, play with their friends, and eat too much. A time too, for parents to pretend that gifts their children wrapped with sticky, grubby hands are exactly what Mummy and Daddy wanted. It's also a time to consider those less fortunate, and when June decides to give old Mr Blake a gift and a food hamper, things in her household go from bad to worse.
Mouse Wheel Event
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,120. Language: English. Published: January 26, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » General
Vengeance is not a desire restricted only to the human species. And the David and Goliath story is one which is acted out by creatures other than ourselves too. It's more common than you might think for a very small animal to set out bravely to right a terrible wrong. Preparation and is essential before embarking on such a quest, but even with the best planning, outcomes can vary considerably...
Computer Bug
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,470. Language: English. Published: January 25, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Fiction » Horror » General
The date is 2280 and the world is very different. Virtual reality has replaced much of the actual world and many of the planet's inhabitents are no longer even made of flesh and bone. But children are still children; they still crave new toys, they still deceive their parents, and they can still be very cruel. In a future where not everything is as it seems, pain and torture remain real enough...
Final Season
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 12,520. Language: English. Published: January 25, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Occult, Fiction » Historical » Ancient
As the Western World reached out to investigate long dead civilisations, no-one believed the past was anything other than tomb murals, decayed fabrics, old bones, and perhaps some golden treasure to provide the archaeologists with a little profit. But words have a way of hanging in the air... protective incantations spoken long ago were meant to be eternal by those who expected immortality...
The Frog Prince
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,440. Language: English. Published: January 25, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
The world in which we live is permanently poised between a series of extremes; up and down, dark and light, yin and yang... life and death. In fact the very fabric of what we experience teeters constantly on the knife edge that separates reality from fantasy.If a fantasy contains enough truth, the resulting confusion can sometimes even prove fatal...
Three For One
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,030. Language: English. Published: January 25, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Romance » General
Two females each competing for the same male... a recipe for heartache and horror. Perhaps this story was drawn from something I overheard many years ago, or maybe something I read about or dreamed of when I was younger. If you find that it rings a bell… schh… don’t let the cat out of the bag… This is one in a series of ten short stories by the same author.
Behind The Skirting Board
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 10,880. Language: English. Published: January 25, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Undead
For a young couple moving ahead into an exciting new stage of life, everything is an exciting challenge... a journey together through the shared adventures of renovating an old house, starting a new business, and keeping a most extraordinary new pet. But life can be unpredictable, and insufficient attention to detail can sometimes be a very dangerous thing...
The Last Walk
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 5,270. Language: English. Published: January 24, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
There are a number of things which almost all human beings that have walked on this planet have had in common. Down through the ages men, woman, and children have felt the torment of unknown fears, the love of faithful animals and the joy of laughter and fun. For one old Irish fisherman, the laughter ends abruptly when he finds that the difference between heaven and hell is just one wag of a tail.
The Drylanders
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,040. Language: English. Published: January 24, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Horror » Ghost
With utter certainty each creature has, at some point, needed to confront the mystery, pain and anguish of their own death, and possibly that of others too, sometimes welcomed, often not. And as far as we who remain tied to our mortal bodies know, many have also experienced the surprises the afterlife brings too. This fish just craves interaction with anyone, living or dead, to break the monotony.
Like A Dog With A Bone
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 5,970. Language: English. Published: January 24, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
All puppies are loved... until they grow old and lose their teeth... start to smell... then they're replaced by a newer model and left to live out their last years in a world of their own. Unless they're lucky enough to have a hobby. The luckiest old dogs have hobbies they can take with them... beyond the grave.
The Cutest Little Animal Horror Stories
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 54,200. Language: English. Published: January 22, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
Cuddly puppies and faithful old dogs, thoughtful mice, a doddery tortoise, and a charming frog inhabit these pages. Loving cats, and a fish that simply craves interaction with anyone and everyone... they all await your attention. There's a wag of the tail, a purr, and a welcome from each of the critters documented here... they're waiting for you. Don't dissapoint them or there'll be Hell to pay!

John Porter's tag cloud

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John Porter's favorite authors on Smashwords


Smashwords book reviews by John Porter

  • How to write INTERESTING Family Histories on Nov. 16, 2012
    (no rating)
    Thank you Ms Baxter for such an informative book. Having written novels and short stories for several years, giving an account of my Great Aunt's life (born 1888 and lived to be 104 years old!) proved to be much more tricky than expected. Already I have found your book's advice invaluable in researching her personal history, and perhaps even more importantly showing me how to create order out of chaos, then (as the title suggests) make it INTERESTING! It's no longer a series of disjoined facts, but is starting to develope a real narrative, and I feel far more confidant that the final result will be of interest as an absorbing story and historical account instead of just a series of facts which only family members would be interested in. You have broadened my horizons, and I feel sure my readership too! I will be sure to send you a copy upon its completion. Thank you again. Best wishes, John Porter.