People talk about coming out of the closet, but I literally emerged from a pill box to write this book. In deep despair, with a daily regimen of a dozen pills to combat psychiatric, psychosomatic and age-related conditions, a glimmer of insight led to my first poem, "The Pill Box." I realized that the drugs were suppressing my poetry and the natural rhythm of my daily life.
Women performing domestic tasks seemed to have the energetic rhythm of a healthy mind that looks positively to the chores ahead, whereas I was always full of dread. When I dispensed with the pill box and replaced it with daily sport, healthy nutrition and poetry, I finally found my rhythm in the juxtaposition of domestic activity and creative endeavour. For me, the one generates energy for the other. Finally, in my sixties, I reclaimed glowing health, joy and clarity and published four books of poetry. With this book, 'I Missed the Spring,' I am finally telling the story I have always wanted to share.
I was born in London in 1947 into an artistic family. My father was a violinist, my paternal grandfather an artist and my maternal grandmother an opera singer. For many years, due to my mood disorder, I had no interest in music, though it was a part of my early years. Recently, I have begun to sing and to play the harp. Enjoying a talent for languages, one of my great joys is translating my poems into other tongues.
In 1967 I came to Israel where I met my husband. It took us many years to realise that separation from my parents at an early age, was at the root of my mental illness, a situation which was perpetuated by my settling, far from them in another country.
I have been to the other side, peered into the pit of insanity and seen the vacant eyes staring out of the inferno of the mind. I have plumbed the abyss of despair then scaled grassy heights and, for a few precious moments, held the key to the universe.
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I Missed the Spring
By Katherine Rubin
Published: August 17, 2013.
Kaila’s life is transformed by a mood disorder after her wedding to David. She awakens on her bridal bed proclaiming she has conceived the Child of Peace that she is a prophet and privy to the reality of Universal Peace. After months in a psychiatric hospital suffering from extreme mood swings. For twenty-five years, medications dull her mind Then, miraculously, Kaila experiences a reawakening...
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