Michelle B

Biography

I am a widow and I live in Louisiana with one child and a cat. I like to read funny stuff. My friends tell me I have a weird sense of humor.

Books

This member has not published any books.

Michelle B's favorite authors on Smashwords

Smashwords book reviews by Michelle B

  • Better on Oct. 03, 2015

    The story reminded me a lot of myself. Except for the part about being rich.
  • Seance Club on Oct. 03, 2015

    This was a quick read. It was allright but it lacked something. Sorry, that's just my impression.
  • Gluttony: A Seven Deadly Sins Short Story on Oct. 03, 2015

    A quick read. The story is under-developed. It would be better if expanded.
  • The Nether Mind: 33 Flash Fiction Stories on Oct. 07, 2015

    Some of the stories are good while others fall short. A few of them are too long to qualify as flash fiction. Some are too short and feel more like intros or outlines. But overall it is a good and quick read.
  • 150 Ways to Live Simply and Happily on Oct. 10, 2015

    Simple points about living simply. Some are too simple. Lots of "do this" but no "how" to do it.
  • No Man to Trifle With on Nov. 11, 2015

    I read some Breckenridge Elkins stories and the author does capture the style effectively. That said, I read the story 3 times and still don't understand what the joke or payoff is supposed to be. Maybe it's something subtle and I'm not catching it.
  • Law Of Attraction The Shoking Truth on Nov. 20, 2015

    The "shoking" truth ? "Doesn T" ?
  • Dead Man's Curve on Nov. 22, 2015

    "Greg, Billy and Bobby were a wild bunch when they are together..." My grammar teacher just rolled over in her grave.
  • Arsenic and Old Lace on Nov. 22, 2015

    Honestly, with a little editing and trimming, this could be a good story. But stuff like "them both" needs to go.
  • A Grave Mistake on Nov. 22, 2015

    "an old abandoned cemetery" Most abandoned cemeteries are old. You seldom find new ones.
  • SALAMICHICKENCARMEATRAVIOLIVOMITARMY on Jan. 18, 2016

    You are a young writer and I encourage you to keep at it. However your spelling and grammar need a LOT of work. Capitalization, contractions, quotes and all that stuff is important if you want to capture an audience.
  • The Death Of The Motherless Kitten on Feb. 25, 2016

    I don't know how this won an award. The narrator is an irresponsible jerk!
  • Will You Sing Fredric? on Aug. 11, 2016

    Interesting.
  • The Moneylender Of Levantine on Aug. 11, 2016

    A strange story, but a good one.
  • The Outrageous Obnubilation of Oscar Oaks Objectification of Orbs on Aug. 11, 2016

    The ending 'leaves' me breathless.
  • A New Discovery on Sep. 25, 2016

    Better go back and fix the opening sentence. Otherwise story is ok.
  • Short Instances of Death on Sep. 25, 2016

    Definitely not for the 'week' hearted.
  • A life with no Light and Other Stories on Oct. 09, 2016

    Not bad.
  • A Quick Sketch Fetch (A Poetry Stretch) on Oct. 16, 2016

    I'm sorry but I don't see any "poetry" in this. It's just a lot of rhyming with no direction or purpose. I find this in all of your postings. Good poetry is where you do not notice the rhyming. With your "poems" that is the only thing you notice. This is not to say you don't have potential, but you should first focus on an idea that makes sense. Once you have an idea, then try to rhyme it to a pattern that flows naturally and does not distract.
  • Wolf & Girl on Oct. 29, 2016

    "Ant this wolf was all alone" "deep under the covers at nigh." Alex, your story is good but PLEASE go back and correct your spelling!
  • Mistakes, Mistakes, Mistakes on Nov. 12, 2016

    You need to revisit your first grade English class and lean how to make paragraphs. This reads like one big run-on sentence. Also you have spelling errors. The spell check feature in Word is highly recommended.
  • Dear Reader on Feb. 06, 2017

    Kind of cute and whimsical, but much too short to qualify as a story.
  • Secrets to Attaining College Success, 2nd Ed. on Feb. 06, 2017

    A bit of practical commonsense advice. My own take on college success would be to study hard and stay sober. Unless you're the privileged son of some frat alum. Then it won't matter what you do because daddy's friends will have you set for life. (A cynical look back at my own college days.)
  • The Counterfeit Lighthouse on Feb. 08, 2017

    Oh my. When I first glimpsed the title I thought this might be a biography of that wack-job Richard Lighthouse who posts his paranoid conspiracy theories on this site. Thankfully that was not the case. Instead I got a very entertaining story of a girl seeking clues to her past, a well-told espionage thriller with touches of pathos and longing that concludes with just the right note of danger to make me want more. Thank you, Lisa, for posting this wonderful tale.
  • Plane Crash Part-II on Feb. 08, 2017

    Very captivating tale. And such a sad ending. But please don't leave us hanging as to the fate of the baby girl. You simply must post Part 3 and let us know what happens.
  • A Bag of Currency on Feb. 11, 2017

    Very good. More like a comedy of errors.
  • Superkid on Feb. 14, 2017

    I liked this.
  • Superkid and the Vampire's Revenge on Feb. 14, 2017

    I liked this also. Superhero humor always hits the spot with me.
  • The Story of Tortoise and Lion on Feb. 18, 2017
    (no rating)
    You have an error in the first sentence.
  • Incident In Rhodes on Feb. 18, 2017

    The story has a great many grammar and punctuation errors. It's not a "fair play" mystery in that no real clues are given and the sleuth doesn't deduce or solve anything but places herself in harm's way hoping things will resolve themselves. An interesting story, and well thought out, but not effectively executed.
  • How to Argue with Right-Wingers: A Winning Strategy to Dealing With the Other Side on May 08, 2017

    I'll say first that I downloaded the author's guitar book and I plan on studying it and learning to be a better musician than I am now. As to this one, it opens with the line: "This mini-book is for smart people who want to the ability to not only tolerate, but discuss deeply with those who hold radically different views." I do hope that is true and that many people read this because in so many cases the "left-wingers" with whom I have tried to have discussions have proven to be rude and intolerant of any opinion that differs from their own. It's possible I've just run into the "wrong" side of the party but my experiences in the last 20 or more years have not been pleasant. The author further states: "Conservatives are, however, often characterized as anti-evolution [2], anti-global warming [3], anti-abortion [4], anti-social security [5], anti-universal health care [6], anti-immigrant [7], and just plain bad people [8]." Again it is a shame this attitude exists since I am none of those things. Granted if you lump everyone into a single pot and use clowns like Shawn Hannity as your role model then you will come away with a bad opinion. What I'm trying to say is that you can find intolerant a-holes on both sides and when you encounter those people the best advice is to walk away and leave them to their delusions since you will never change their minds anyway. The book is good and it makes some fine points. I only hope its readers will keep in mind that the door swings both ways and that "arguments" get you nowhere, while "polite dialogues" although they may not convince will at least earn you a bit of grudging respect.
  • 17+ on May 19, 2017

    I've seen the Robin Tunney film referenced in the story and although memory is dim I don't see the connection. Nor do I see where watching the film with her parents would have made any difference. But I'm an old woman and maybe it's over my head. Still it's an interesting tale so 4 stars.
  • Telepathy: An Essay on May 20, 2017

    No disrespect intended but why if telepathy does exist should you need to write a book about it. Why not beam it directly into my head and be done with it?
  • Healthcare In America - Where Do I Begin? on May 24, 2017

    If there's a point here it went over my head.
  • Falsehood on May 24, 2017

    Mr Borah turns the tables on a crook.
  • Saving Amy on June 11, 2017

    "Sat in the Wine bar by her house Amy sat there thinking of what the main people in her life were doing." The first sentence makes absolutely no sense. It gets better, but the opening needs work.
  • Tristan Merryweather, Cheltenham's Finest Supernatural Detective: The Brag of Gold on July 16, 2017

    "age robs from one long days and late nights" Tell me about it! This was an entertaining read and I hope the author publishes more of this character.
  • My First And Last Time on July 16, 2017

    A fitting end.
  • Don't Do It on July 20, 2017

    Not bad at all considering the author's age. It could use better formatting however. The page breaks are uneven.
  • Being Friends With Margo on Aug. 18, 2017

    Very funny. Andre's characters can find themselves in the most hopeless situations.
  • The Pirate, Part I: The Traitor on Aug. 18, 2017
    (no rating)
    Enjoyed this. Can't wait for more.
  • Newcomer: Chapter 8 on Aug. 18, 2017

    I'm growing more & more interested now that things are opening up.
  • Hell Is Real!!! on Aug. 19, 2017

    We should first get our fact straight, namely that the word translated as 'hell' in modern versions was really 'hades,' the greek-roman word for the underworld. Also St Paul the earliest Christian writer never mentions it. Nor does the old testament Hebrew Bible talk of the subject. It speaks of a place called Sheol where souls linger a while then disappear. Now I consider myself a Christian & I do believe in getting right with God according to the book of Micah. And if people want to use the concept of hell to encourage others to act right I suppose it has it's uses. But I object to random pick & choose verses used to condemn others & force or threaten them into believing what you do. A gentler approach, with a little more scholarship, might better serve in encouraging others to "walk humbly with your God."
  • Life is Only a Game Baseball is Serious on Aug. 19, 2017

    A fun read.
  • She Chose Me on Aug. 19, 2017

    Yes. Cats will do that.
  • Simple and Easy Pumpkin Drink Recipes on Aug. 19, 2017

    The world can never have enough pumpkin recipes.
  • The Arcane Solution on Aug. 19, 2017

    Interesting.
  • Abstract Friends on Aug. 21, 2017

    Good but it would have been just as effective without the strong language.
  • How to Fail Miserably at Writing on Aug. 31, 2017

    I am going to apologize upfront by saying I'm not a writer and this 'book' probably isn't meant for me. But having taken the time to go through it I can only give my impression of it. First it strikes me as more self-serving than instructive. It's message is essentially to just hang in there, which is something any dedicated writer should already know to do. Second, I didn't really like the writer's style. It was too folksy and chummy, more like girl-girl chat than a sincere effort at conveying a message. So in that case I can understand her failures. Third, this was a new author to me and always before trying out a new writer I check their profile page to get an idea of how they interact with others. It always strikes me negative when somebody posts on Smashwords but does not give reviews themselves. It doesn't seem friendly or cooperative to expect others to download and review ones work when one is not willing to reciprocate that favor. For those honestly felt reasons I am giving this 2 stars.
  • Iago Wick and the Vampire Queen on Aug. 31, 2017

    I'm not a huge fan of steampunk for reasons too numerous to mention but mainly because it's easy enough to go backward and pretend to look ahead as opposed to sci-fi and fantasy that generally looks ahead without a prior frame of reference. That probably could be worded better if I had days to think about it but I believe you get the idea. But editorializing aside, I found this an enjoyable read despite my reservations.
  • Carried Away on Aug. 31, 2017

    Nice story, although I honestly don't see why the issue of gender orientation had to play into it. It could have been just as effective as a story of friendship without the sexual aspects.
  • Taken at the Nude Beach on Sep. 02, 2017

    Nothing here you couldn't find in any fan-fic porn site; a fantasy world where women are always safe and STDs don't exist. It did nothing to stir the juices in my nether parts.Also the story is only 10 pages long with the other 9 being advertisements for other works.
  • Batman: 'Twas The Dark Knight on Sep. 06, 2017

    There's not enough here to judge. An opening chapter, nothing more.
  • Newcomer: Chapter 9 on Sep. 21, 2017

    I'm sorry to say that I'm getting a little tired of this series. Not that it isn't good and I still give it a 4-star rating. But the author needs to turn it up a notch and get things going. For me (and I'm speaking only for myself) it's unfolding slower than is necessary. I hope Mike won't get angry with me over this.
  • As Bob Dylan Said on Sep. 21, 2017

    Well written with a good command of language. I intend to read more of Mr. McDade's work. One thing though, and this is my own opinion, I see from the author's profile that he doesn't give out reviews. I think he could build a bigger audience if he read and rated fellow Smashwords authors. There's a give-and-take thing here and writers should help each other out whenever possible. Personally I've no dog in this fight since I'm not a writer, but I feel giving reviews to others shows a sense of community and camradery. But then that's just me.
  • Time Capsule on Sep. 21, 2017

    Nice concept but the scanned documents were difficult to read. It would have worked just as well had they been typed out into the regular text. I would also recommend the author read and rate other Smashwords authors to build an audience as well as community and friendship among others.
  • Cat In Space on Sep. 23, 2017

    Mixed response to this. It is 24 pages long, but story itself takes only 15. That's a lot of filler. It says it was published in 2018. So is this a time travel tale? Also the PDF has shifting margins. So enough complaints. Story itself is fair. I always like ones featuring cats.
  • Death Penalty: A Brief Analysis on Oct. 16, 2017

    Pro: No repeat offenders. Cons: None. Hebrew Old Testament Law required two eyewitnesses to convict, so highly unlikely to have a wrongful conviction.
  • The Beast of Tofino on Oct. 16, 2017

    I would have liked this more if it were not written in the present tense. Present tense is for radio and movies, meaning its happening NOW as you watch or listen to it. Written things can not happen NOW. They have to have happened THEN for you to be able to write about them, meaning they're past tense. Other than that nitpick it was okay.
  • Believing in God - But Not In Religion on Oct. 16, 2017

    It must be nice to be in complete control of one's life and have no questions or doubts so you can tell other people how they should live theirs. Belief in God, whether Hebrew or Christian, should require a bit of humility. I don't see any of that here.
  • Mr. T Can't Dance and George Saunders Stole My Stories on Oct. 23, 2017

    Rather so-so tale, funny in spots but it rambles. Poorly researched as well since the Iron Butterfly song is called "IN A GADDA DA VIDA" and not “Inna Gata De Vita.” Checking out the author's profile I see he's been publishing on Smashwords since 2011 but has never posted a single review. This IMO is poor etiquette, not that I'm singling out Mr. Seitz here. I see too many writers who want recognition to come their way, yet they don't reach out to the Smashwords community to build a fan base. As I say to all aspiring writers, the best way to garner reviews is to give them, and the best way to get fans is to be one..
  • Cats, Pranks, Dogs on May 27, 2018

    Your stories are badly punctuated, contain numerous grammar errors, and mix tenses in the same paragraph. Go back and do a careful edit and you will have something worth reading. As it is I could not finish it.
  • Smells Like Wrong on May 27, 2018

    Apologies to Andre for not reviewing this earlier. It's a fun story with smart alec kids facing ghosts. What's not to like?
  • Newcomer: Chapter 11 on May 27, 2018

    Sorry I haven't been reviewing much lately. I have no idea what's going on but it is written in a way that keeps me interested.
  • Hazel on June 04, 2018

    I really enjoyed this. The cat was wonderful.
  • Anuradha on June 04, 2018

    I sympathized with the lady, not that I was ever in her specific situation, but I have at times felt similarly overwhelmed.
  • 19 Proven Smoothie Recipes For Weight Loss on June 04, 2018

    I will definitely try some of these.
  • Monster of Monsters: Package Delivered To The Mad Scientist- Fantasy, Science Fiction, & Horror Flash Fiction #8 on Dec. 04, 2018

    This is not flash fiction. It barely qualifies as a sketch. It has no plot, no beginning, middle, or end. It's just words strung together, a joke without the punch line. I'm sorry if I'm going off on the author. It's not meant as anything personal. But I am tired of seeing stories presented as "flash Fiction" that don't meet the basic requirements of fiction itself. A lizard answering the door, looking around, and going back inside is not a story. It's a start, perhaps. But it's not a story in and of itself.
  • The Crone House on Dec. 04, 2018

    A trifle over-written, but not bad.
  • The Painting on Dec. 04, 2018

    This struck me as an R-rated version of THE NIGHT GALLERY; not that I'm saying it's a bad thing.
  • Daddy's A Fireman on Dec. 04, 2018

    Nothing original here. I've no problem with eroticism only this borders on child porn.
  • How to Write the Perfect Short Story on Dec. 04, 2018

    This struck me more as an advertisement for the author's other books. You could get the same advice from Elmore Leonard.
  • The Sadist on Dec. 04, 2018

    I like your pen name.
  • Northern Lights on Dec. 04, 2018

    Good build up but the ending comes completely out of left field.
  • Hells Warm Fires on Dec. 04, 2018

    I liked this.
  • Once Upon a Time on Dec. 04, 2018

    A simple tale. Not bad but it needs work. Shifting between past and present tense is a no-no.
  • Electromagnetic Wonkery and Intercepted IP Address Fuckery on Dec. 15, 2018

    Most author's with a poor grasp of the language bury their profanity within the pages of their book. Putting it on the cover only demonstrates the person's total lack of taste and subtlety.
  • Monster of Monsters: Watery Things From Watery Depths- Fantasy, Science Fiction, & Horror Flash Fiction #9 on Dec. 18, 2018

    I don't like giving bad reviews but this is not good.
  • The Outcast (Dork vs Geek ) on Dec. 18, 2018

    Slow in spots but overall enjoyable.
  • In the Footsteps of Cthulhu on June 20, 2019

    I apologize for this being a 5-star review, but 6 is not an option. The love that exists between O'Ryan and Julie is of the purest kind. It is one of respect coupled with deep affection. And it is purely chaste. That is because O'Ryan is a man and Julie is an ostrich. A person could conjure a lot of sick jokes about this--but that would only testify to the sickness of the conjurer. It is something Mr. Hold expertly avoids. Strictly speaking Julie is not a true ostrich. She has feathers, claws, a beak, and cannot speak. But trapped inside that 5-foot-11-inch body is the spirit of a real, human female--and O'Ryan is on a never-ending quest to find a way to change her into the woman she was meant to be. Along comes a fellow named Braynes--although it's questionable how he uses them. Braynes has documents revealing the truth behind H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos and the knowledge that these Elder Gods will someday subjugate mankind. So he hatches a scheme to get on their good side in order not to fall victim to their rule. The only catch is he needs financing, which is where O'Ryan comes in. O'Ryan throws in with Braynes hoping to have Cthulhu turn Julie into a woman, if only for a little while. This all sounds deadly serious. Which it is. But at the same time it's one of the funniest explorations of Lovecraft's world I have ever read. The humor is priceless and there are too many good lines to quote. All that and a very touching ending that'll make you want to cry. It further makes me cry that Mr. Hold has so small a following. I honestly feel he is as good as, if not better than, 75 percent of the fiction writers out there. Yet for whatever reason he cannot catch on. Perhaps he should try striking his own deal with Cthulhu. Perhaps then he'd get the success he deserves.
  • Wouldn't It Be Nice on July 13, 2019

    I'm happy to see Mr. Hold has not abandoned his Cat of Many Colors series. He's been posting other things of late and I was worried he might retire some of his older characters like Akkadia and Buck Stardust. "Wouldn't It Be Nice" (based I'm sure on the Beach Boys song, a prior Cristina Preston adventure being "Good Vibrations") finds Cristina babysitting Joseph's title cat. The cat is less active this time around but does make it's presence felt. The cat, cracking an eyelid enough for a single photon to enter, sent a thought beam saying, "Go away; I'm sleeping." Mr. Hold knows his cats. Cristina is an over-imaginative girl of the Walter Mitty type. Except where Mitty simply daydreams, Cristina actively pursues her roles. "You're Max Carrados?" She had the voice of an air brake. "The blind detective?" "No," I shook my head. "I'm Maxine Dos-Cara, the blonde detective. The papers never get it right." "Especially as you're not blonde to begin with," the woman pointed out. "True," I agreed, "although I am noticeably light headed." "I can't argue that." Her PI is more Frank Drebin than anything. "I'm here," Mrs Anchor explained, "because the Denton Diamond has been stolen." "That's a bummer," I commiserated. "Let's hope the team doesn't have a game tonight." If you like cute heroines (she resembles Nancy Sinatra with cropped hair) and witty wordplay you'll like this. You should also keep a little sympathy for her long-suffering boyfriend Ron. He's the least mentioned character in the series but probably the most important. Mr. Hold's Cat of Many Colors series runs a range of humor, adventure, supernatural, and poignant tales. Everyone should check them out.
  • Cover You in Oil on July 21, 2019

    Short, restrained, old pulp adventure. Excellent as always.
  • Street Fightin' Man on July 28, 2019

    Not bad, but Mr. Hold has done better. I suppose we should allow him a 4 star effort now and then.
  • I Can Hear Music on Aug. 10, 2019

    I hope this doesn't mark the end of the Cat of Many Colors series but is only a break in it. The ending is a logical conclusion from its "Will It Go Round in Circles" beginning. A bit bolder, a bit more NC-17, and a tad more info dispensed. Barbara Harris? Loved it. And I would much enjoy hearing a gospel-bluegrass version of "The Banana Boat Song."
  • Monday Monday on Sep. 25, 2019

    Funny, not hilarious. Didn't see anything offensive.
  • Ruby Tuesday on Oct. 01, 2019

    The usual laugh out loud experience. Mr. Hold dispenses wacky humor and terrible puns while doing away with the fourth wall. I loved when Jowls defined football as "the ridiculous event where two city or college teams compete to see who can field the ugliest uniform." It's both in character and completely true.
  • Bungle in the Jungle on Dec. 27, 2019

    Hilarious laugh-out-loud quick read. Daughter of Tarzan Meets Jethro Tull on a volcanic jungle island with all the expected complications. We are also given a reason why Cristina retreats so often into her fantasy world. I actually felt sorry for her. Lots of references to other Tarzan books and Jethro Tull songs. It's no big deal if you don't get them, but more fun if you do. Great fun, as usual, from Mr Hold. Oh, and there's a terrific dig at Philip Jose Farmer.
  • Come Back When You Grow Up, Girl on Feb. 06, 2020

    Reboots to me are an annoying thing. The excuse often given is that the creators have run out of ideas. Fair enough. If that's the case, then hire new people. Don't punish loyal readers by changing the characters into something their creators never envisioned. That, or dream up with new characters to replace them. Whatever... Here our sweet superhero Akkadia goes through a slight alteration in her character. The hero formerly known as Spread Eagle has it worse. She goes to Akkadia for help. It end up in a search for a youth formula. That bare bones plot only hints at the hilarity that ensues and the barbed comments by the characters toward people who mess with things that don't need messing with. You may not get as much out of it if you're not familiar with what the author is talking about. Even so, you'll still get a lot of laughs from it.
  • Sealed With A Hiss on Sep. 18, 2020

    Buck returns after a three year absence to tell about his first visit to the Philippines. Like all BS adventures it is absolutely hilarious. There's a joke in almost paragraph. I got a special kick out of the names Knut Gibson, Sven Maynard, and Anna-Frid Oakley from Hollywood cowboy movies.