Noah Hoffmann

Biography

A mild-mannered truck driver by day, I spend my nights writing mostly at an attempt to convince the last few shreds of sanity I have not to jump ship with the rest. When I'm not doing that, you can usually find me playing tabletop rpgs, raiding the "50 cents" section of bookstores, and generally committing similar acts to solidify my reputation as a "huge nerd." Otherwise, my time is spent caring for my loving and intelligent-deficit dog Slade and yelling at you for cutting me off in traffic.

Smashwords Interview

Who are you?
My name's Noah Hoffmann. I'm a citizen of Cincinnati, Ohio who's currently anywhere but, driving a semi truck across America. I was initiated as a nerd during its dark age, when the comic book movie genre began and ended with the "Dark Knight" Trilogy, Doctor Who was that weird show from the '60s, and the only D&D around was 4th edition, so those roots run deep for me. Aside from that, I also have a love for books of any kind, paranormal phenomenon, music from any genre, and sleep. When I'm not writing, I'm usually playing board games, running tabletop RPGs for my totally real internet friends, or yelling at my dog for trying to eat my last remaining pillow.
Why in the world would you do something as insane as try to be a writer?
I've wanted to be a writer ever since second grade. Before then, I wanted to be an artist, but when my father (an actual artist) tried to teach me how to draw correctly, I realized I didn't actually care about how those drawings came out as much as I liked making up stories behind them. And hey, if things like "Twilight", "50 Shades of Gray", and "Great Expectations" can get published, I figured why can't I?
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Noah Hoffmann online

Series

Creepy America
"There's an America you never knew existed..." A series of horror short-stories, "Creepy America" recounts the webshow of the same name. Filmed, edited, and published by friends Zoey and Liam, the two traveled from state to state trying to find the truth behind the strange happenings, local hauntings, and urban legends all across the continental United State. Told years later from the perspective of Liam, these tales describe the events that transpired on the show, from the evolving friendship of the two co-hosts to the vast conspiracy uncovered piece by piece as more and more secrets are uncovered.
The Adventures of Solaire
An ongoing series of fantasy adventures, “The Adventures of Solaire” tells the story of the dread pirate Captain Solaire Ravenheart and his tales all across Lorian, from the the steam-powered world of Dinas to the magical superpower of Archone. What follows is every deed of sabotage, back-stabbing, intimidation, piracy, demon-summoning, automaton-killing, government-toppling, crew wrangling, and general defiance he committed in his quest for his ultimate goal: to save his sister River.

Books

Creepy America, Episode 12: Don't Fear the Reaper
Series: Creepy America, Episode 12. Price: Free! Words: 7,360. Language: English. Published: March 16, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Occult, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In this episode, Zoey and Liam investigate a girl who claims her best friend is Death... and the consequences such a friendship brings.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part X: The Archive Ship ii
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part X. Price: Free! Words: 5,450. Language: English. Published: March 8, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Epic
Now stuck in a sinking ship with no way out, it's Solaire's responsibility to get his crew out with their lives. Let's just hope he can.
Creepy America, Episode 11: Monday
Series: Creepy America, Episode 11. Price: Free! Words: 7,760. Language: English. Published: February 24, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
Liam and Zoey encounter a man who claims to have been living the exact same Monday for seventeen years, and decide to try and help him.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part IX: The Archive Ship I
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part IX. Price: Free! Words: 3,070. Language: English. Published: February 16, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » General
With the second piece of armor located, it's up to Solaire and crew to infiltrate the fortified ship it's residing on. They chose explosively.
Creepy America, Collection 2
Series: Creepy America, Collection 2. You set the price! Words: 31,330. Language: English. Published: February 2, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
This collection includes episodes six to ten, starting with the dangerous encounter with the Virginian Bunny Man and ending with the disturbing revelations from the Louisiana Monolith Contains the following previously published stories: Episode 6: Myths and Legends Episode 7: Alone Episode 8: The Red Eyed Man Episode 9: On the Side of the Angels Episode 10: Monolith
Creepy America, Episode 10: Monolith
Series: Creepy America, Episode 10. Price: Free! Words: 7,650. Language: English. Published: February 2, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
After finding a monolith lying on the side of highway, Zoey and Liam's exploration of it uncovers some disturbing implications about the universe.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part VIII: Top Deck Shenanigans
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part VIII. Price: Free! Words: 6,050. Language: English. Published: January 26, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » General
With a rampaging guest from the top deck strapped into a steam-powered exosuit of death, it's up to Solaire to fix the problem, once again.
Creepy America, Episode 9: On the Side of the Angels
Series: Creepy America, Episode 9. Price: Free! Words: 6,600. Language: English. Published: January 12, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
As the show grows in popularity, Zoey and Liam are targeted by a mysterious organization, with danger mounting every second they stay in the cross-hairs.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part VII: An Affair of Apples
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part VII. Price: Free! Words: 8,520. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
In this section of the adventure, a crew member is found murdered by poison and everyone's favorite suspect is the misanthropic newcomer, which means it's up to Solaire to clear his own name.
Creepy America Episode 8: The Red Eyed Man
Series: Creepy America, Episode 8. Price: Free! Words: 6,940. Language: English. Published: December 22, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In this episode, Liam and Zoey are contacted by a woman who claims that a red eyed man sits staring outside of her orphanage every night, and their investigation finds far more questions than it does answers.
The Adventures of Solaire, Collection 1
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Collection 1. You set the price! Words: 33,360. Language: English. Published: December 15, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
This book contains the first six parts of Solaire’s adventures collected into one book, beginning with our narrator’s introduction to Dinas and the Ravenheart family and ending with Solaire’s explosive escape from the Clockwork Temple.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part VI: The Clockwork Temple iii
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part VI. Price: Free! Words: 4,920. Language: English. Published: December 15, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
In the conclusion to the Clockwork Temple, Solaire and his allies face one final task: remove the gauntlet and return back to the ship. But like everything inside the Clockwork Temple, it’s not quite as easy as it seems...
Creepy America, Episode 7: Alone
Series: Creepy America, Episode 7. Price: Free! Words: 5,790. Language: English. Published: December 8, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In this episode, Liam wakes up to find that everyone in the world is gone. Well, everyone except one... thing.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part V: The Clockwork II
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part V. Price: Free! Words: 4,290. Language: English. Published: December 1, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
Now underneath the large structure of the Clockwork Temple, the party must fight their way through unwanted company and claw their way back up to the temple in this fifth part of the ongoing series.
Creepy America Episode 6: Myths & Legends
Series: Creepy America, Episode 6. Price: Free! Words: 4,960. Language: English. Published: November 25, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Occult, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In this episode, the two investigate the urban legend of the "Bunnyman" and find a surprising culprit at the center of it.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part IV: The Clockwork Temple I
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part IV. Price: Free! Words: 4,590. Language: English. Published: November 17, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories, Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures
In this chapter, Weiss presents his first task for the group: enter the structure known as “The Clockwork Temple” and retrieve a gauntlet hidden inside. But is the group prepared for the task? More importantly, can they avoid killing each other while inside?
Creepy America Collection 1
Series: Creepy America, Collection 1. You set the price! Words: 44,950. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
This collection contains the first five episodes of the “Creepy America” series, from the first harrowing experiences with “Worlds of Wonder” to the strange truth behind “Hotel California”, collected together into one book. Contains the following previously published stories: Worlds of Wonder The Things We Leave Behind Beyond Belief! Red Like Roses Hotel California
Creepy America Episode 5: Hotel California
Series: Creepy America, Episode 5. Price: Free! Words: 10,100. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In this episode, Liam finds a man named Stevie Sims who claims that the “Hotel California,” the one described by the hit song of the same name, is not only a real place, it’s a dangerous one. And he needs to find a way to escape it before it’s too late.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part III: Introductions All Around!
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part III. Price: Free! Words: 5,290. Language: English. Published: November 3, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories, Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures
Now that he's been captured and enslaved by Weiss, Solaire must ingratiate himself to the two that were also captured thanks to his meddling. But Solaire's people skills are more than a little lacking and things don't go smooth.
Creepy America, Episode 4: Red Like Roses
Series: Creepy America, Episode 4. Price: Free! Words: 8,040. Language: English. Published: October 27, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Occult, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In the fourth episode of the ongoing "Creepy America" horror series, Liam and Zoey read from a homemade spell book and suffer the consequences.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part II: Rewards and Consequences
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part II. Price: Free! Words: 5,610. Language: English. Published: October 20, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
In this adventure, Solaire boards Weiss' casino ship in search of the gambling mogul, but while on deck, his curiosity gets the better of him and things quickly spiral out of control.
Creepy America Episode 3: Beyond Belief!
Series: Creepy America, Episode 3. Price: Free! Words: 11,190. Language: English. Published: October 13, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
In this third installment of the ongoing horror series, Liam finds a video tape of a twisted TV show containing some disturbing implications about human nature.
The Adventures of Solaire, Part I: The Ashes of History
Series: The Adventures of Solaire, Part I. Price: Free! Words: 9,590. Language: English. Published: October 6, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Sea adventures, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
The first installment of “The Adventures of Solaire” pirate-filled fantasy adventure series, featuring the history of the Solaire’s family tree and the genesis of his quest to rescue his sister River.
Creepy America Episode 2: The Things We Leave Behind
Series: Creepy America, Episode 2. Price: Free! Words: 8,900. Language: English. Published: September 29, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
The second installment of the "Creepy America" horror short-story series, Liam relates the problems the show came across in its early days, from planning the show to the friction that results in cohabitation, as well as the subject matter of the second episode. Have you ever thought about what happens to the trash you throw away? You may not want to know the answer.
Creepy America Episode 1: Worlds of Wonder
Series: Creepy America, Episode 1. Price: Free! Words: 7,390. Language: English. Published: September 15, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction, Fiction » Anthologies » Horror
The first installment of the "Creepy America" horror short-story series, featuring Liam's introduction to the webshow and the first brush he and Zoey had with the paranormal: a painting that takes you somewhere truly strange.

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