Michelle B

Biography

I am a widow and I live in Louisiana with one child and a cat. I like to read funny stuff. My friends tell me I have a weird sense of humor.

Books

This member has not published any books.

Michelle B's favorite authors on Smashwords

Andre' Mwansa
Latest book: Missing You (Text Me). Published January 17, 2019. (5.00 from 4 reviews)
Jacob Mossberg
Latest book: Last Ride. Published September 25, 2018. (4.00 from 1 review)
James Hold
Latest book: I Should Have Known Cheddar. Published June 22, 2018. (5.00 from 4 reviews)
Malcolm Torres
Latest book: The Pirate, Part III: Big Daddy. Published March 25, 2018. (5.00 from 12 reviews)
Mike White
Latest book: Newcomer: Chapter 11. Published December 13, 2017. (4.00 from 2 reviews)

Smashwords book reviews by Michelle B

  • Better on Oct. 03, 2015

    The story reminded me a lot of myself. Except for the part about being rich.
  • Seance Club on Oct. 03, 2015

    This was a quick read. It was allright but it lacked something. Sorry, that's just my impression.
  • Gluttony: A Seven Deadly Sins Short Story on Oct. 03, 2015

    A quick read. The story is under-developed. It would be better if expanded.
  • The Nether Mind: 33 Flash Fiction Stories on Oct. 07, 2015

    Some of the stories are good while others fall short. A few of them are too long to qualify as flash fiction. Some are too short and feel more like intros or outlines. But overall it is a good and quick read.
  • 150 Ways to Live Simply and Happily on Oct. 10, 2015

    Simple points about living simply. Some are too simple. Lots of "do this" but no "how" to do it.
  • No Man to Trifle With on Nov. 11, 2015

    I read some Breckenridge Elkins stories and the author does capture the style effectively. That said, I read the story 3 times and still don't understand what the joke or payoff is supposed to be. Maybe it's something subtle and I'm not catching it.
  • Law Of Attraction The Shoking Truth on Nov. 20, 2015

    The "shoking" truth ? "Doesn T" ?
  • Dead Man's Curve on Nov. 22, 2015

    "Greg, Billy and Bobby were a wild bunch when they are together..." My grammar teacher just rolled over in her grave.
  • Arsenic and Old Lace on Nov. 22, 2015

    Honestly, with a little editing and trimming, this could be a good story. But stuff like "them both" needs to go.
  • A Grave Mistake on Nov. 22, 2015

    "an old abandoned cemetery" Most abandoned cemeteries are old. You seldom find new ones.
  • SALAMICHICKENCARMEATRAVIOLIVOMITARMY on Jan. 18, 2016

    You are a young writer and I encourage you to keep at it. However your spelling and grammar need a LOT of work. Capitalization, contractions, quotes and all that stuff is important if you want to capture an audience.
  • The Death Of The Motherless Kitten on Feb. 25, 2016

    I don't know how this won an award. The narrator is an irresponsible jerk!
  • Buck Stardust vs Dracula on Aug. 11, 2016

    OMG. That's all. Just O M G.
  • Will You Sing Fredric? on Aug. 11, 2016

    Interesting.
  • The Moneylender Of Levantine on Aug. 11, 2016

    A strange story, but a good one.
  • The Outrageous Obnubilation of Oscar Oaks Objectification of Orbs on Aug. 11, 2016

    The ending 'leaves' me breathless.
  • A Nickel For Your Thoughts on Sep. 15, 2016

    Mr. Hold's Buck Stardust stories are always entertaining. This is no exception. It is completely ridiculous, but it is also absolutely hilarious.
  • A New Discovery on Sep. 25, 2016

    Better go back and fix the opening sentence. Otherwise story is ok.
  • Short Instances of Death on Sep. 25, 2016

    Definitely not for the 'week' hearted.
  • Serves You Right To Suffer on Oct. 09, 2016

    A good mix. The bad guy is bad, but the hero is not a good guy either. First sentence tells you he is smug and at the end he destroys evidence of a debt. Sometimes the hero is not always a saint. Also enjoyed learning the history of Wharton.
  • Dead Letters: In The Ruins Of Hope on Oct. 09, 2016

    You write skilfully and the story is well told.
  • A life with no Light and Other Stories on Oct. 09, 2016

    Not bad.
  • Wolf & Girl on Oct. 29, 2016

    "Ant this wolf was all alone" "deep under the covers at nigh." Alex, your story is good but PLEASE go back and correct your spelling!
  • Mistakes, Mistakes, Mistakes on Nov. 12, 2016

    You need to revisit your first grade English class and lean how to make paragraphs. This reads like one big run-on sentence. Also you have spelling errors. The spell check feature in Word is highly recommended.
  • Muh Na Muh Na on Jan. 12, 2017

    I've always suspected a Benny Hill influence behind the author's Buck Stardust stories. This is a perfect homage to the great British comedy star.
  • Handout on World Trade Center & 9-11 on Feb. 06, 2017

    With all due respect, I read your book and the only 'holes' I see are in your assumptions as to what happened. I did however see what what could be cinder blocks, which are used in construction and then covered over. Still, this is your opinion and you are entitled to it. All I'm saying is you did nothing to convince me otherwise.
  • Dear Reader on Feb. 06, 2017

    Kind of cute and whimsical, but much too short to qualify as a story.
  • Secrets to Attaining College Success, 2nd Ed. on Feb. 06, 2017

    A bit of practical commonsense advice. My own take on college success would be to study hard and stay sober. Unless you're the privileged son of some frat alum. Then it won't matter what you do because daddy's friends will have you set for life. (A cynical look back at my own college days.)
  • The Counterfeit Lighthouse on Feb. 08, 2017

    Oh my. When I first glimpsed the title I thought this might be a biography of that wack-job Richard Lighthouse who posts his paranoid conspiracy theories on this site. Thankfully that was not the case. Instead I got a very entertaining story of a girl seeking clues to her past, a well-told espionage thriller with touches of pathos and longing that concludes with just the right note of danger to make me want more. Thank you, Lisa, for posting this wonderful tale.
  • Plane Crash Part-II on Feb. 08, 2017

    Very captivating tale. And such a sad ending. But please don't leave us hanging as to the fate of the baby girl. You simply must post Part 3 and let us know what happens.
  • A Bag of Currency on Feb. 11, 2017

    Very good. More like a comedy of errors.
  • Superkid on Feb. 14, 2017

    I liked this.
  • Superkid and the Vampire's Revenge on Feb. 14, 2017

    I liked this also. Superhero humor always hits the spot with me.
  • Can't Buy a Thrill on Feb. 14, 2017

    I jumped on this the minute I saw it. The story took me completely by surprise. The first 95% reads like a collaboration between Robert Benchley and Dave Barry...really amusing stuff...only to have the final paragraph become Robert Bloch. An excellent job of misdirection. Only I should have known better since this is part of his "Psycho Killer" series. Cousin Caronte, you definitely need to read this.
  • The Story of Tortoise and Lion on Feb. 18, 2017
    (no rating)
    You have an error in the first sentence.
  • Roadside on Feb. 18, 2017

    I honestly don't know what to say about this. But having an entire afternoon and half an evening reading it, I feel I need to say something. Johnny is a burned-out, pot smoking ex-rocker. He brags about his exploits on the road. While I love late '50s early '60s rock-n-roll, I couldn't find anything to like in the hero. After each bragging tale I felt I needed to take a shower. Finally the devil, in the form of Jerry Lee Lewis, exposes him as a liar. After which he goes about his merry way. I liked that the story was about real old-time rock-n-roll. There's so little of that type of fiction, especially the kind that has a ring of truth to it. But in the end (and this is just my opinion for what it's worth), I simply didn't see the point of it. A well-told story that passed the time, but in the end I didn't feel any the better for having read it. Hopefully some other reader will get more from it than I did. Mr Zito is a good writer and deserves an audience, so I wish him well.
  • Incident In Rhodes on Feb. 18, 2017

    The story has a great many grammar and punctuation errors. It's not a "fair play" mystery in that no real clues are given and the sleuth doesn't deduce or solve anything but places herself in harm's way hoping things will resolve themselves. An interesting story, and well thought out, but not effectively executed.
  • How to Argue with Right-Wingers: A Winning Strategy to Dealing With the Other Side on May 08, 2017

    I'll say first that I downloaded the author's guitar book and I plan on studying it and learning to be a better musician than I am now. As to this one, it opens with the line: "This mini-book is for smart people who want to the ability to not only tolerate, but discuss deeply with those who hold radically different views." I do hope that is true and that many people read this because in so many cases the "left-wingers" with whom I have tried to have discussions have proven to be rude and intolerant of any opinion that differs from their own. It's possible I've just run into the "wrong" side of the party but my experiences in the last 20 or more years have not been pleasant. The author further states: "Conservatives are, however, often characterized as anti-evolution [2], anti-global warming [3], anti-abortion [4], anti-social security [5], anti-universal health care [6], anti-immigrant [7], and just plain bad people [8]." Again it is a shame this attitude exists since I am none of those things. Granted if you lump everyone into a single pot and use clowns like Shawn Hannity as your role model then you will come away with a bad opinion. What I'm trying to say is that you can find intolerant a-holes on both sides and when you encounter those people the best advice is to walk away and leave them to their delusions since you will never change their minds anyway. The book is good and it makes some fine points. I only hope its readers will keep in mind that the door swings both ways and that "arguments" get you nowhere, while "polite dialogues" although they may not convince will at least earn you a bit of grudging respect.
  • 17+ on May 19, 2017

    I've seen the Robin Tunney film referenced in the story and although memory is dim I don't see the connection. Nor do I see where watching the film with her parents would have made any difference. But I'm an old woman and maybe it's over my head. Still it's an interesting tale so 4 stars.
  • Telepathy: An Essay on May 20, 2017

    No disrespect intended but why if telepathy does exist should you need to write a book about it. Why not beam it directly into my head and be done with it?
  • Healthcare In America - Where Do I Begin? on May 24, 2017

    If there's a point here it went over my head.
  • The Dragon on May 24, 2017

    I like the style of writing, although I confess I didn't understand a word of it.
  • Falsehood on May 24, 2017

    Mr Borah turns the tables on a crook.
  • Saving Amy on June 11, 2017

    "Sat in the Wine bar by her house Amy sat there thinking of what the main people in her life were doing." The first sentence makes absolutely no sense. It gets better, but the opening needs work.
  • Learn Tagalog Through Legends on July 16, 2017

    I found this difficult to follow. It would have been better if the English translation had been separated from the Tagalog text. My eyes grew sore trying to separate the two. Interesting stories, what I could read of them, but not reader friendly.
  • Tristan Merryweather, Cheltenham's Finest Supernatural Detective: The Brag of Gold on July 16, 2017

    "age robs from one long days and late nights" Tell me about it! This was an entertaining read and I hope the author publishes more of this character.
  • Million Dollar Stories on July 16, 2017

    Stories are interesting. I would like to see better formatting with page breaks between the separate tales.
  • My First And Last Time on July 16, 2017

    A fitting end.
  • Don't Do It on July 20, 2017

    Not bad at all considering the author's age. It could use better formatting however. The page breaks are uneven.
  • Being Friends With Margo on Aug. 18, 2017

    Very funny. Andre's characters can find themselves in the most hopeless situations.
  • The Pirate, Part I: The Traitor on Aug. 18, 2017
    (no rating)
    Enjoyed this. Can't wait for more.
  • Newcomer: Chapter 8 on Aug. 18, 2017

    I'm growing more & more interested now that things are opening up.
  • Hell Is Real!!! on Aug. 19, 2017

    We should first get our fact straight, namely that the word translated as 'hell' in modern versions was really 'hades,' the greek-roman word for the underworld. Also St Paul the earliest Christian writer never mentions it. Nor does the old testament Hebrew Bible talk of the subject. It speaks of a place called Sheol where souls linger a while then disappear. Now I consider myself a Christian & I do believe in getting right with God according to the book of Micah. And if people want to use the concept of hell to encourage others to act right I suppose it has it's uses. But I object to random pick & choose verses used to condemn others & force or threaten them into believing what you do. A gentler approach, with a little more scholarship, might better serve in encouraging others to "walk humbly with your God."
  • Life is Only a Game Baseball is Serious on Aug. 19, 2017

    A fun read.
  • She Chose Me on Aug. 19, 2017

    Yes. Cats will do that.
  • Simple and Easy Pumpkin Drink Recipes on Aug. 19, 2017

    The world can never have enough pumpkin recipes.
  • The Arcane Solution on Aug. 19, 2017

    Interesting.
  • Abstract Friends on Aug. 21, 2017

    Good but it would have been just as effective without the strong language.
  • How to Fail Miserably at Writing on Aug. 31, 2017

    I am going to apologize upfront by saying I'm not a writer and this 'book' probably isn't meant for me. But having taken the time to go through it I can only give my impression of it. First it strikes me as more self-serving than instructive. It's message is essentially to just hang in there, which is something any dedicated writer should already know to do. Second, I didn't really like the writer's style. It was too folksy and chummy, more like girl-girl chat than a sincere effort at conveying a message. So in that case I can understand her failures. Third, this was a new author to me and always before trying out a new writer I check their profile page to get an idea of how they interact with others. It always strikes me negative when somebody posts on Smashwords but does not give reviews themselves. It doesn't seem friendly or cooperative to expect others to download and review ones work when one is not willing to reciprocate that favor. For those honestly felt reasons I am giving this 2 stars.
  • Iago Wick and the Vampire Queen on Aug. 31, 2017

    I'm not a huge fan of steampunk for reasons too numerous to mention but mainly because it's easy enough to go backward and pretend to look ahead as opposed to sci-fi and fantasy that generally looks ahead without a prior frame of reference. That probably could be worded better if I had days to think about it but I believe you get the idea. But editorializing aside, I found this an enjoyable read despite my reservations.
  • Carried Away on Aug. 31, 2017

    Nice story, although I honestly don't see why the issue of gender orientation had to play into it. It could have been just as effective as a story of friendship without the sexual aspects.
  • Diamond Hard on Aug. 31, 2017

    Not bad at all. Well written and tidy. One suggestion though--and this goes for all writers posting on Smashwords--the best way to get reviews is to give them first. Reach out to the world, don't wait for it to come to you.
  • Hippie Notes: Confessions of an Aging Forest Hippie on Aug. 31, 2017

    Interesting for what it is, but I have to question: Are there any hippies existing today who are not aging?
  • Taken at the Nude Beach on Sep. 02, 2017

    Nothing here you couldn't find in any fan-fic porn site; a fantasy world where women are always safe and STDs don't exist. It did nothing to stir the juices in my nether parts.Also the story is only 10 pages long with the other 9 being advertisements for other works.
  • Batman: 'Twas The Dark Knight on Sep. 06, 2017

    There's not enough here to judge. An opening chapter, nothing more.
  • Newcomer: Chapter 9 on Sep. 21, 2017

    I'm sorry to say that I'm getting a little tired of this series. Not that it isn't good and I still give it a 4-star rating. But the author needs to turn it up a notch and get things going. For me (and I'm speaking only for myself) it's unfolding slower than is necessary. I hope Mike won't get angry with me over this.
  • As Bob Dylan Said on Sep. 21, 2017

    Well written with a good command of language. I intend to read more of Mr. McDade's work. One thing though, and this is my own opinion, I see from the author's profile that he doesn't give out reviews. I think he could build a bigger audience if he read and rated fellow Smashwords authors. There's a give-and-take thing here and writers should help each other out whenever possible. Personally I've no dog in this fight since I'm not a writer, but I feel giving reviews to others shows a sense of community and camradery. But then that's just me.
  • Time Capsule on Sep. 21, 2017

    Nice concept but the scanned documents were difficult to read. It would have worked just as well had they been typed out into the regular text. I would also recommend the author read and rate other Smashwords authors to build an audience as well as community and friendship among others.
  • Clowns, Idiots, Assholes (CIA) & Goodreads.com on Sep. 26, 2017

    I wish I had access to all the inside information you possess. A simple question, as a Goodreads subscriber, is if you're so against the site then why do you even go there? Why not ignore them and devote your time to better things? As it is you only come across as a paranoid nutcase.
  • “I Will Only React to Constructive Suggestions:” Targeted Individuals on Sep. 26, 2017

    I scanned your pamphlet and (to me) what you describe as "self-hypnosis" sounds more like "self-delusion." Really, you need to sit back, grab a beer, and chill.
  • It's All Over Now on Oct. 01, 2017

    If this little gem doesn't scare the everloving bejabbers out of you then nothing will. Two pages at most, a little over 700 words, skillfully understated, and absolutely terrifying. I will never listen to that Rolling Stones song the same way again, nor will I ever want to see another cricket.
  • Shakin' All Over on Oct. 06, 2017

    Akkadia is a magic-based superheroine in the style of Mandrake the Magician, Ibis the Invincible, Mighty Isis, and others. She is beautiful (naturally), straight-faced, and ultra-serious. Her powers are not spelled out but they are said to be "mystical" rather than "magical." She shows additional Dr Strange influences with such phrases as "By the oddball opticals of Oktid!" (That's "Ditko" spelled backward; so maybe there's some Zatara in her as well.) One thing for sure is that she is undeniably modeled after young Pia Zadora. She is described as being petite, blonde, and chipmunk-cheeked. And her civilian identity (in this story anyway) is Dora Piaza. Honestly? Dora Piaza? You can't get much more obvious than that. A final thing to note is that Akkadia is extremely absent-minded when it comes to fashion; essentially she wears a large colorful cloak, and little else, resulting in frequent exclamations of "WOWZA!" from all males who see her. "Shakin' All Over" is her third adventure. (The title derives from the Johnny Kidd & the Pirates / Guess Who song of the same name.) In her first outing, "The Cowering Inferno," she faced the villainous Moo Fanchu. Her second, "Wade in the Water," which featured Detective Bureau in a Naked Gun / Police Squad send-up, saw her square off against Maleduck the Magician. (Get it?) Now she finds herself in heated battle with the evil scientific genius Lex Moothor who wants to bring Houston down (literally) with a super vibrator machine powered by an extraordinary new power source called SIJMU. (I won't explain it. You'll have to read it for yourself. But rest assured, it's priceless.) He does this from a subterrranium world of sheeplike people. Their city, naturally, is called Ewetopia. You also get the Stanley Ku Brick Company at 2001A Space Odyssey Blvd. And there's a gentle dig at "our neighbors to the north." (At least, I thought it was gentle. Some may think otherwise.) The story is told in a style reminiscent of the first Akkadia adventure, which is "a comic book without pictures," meaning you had to read it as if the only thing you were getting is captions and word balloons and you had to imagine what the art looked like. The first story, "The Cowering Inferno," while good, took this approach a little too strictly. The second, "Wade in the Water," abandoned it for a straight prose technique. "Shakin' All Over" is a combination of the two. There remains a predominantly "comic book" feel to it (the author uses common comic book words like "thru" and "tho"), but it contains a tad more detail to help you along. It's still an exercise in minimalism, but it goes down smoother. I hope the author sticks with this method if he decides to write more Akkadia adventures. I'm not going to say this is Mr Hold's best story. It isn't. It's not even his best Akkadia tale. That would be "Wade in the Water." Nevertheless it is highly recommended as an experimental piece and there's more here to like than dislike. The Akkadia series remains a work in progress. All that aside, it offers silly fun that is not meant to be taken seriously. Just take it for what it is and you'll have a good time with it. Or as the author says, "Just go along with it, okay?"
  • Free Bird on Oct. 09, 2017

    Mr Hold, over the course of his literary career, has inflicted some terrible puns on us for which he deserves to be shot. "Free Bird" begins and ends with two of his worst. I laughed out loud when I read them. "A ticked-off ornithologist, after being ticketed in a speed trap, trains an avian army to deposit their noxious droppings over a city, bringing business to a standstill. The mayor calls on Akkadia, the Abracadabrical Amazon, for help.for help" — who after a couple of missteps, comes through in the end. The story is essentially a "Super Chicken" episode, the author as much as says so in the text, with Akkadia's assistant Ziggurat subbing for Super Chicken's sidekick Fred. Like Fred, he delivers some clever lines. The story reads well and the style employed here fits the character better than the previous outing, "Shakin' All Over." Oh, and there's only a single WOWZA! "Wade in the Water" remains the best story in the series, but "Free Bird" is definitely Number Two. Did I just say that? Ouch!
  • No Milk Today on Oct. 15, 2017

    A short and silly adventure with Mr. Hold's wardrobe-challenged superheroine, Akkadia. Mr. Hold has a nice way of presenting his hero since, although she spends the greater part of the adventure unclothed apart from a loosely flowing cloak, it's never portrayed as dirty or smutty. It comes across as a Benny Hill kind of playful naughtiness which causes men to gape and go "WOWZA!" On the plus side, we are given a logical explanation for the flaw in Akkadia's magic that forces her to go naked. It actually makes sense when you think about it. We also get an explanation at the end as to why this flaw should not be fixed. That explanation makes less sense, but I can see the motives behind the person giving it. As to the story itself, it's pays homage to Herman's Hermits with members of the group serving as characters and it name checks 5 of their songs. That is to say I counted 5; there may be more. I liked the group without being a huge follower. We get yet another disciple of Moo Fanchu plotting to destroy the dairy industry. The method is quite crude and disgusting if you think about it, but fortunately the author doesn't belabor it. I can easily imagine movies of the Porky's, Mike Meyers, and Paulie Shore variety carrying it to unnecessary lengths. It's a credit to the author that he simply presents it and moves on. There's also a sensible comment on the superhero's code of honor. Something which again makes perfect sense. I remember in the late 60s Green Lantern developed a conscience about using his power ring to defeat ordinary crooks so he decided to use fisticuffs instead. (Actually I think it had more to do with Gil Kane wanting to draw bizarre action poses. That however is for another day.) "No Milk Today" is not as good as its predecessor. It's a bit too long for what the author is trying to achieve with this series. At the same time, I don't know what I would cut out to make it better. Still and all it's a fun outing deserving 5 stars. If you can get into the spirit of what the "Secrets of Akkadia" series is about you can have a lot of fun with it. Conversely, if you find yourself not enjoying it, check out the author's other works which are more straightforward, but still contain a lot of humor. A LATE NOTE: It only now dawns on me how "Secrets of Akkadia" parallels the old "Secrets of Isis" Saturday morning TV show starring Joanna Cameron. I'm starting to wonder if that's what Mr. Hold had in mind all along, since I'm sure she inspired a lot of WOWZAs among growing boys in the 70s.
  • Death Penalty: A Brief Analysis on Oct. 16, 2017

    Pro: No repeat offenders. Cons: None. Hebrew Old Testament Law required two eyewitnesses to convict, so highly unlikely to have a wrongful conviction.
  • The Beast of Tofino on Oct. 16, 2017

    I would have liked this more if it were not written in the present tense. Present tense is for radio and movies, meaning its happening NOW as you watch or listen to it. Written things can not happen NOW. They have to have happened THEN for you to be able to write about them, meaning they're past tense. Other than that nitpick it was okay.
  • Believing in God - But Not In Religion on Oct. 16, 2017

    It must be nice to be in complete control of one's life and have no questions or doubts so you can tell other people how they should live theirs. Belief in God, whether Hebrew or Christian, should require a bit of humility. I don't see any of that here.
  • Mr. T Can't Dance and George Saunders Stole My Stories on Oct. 23, 2017

    Rather so-so tale, funny in spots but it rambles. Poorly researched as well since the Iron Butterfly song is called "IN A GADDA DA VIDA" and not “Inna Gata De Vita.” Checking out the author's profile I see he's been publishing on Smashwords since 2011 but has never posted a single review. This IMO is poor etiquette, not that I'm singling out Mr. Seitz here. I see too many writers who want recognition to come their way, yet they don't reach out to the Smashwords community to build a fan base. As I say to all aspiring writers, the best way to garner reviews is to give them, and the best way to get fans is to be one..
  • Strange Kind of Woman on Nov. 26, 2017

    I absolutely love this series. Akkadia and Ziggurat are simply priceless. The title comes from two things. First there's the song by Deep Purple. It's suggested by one of the henchmen being named Ritchie, the action takes place in Blackmore Forest, and the villain wears a deep purple robe. The other is a reference to the comic book character Dr Strange. The author has in other stories made reference to Dr Wendell Weird although he has never appeared on-screen. Here we get a Zatanna inspired character named Wendy Weird who is his daughter. She so closely resembles Zatanna that, in the author's words, "The only thing keeping her from being a copyright infringement was a missing top hat." But that's getting ahead of ourselves. Akkadia has caught a cold and is bed ridden. Her cold is so bad that every time she sneezes a piece of furniture morphs into something else. She dispatches her servant Ziggurat to fetch a doctor. Zig goes to Dr Weird's apothecary but he is not in. Wendy Weird offers to go in his place. Along the way they are captured by three henchmen working for Ho-Li-Kau, yet another disciple of Moo Fanchu. Ho-Li-Kau uses Zig to bait a trap for Akkadia. The magical maid does come through but still manages to land in trouble. As for the blurb asking will Ziggurat "die frying" I'll let you find that out on your own. Once again Mr Hold works a clever variation of his bovine villain theme. There's the usual funny word play and he even works in a dig at himself when Wendy wails, "By the Dreadful Dialog of Dloh!" Hint: spell it backward. There's only one WOWZA! scene this time, but it's a doozy. Check it out. It's a fun, brief, and entertaining read and you're sure to get a laugh from it.
  • Cats, Pranks, Dogs on May 27, 2018

    Your stories are badly punctuated, contain numerous grammar errors, and mix tenses in the same paragraph. Go back and do a careful edit and you will have something worth reading. As it is I could not finish it.
  • Smells Like Wrong on May 27, 2018

    Apologies to Andre for not reviewing this earlier. It's a fun story with smart alec kids facing ghosts. What's not to like?
  • Newcomer: Chapter 11 on May 27, 2018

    Sorry I haven't been reviewing much lately. I have no idea what's going on but it is written in a way that keeps me interested.
  • Hazel on June 04, 2018

    I really enjoyed this. The cat was wonderful.
  • Anuradha on June 04, 2018

    I sympathized with the lady, not that I was ever in her specific situation, but I have at times felt similarly overwhelmed.
  • 19 Proven Smoothie Recipes For Weight Loss on June 04, 2018

    I will definitely try some of these.
  • Wade in the Water on June 10, 2018

    This book is soooo funny. I can't believe I didn't review till now. It's like those Naked Gun movies and it finally made me understand the Akkadia / Pia Zadora connection. Immensely entertaining. Everyone should read this.
  • They Can't All Be Winners on June 16, 2018

    Hilarious parody of JLA / Super Friends. Recommended to all.
  • I Should Have Known Cheddar on June 23, 2018

    Pia Zadora teams with Leslie Neilsen to battle Nikola Tesla in a Super Chicken / Police Squad parody... Ziggurat, Akkadia's faithful assistant, looked out the tower window in response to a knock at their door. "There's a man downstairs with a head of cheese." "The poor thing," the Compassionate Conjurer commiserated. "He should see a doctor." There's aslo a recurring gag on the subject of GK Chesterton.... "Wait!" Akkadia interrupted. "Seals and Crofts. Summer Cheese. I knew there had to be one." "One what?" "GK Chesterton. A poem or song on the subject of cheese. It's been bugging me ever since Zig mentioned it." "You mean as in: 'I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a cheese'?" Silly bank names, a flying brooms, officers grabbing a Danish, magic utterences... "as it is written in the Sacred Scroll of Yor-Samoht" "By the Orphic Orbs of Oktid" And the usual WOWZA! moments we've come to expect from our wardrobe malfunctioning heroine. Too much here to be covered in a short review and you'll probably have to read it several times to catch everything. But re-reading only makes it better. Check it out, please. If you don't laugh out loud at this then there is something seriously wrong with you.
  • Monster of Monsters: Package Delivered To The Mad Scientist- Fantasy, Science Fiction, & Horror Flash Fiction #8 on Dec. 04, 2018

    This is not flash fiction. It barely qualifies as a sketch. It has no plot, no beginning, middle, or end. It's just words strung together, a joke without the punch line. I'm sorry if I'm going off on the author. It's not meant as anything personal. But I am tired of seeing stories presented as "flash Fiction" that don't meet the basic requirements of fiction itself. A lizard answering the door, looking around, and going back inside is not a story. It's a start, perhaps. But it's not a story in and of itself.
  • Hate in the USA on Dec. 04, 2018

    Empty preaching by someone who thinks they have the answer. One does not need to read the Bible to know how to act right toward others.
  • The Crone House on Dec. 04, 2018

    A trifle over-written, but not bad.
  • The Painting on Dec. 04, 2018

    This struck me as an R-rated version of THE NIGHT GALLERY; not that I'm saying it's a bad thing.
  • Daddy's A Fireman on Dec. 04, 2018

    Nothing original here. I've no problem with eroticism only this borders on child porn.
  • How to Write the Perfect Short Story on Dec. 04, 2018

    This struck me more as an advertisement for the author's other books. You could get the same advice from Elmore Leonard.
  • The Sadist on Dec. 04, 2018

    I like your pen name.
  • Northern Lights on Dec. 04, 2018

    Good build up but the ending comes completely out of left field.
  • Hells Warm Fires on Dec. 04, 2018

    I liked this.
  • Once Upon a Time on Dec. 04, 2018

    A simple tale. Not bad but it needs work. Shifting between past and present tense is a no-no.
  • Electromagnetic Wonkery and Intercepted IP Address Fuckery on Dec. 15, 2018

    Most author's with a poor grasp of the language bury their profanity within the pages of their book. Putting it on the cover only demonstrates the person's total lack of taste and subtlety.
  • Monster of Monsters: Watery Things From Watery Depths- Fantasy, Science Fiction, & Horror Flash Fiction #9 on Dec. 18, 2018

    I don't like giving bad reviews but this is not good.
  • The Outcast (Dork vs Geek ) on Dec. 18, 2018

    Slow in spots but overall enjoyable.