A mild-mannered truck driver by day, I spend my nights writing mostly at an attempt to convince the last few shreds of sanity I have not to jump ship with the rest. When I'm not doing that, you can usually find me playing tabletop rpgs, raiding the "50 cents" section of bookstores, and generally committing similar acts to solidify my reputation as a "huge nerd." Otherwise, my time is spent caring for my loving and intelligent-deficit dog Slade and yelling at you for cutting me off in traffic.
Who are you?
My name's Noah Hoffmann. I'm a citizen of Cincinnati, Ohio who's currently anywhere but, driving a semi truck across America. I was initiated as a nerd during its dark age, when the comic book movie genre began and ended with the "Dark Knight" Trilogy, Doctor Who was that weird show from the '60s, and the only D&D around was 4th edition, so those roots run deep for me. Aside from that, I also have a love for books of any kind, paranormal phenomenon, music from any genre, and sleep. When I'm not writing, I'm usually playing board games, running tabletop RPGs for my totally real internet friends, or yelling at my dog for trying to eat my last remaining pillow.
Why in the world would you do something as insane as try to be a writer?
I've wanted to be a writer ever since second grade. Before then, I wanted to be an artist, but when my father (an actual artist) tried to teach me how to draw correctly, I realized I didn't actually care about how those drawings came out as much as I liked making up stories behind them. And hey, if things like "Twilight", "50 Shades of Gray", and "Great Expectations" can get published, I figured why can't I?
"There's an America you never knew existed..."
A series of horror short-stories, "Creepy America" recounts the webshow of the same name. Filmed, edited, and published by friends Zoey and Liam, the two traveled from state to state trying to find the truth behind the strange happenings, local hauntings, and urban legends all across the continental United State. Told years later from the perspective of Liam, these tales describe the events that transpired on the show, from the evolving friendship of the two co-hosts to the vast conspiracy uncovered piece by piece as more and more secrets are uncovered.
An ongoing series of fantasy adventures, “The Adventures of Solaire” tells the story of the dread pirate Captain Solaire Ravenheart and his tales all across Lorian, from the the steam-powered world of Dinas to the magical superpower of Archone. What follows is every deed of sabotage, back-stabbing, intimidation, piracy, demon-summoning, automaton-killing, government-toppling, crew wrangling, and general defiance he committed in his quest for his ultimate goal: to save his sister River.
This collection includes episodes six to ten, starting with the dangerous encounter with the Virginian Bunny Man and ending with the disturbing revelations from the Louisiana Monolith
Contains the following previously published stories:
Episode 6: Myths and Legends
Episode 7: Alone
Episode 8: The Red Eyed Man
Episode 9: On the Side of the Angels
Episode 10: Monolith
In this episode, Liam and Zoey are contacted by a woman who claims that a red eyed man sits staring outside of her orphanage every night, and their investigation finds far more questions than it does answers.
This book contains the first six parts of Solaire’s adventures collected into one book, beginning with our narrator’s introduction to Dinas and the Ravenheart family and ending with Solaire’s explosive escape from the Clockwork Temple.
In the conclusion to the Clockwork Temple, Solaire and his allies face one final task: remove the gauntlet and return back to the ship. But like everything inside the Clockwork Temple, it’s not quite as easy as it seems...
In this chapter, Weiss presents his first task for the group: enter the structure known as “The Clockwork Temple” and retrieve a gauntlet hidden inside. But is the group prepared for the task? More importantly, can they avoid killing each other while inside?
This collection contains the first five episodes of the “Creepy America” series, from the first harrowing experiences with “Worlds of Wonder” to the strange truth behind “Hotel California”, collected together into one book.
Contains the following previously published stories:
Worlds of Wonder
The Things We Leave Behind
Red Like Roses
In this episode, Liam finds a man named Stevie Sims who claims that the “Hotel California,” the one described by the hit song of the same name, is not only a real place, it’s a dangerous one. And he needs to find a way to escape it before it’s too late.
Now that he's been captured and enslaved by Weiss, Solaire must ingratiate himself to the two that were also captured thanks to his meddling. But Solaire's people skills are more than a little lacking and things don't go smooth.
The second installment of the "Creepy America" horror short-story series, Liam relates the problems the show came across in its early days, from planning the show to the friction that results in cohabitation, as well as the subject matter of the second episode. Have you ever thought about what happens to the trash you throw away? You may not want to know the answer.
The first installment of the "Creepy America" horror short-story series, featuring Liam's introduction to the webshow and the first brush he and Zoey had with the paranormal: a painting that takes you somewhere truly strange.