Daniel Hargrove

Publisher info

As poets go, Daniel Hargrove is pretty OK. His poems range from the sappy and sentimental to the arcane and dangerous to the dark and laughable. And when I say laughable, I mean in the sense that you may rofl, lmao, or even, in extreme circumstances, LOL!
Writing poetry is hard work, and Dan has given up entirely in favor of smoking cigars and drinking coffee. For this reason, he is taking it upon himself to sort through the endless and tiresome formatting rules, changes, and outright demands that his cohorts in the publishing industry have seen fit to belabor us with, and dumb down all his books to fit the bill.
As a consolation prize, he is offering a crisp clean $20 dollar bill to anyone who 1) Reads all his books all the way through, and proves it in an email by naming a word in the second poem in each book and counting the words up to that word, giving a number as reference, also 2) Supplying an address or P.O. box where I can mail the money, and 3) Leaving a review that is at least 50 words in length for at least one book. Sincerely hope you enjoy your sentence!

Where to find Daniel Hargrove online

Facebook: Facebook profile

Series

Oofamism
These crusty old works come from a time in my life when my sense of humor was at it's bluest blue! Please read them with a liberal helping of a grain of salt!
Bramble
Price: Free!
Deepens
Price: Free!
Love/Oil
Price: Free!
No Tome
Price: Free!
Time For a Friend
Make time for your friends, because there may be a time when you need THEM!
A Rose
Price: Free!
Hun
Price: Free!
Wind
Price: Free!
The Juvee
Price: Free!
My Sexy Friend
Price: Free!
Love
This series is a personal journey I took, not knowing that one day I would lose everything, in the name of love. It mattered to me.
In Suspense
Three short works of poetry, two of them in the suspense genre, the third in the true life stories genre, altogether the story of Jimmy, an unrepentant country boy. Not for the faint of heart!
Skim
Price: Free!
The Hook
Price: Free!
Unwashed Stars
Price: Free!
Toad
Hiss bo ees abo sumting bud Im na sur wat
Glasses
Price: Free!
Laugh Lines
Price: Free!
Stairs of Sand
Price: Free!
Amanda's Smile
This series shows Amanda in a mirror showing her stuff as an independent and liberated Christian with big tatas! The series starts in her teenage years, and she fantasizes about being married to Thomas Jeffers, a founding mammer-jammer! Then, it continues with "Choosy Ice" as she shops for ice cream without panties for Jimmy, her soon to be divorced husband. On she goes, fantasizing her way through life, until...

Books

As I Tried: Memoirs
Price: Free! Words: 1,310. Language: English. Published: May 3, 2021 . Categories: Nonfiction » Biography » Artists, architects, & photographers, Poetry » American poetry » General
In this memoirs lie my secrets of mystery, intrigue and adventure, in just a few short pages. I offer these notes at your own risk. Please be aware that the writer has made many regrettable mistakes in life, and offers no exemption to the naive, uninformed, or ignorant.
Deepens
Series: Oofamism. Price: Free! Words: 600. Language: English. Published: December 24, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
What is the difference between a hundred and a thousand? Not much, but looking closely we can see something made of more than one! Hope you enjoy this ebook, poems from the early '00's! (As were my last three ebooks.)
No Tome
Series: Oofamism. Price: Free! Words: 550. Language: English. Published: December 21, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
There are a few things in the world that are not very big, that help in big ways! One of them is cherry pits, another would be quartz-laden rocks If you have the time, and are interested, look into that! You will never regret it. They may be here longer than we are!
Love/Oil
Series: Oofamism. Price: Free! Words: 630. Language: English. Published: December 11, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
What does lemon.pudding and lemonade have in common? The answer is moments away!
Bramble
Series: Oofamism. Price: Free! Words: 470. Language: English. Published: November 29, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Spiritual
(5.00 from 1 review)
In the byways and tangents of a long journey to love, I wrote these hoping someone would see my point. Maybe she never will, but along the way I've found many reasons why it only matters to the journey, and not to the telling. Five poems, here for your meditation and lifting. Thanks for reading, I hope everyone has a merry Solstice holiday season!
Russian Police Hoe
Price: Free! Words: 490. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica
Russian police women are the sluttiest policewomen on the planet! They hitch up their leather skirts and show their silky pussies to just any man! Grab one for a wild ride through the magnificent Russian Alps on a snowy horse!
The Juvee
Series: Time For a Friend, Book 4. Price: Free! Words: 550. Language: English. Published: September 21, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
This short work is an expression of my fondness for prudent and indelicate women, with a nod to their youth (and also Anthony Burgess). Time makes wonders out of us all, mainly to make us wonder wth?!!??
My Sexy Friend
Series: Time For a Friend, Book 5 ยท Love. Price: Free! Words: 580. Language: English. Published: August 25, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Poetry » Themes & motifs » Love
This short work is a few musings on how eros becomes more patient and how lust can turn to kindness. Please enjoy this offering, given for your fantasy and gratification!
Wind
Series: Time For a Friend, Book 3. Price: Free! Words: 360. Language: English. Published: June 24, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Themes & motifs » General
A few short poems with the idea in mind that if it hurts that bad, there must be something funny about it! Read slow, because it's only five poems! And before you know it, you'll have read about the things that preoccupy me most!
A Rose
Series: Time For a Friend, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 480. Language: English. Published: May 31, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Spiritual
A shout out to the ladies! May your inner fire burn bright and shoot away the night!
Hun
Series: Time For a Friend, Book 2. Price: Free! Words: 640. Language: English. Published: April 8, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Fiction » Erotica » Literary Erotica
I mostly forget what this book is about, but it was important to me, sometime, about a week ago. Then, I decided not to publish it, and I'm still not sure, but someone, somewhere is making me, so regardless of any feeling about the stupid book I would have, if I read it, here it is, for your perusement, enjoyment, or however you get your jollies!
Angels
Price: Free! Words: 540. Language: English. Published: March 30, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Romance, Fiction » Erotica » Menage/Multiple Partners
Angels do exist (clothing optional) both in heaven and on earth! Earth could be a heaven if we could get the angels to cooperate. In heaven they wear white sheer gauzy robes just above the knee, but on earth they go to Sunday school!
Cherries Jubilee!
Price: Free! Words: 610. Language: Simple English. Published: March 19, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » Literary Erotica
The trick is to set the cherries on fire with 151 proof rum! But, lookout, it could set fire to women, children, guys, and rabbits with nothing on but their big white ears! Naked rabbits, and by that I mean lusting, loco bunnies, every whisker, every fiber alert for gallo!
Coupon (Second Edition w. forward)
Price: Free! Words: 430. Language: English. Published: February 20, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » Spiritual, Poetry » Themes & motifs » Love
Herein contained might be a coupon for coffee creamer! It also might be a free instant win game! You might win eternal life!
The Slave State
Price: Free! Words: 750. Language: English. Published: February 19, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » Native American, Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica
Herein, I get political again, powdered wigism becomes tantamount to possibility, and the new ideas about love are explored with cutaways showing the seed. There is culpability, but y'know, sometimes..well, at least I get pissed off about it! But, no need to lock me up, I promise, because writers will be writers and poets will be poets!
The Storage Device
Price: Free! Words: 960. Language: English. Published: February 18, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » Spiritual, Fiction » Erotica » General
The sexiest pair of tits (poetry) you ever laid eyes on! If it's not the perky pink nipples, it's the squeezable, nice melons!
Celebrity Cream
Price: Free! Words: 500. Language: English. Published: February 2, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Historical/America, Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica
Bamela is an up and cumming actress who is known for her many contributions to television! Her ape is a layabout and a malingerer who sits around the house drinking beer. He gets an idea in his head, and when apes get ideas in their head, look out!
Her Gift
Price: Free! Words: 710. Language: English. Published: February 2, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary, Fiction » Erotica » General
People say things about Christians that just aren't true! We are as sexy, even sexier, than most people! We are experts on subjects like fellatio and cunnilingus, though Godless people think we are prudes! Cum to the land of milk and honey!
Built Like an Hourglass
Price: Free! Words: 560. Language: English. Published: January 25, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Romance, Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
(1.00 from 1 review)
Patricia is wealthy woman with quite a figure! She gets up to her hijinx, a seductress like no other! She keeps her figure by watching her carbohydrates and sugar!
A Hoe in Court
Price: Free! Words: 550. Language: English. Published: January 24, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » General
Angela Baster is a paralegal secretary who'll do anything for her clients! She is well-paid, well-stacked, and horny 24 hours a day! When the time comes to get her client off, she is ready and willing!
Playing FoXXXy!
Price: Free! Words: 740. Language: English. Published: January 22, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » Romance
Sultra is a topless waitress at a small strip joint in downtown San Francisco! One night, a stranger comes into her club, and she shows him about the good times!
Free for All!
Price: Free! Words: 720. Language: English. Published: January 21, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary, Fiction » Erotica » Lesbian Erotica
Billie and Lacy are in love, and love to grope each other in front of a mirror! One night they are so into each other's bodies, they forget to close the curtains!
Jill Gets Her Way
Price: Free! Words: 840. Language: English. Published: January 19, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Romance, Fiction » Erotica » Literary Erotica
Jill Perestra is 18, and a student at University of Florida! She studies biology and science! She is learning the ropes from each and every young hunk at the college. What she doesn't get from class, she learns from experience!
On a Diet (Creamy Letters II)
Price: Free! Words: 2,140. Language: English. Published: January 9, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Erotica » General, Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
This fantastic dame goes all out to please in this collection of creamy contributions from Olivia deWatts, under my byline (for research purposes). If you'd care to make a contribution for her, she is more than willing and able to comply! *NEW EDITION*
How to Make $25 (for whatever, you chump!)
Price: Free! Words: 280. Language: English. Published: November 13, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Nonfiction » Home & Garden » Power tools
This book is a series of tips for 20-somethings with the intention of helping. I realize it's difficult to make much money sitting around on your butt smoking weed, having been through that myself years ago. A little hope! (And besides, it's poetry.)
Homemade Biscuits
Price: Free! Words: 380. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Nonfiction » Cooking, Food, Wine, Spirits » Baking
The political importance of homemade biscuits cannot be underestimated! Contained herein is the recipe for easy biscuits, and a few poetic words to do along with the melted butter and honey!
A Nice Place to Get Sweet and Sour Chicken
Price: Free! Words: 110. Language: English. Published: October 22, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
There's a place up the street I went to today that I liked, because of one sweet dish!
Wishes
Price: Free! Words: 320. Language: English. Published: October 9, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Themes & motifs » Love, Poetry » American poetry » General
You never know when the right person will come along, it's a matter of compatibilty, and not appearances.
Watergate Comics
Price: Free! Words: 600. Language: English. Published: October 9, 2019 . Categories: Essay » Political, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
For those of you not in with the times, this book is an attempt to explain the circumstances of Watergate, and there are some crucial issues involved that most people under the age of 30 do not know! Explains the "little tape"! Enjoy!
Rob's Glasses
Price: Free! Words: 600. Language: English. Published: August 11, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
Rob's Glasses is about a typical guy having a good time in the way he generally might. Whereas some people might prefer wine with the wifey, or a day spent in front of a color television, this gentleman likes it otherwise.
The Clunky Old Book
Price: Free! Words: 610. Language: English. Published: August 10, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
Poetry is a lock won't, but a can, if 'cause, and sometimes a little wonky. Sometimes it falls on it's face, but this book...well...
Through the Branches
Price: Free! Words: 970. Language: English. Published: August 5, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Themes & motifs » Nature, Poetry » American poetry » General
One evening, as the sun was setting, I heard a flutter of wings against the light breeze...
Hmmm...
Price: Free! Words: 2,340. Language: English. Published: July 21, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » Environmental politics
Kick back with a cup of hot coffee and read this new book by Dan Hargrove! Known as a stick in the mud, Dan, in fact, occasionally drinks his coffee with cream and sugar, like this morning! Care for a cup? I'll put some on!
Unwashed Stars
Series: In Suspense. Price: Free! Words: 2,430. Language: English. Published: July 20, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Fiction » Horror » General
Jimmy quickly gets tired of country life, and decides to take his chances and move to the city with enough money to rent a small apartment, but then... (*warning* Not for careless readers.)
The Hook
Series: In Suspense. Price: Free! Words: 1,600. Language: English. Published: July 18, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Fiction » Horror » General
Jimmy just can't seem to wean himself from his habit. A year passes, and he still steals a pinch here, a pinch there of his auntie's Prince Albert. One morning he wakes up early, wishing he had a cigarette. He sneaks out the door of the small house...
Skim
Series: In Suspense. Price: Free! Words: 830. Language: English. Published: June 28, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Poetry » American poetry » African American
In terse words, Jimmy told his father he could not find his wagon. Along the way somewhere, dark forces had made him forget. How can you run when you forget?
How to Accept Cunnilingus
Price: Free! Words: 630. Language: English. Published: June 25, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Spiritual, Poetry » American poetry » General
In a few words, acceptance in this case means exactly what you think it means. I mean, he might, and he might not, enjoyment is the key!
Funny Idea
Price: Free! Words: 1,000. Language: English. Published: June 22, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General
This is a retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac seen from a a few fanciful angles, digestible as baby food as long as it's pureed peaches (always a favorite!).
The 'Other' Woman
Price: Free! Words: 750. Language: English. Published: June 19, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General
This book is dedicated to all the deliciously plump women out there! Don't let them tell you you're not all woman! If they don't want you, it's their loss! Plump women are beautiful, too, and don't let the bully-boys tell you any differently!
?
Price: Free! Words: 100. Language: English. Published: June 16, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Poetry » American poetry » General
It's not always about whose side of the story you believe. Sometimes it's about not believing what you would like to believe.
We Want You!!
Price: Free! Words: 400. Language: English. Published: June 5, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Middle Eastern poetry
This is a few adolescent notions I had about the Middle East, and Iran in particular. *sigh* It's lonely being king!
About the Cooties Thing...
Price: Free! Words: 100. Language: English. Published: May 27, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General
In 2nd grade, I didn't understand the cooties game, still don't. After it started going around, I spent months avoiding the word. After explaining my situation to my teachers (Be strong!), I finally approached the girl of my affections, and explained how I felt about it to her. But because I used "the word", she believed I was one of them! I have spent
Catch!
Price: Free! Words: 130. Language: English. Published: May 27, 2019 . Categories: Nonfiction » Inspiration » Personal inspiration, Nonfiction » Inspiration » Spiritual inspiration
Dedicated to my once friend, Bill Chapman, who was a homeless marine corp. veteran who died, fighting the good fight.
The Honeycomb Hideout (an Addendum)
Series: Contemporary Environmentalism. Price: Free! Words: 80. Language: English. Published: May 25, 2019 . Categories: Nonfiction » History » American, Poetry » American poetry » General
A simple addendum about certain criminals, too many to mention.
Gov and Infernal Trysts (An Examination of Complicities)
Series: Contemporary Environmentalism. Price: Free! Words: 1,570. Language: English. Published: May 25, 2019 . Categories: Nonfiction » History » American, Poetry » American poetry » General
The rest of the story. Reader, beware! This book may send goosebumps down your arms and make your toes tingle! But, seriously...
Drifting Off
Series: Love. Price: Free! Words: 680. Language: English. Published: May 23, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General, Poetry » Themes & motifs » General
*yawn* Sleepytime book. Time for a cup of herbal tea, mellow to some relaxing music.
The Lacy Willow
Series: Love. Price: Free! Words: 740. Language: English. Published: May 17, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General
In this five page book I stumble through words as if could dip a shoelace tip in ink and write love poems with it.
The "Exxon" Handbook
Series: Contemporary Environmentalism. Price: Free! Words: 1,650. Language: English. Published: May 15, 2019 . Categories: Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » Environmental politics, Poetry » American poetry » General
This book deals in the profane and often sinister world of corporate shenanigans. Daniel Hargrove faces off "Exxon", known culprits in the Exxon-Valdez oil spill, which had a huge impact on biodiversity in the Pacific Northwest.
Just a Word Before I Go
Series: Contemporary Environmentalism. Price: Free! Words: 60. Language: English. Published: May 9, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
This is by no means a suicide note, despite the title. (A nod, here, to CSN.) This is part of my ongoing series of my homicide at the hands of "The Exxon.Corporation". The time element varies, my death will probably happen sometime this year.
If Election Was Political (Congress shall make no law, regarding the freedom of speech...)
Series: Contemporary Environmentalism. Price: Free! Words: 310. Language: English. Published: May 8, 2019 . Categories: Poetry » Spiritual, Poetry » American poetry » General
If only I had three...
View more books by this author...

Daniel Hargrove's tag cloud

1970s    60s    abraham    activism    addiction    alarm clock    alcohol    alcoholism    alleycat    amstel    angels    anorexia    arrow    art    baseball    baywatch    bbw    bd    bdsm    beauty    bff    bifocals    bikinis    bimbo    blonds    blowjobs    bongos    box    brer    bud    buddha    burgess    carbs    cardinal    chances    chimps    christian    christian guys    cigarettes    cocaine    coffee    condoms    consipiracy    conspiracy    corporate spying    countries    court    cowboy    crude    cruelty    cunnilingus    cyrano de bergerac    dandelion    dating    democrats    devil    devotion    dieting    dildo    dirty books    dirty erotica    discipline    dotdotdot    drama    dreams    drop biscuits    easy biscuits    easy recipes    ecology    engines    enterprise    environment    environmentalism    erotic poetry    eroticism    espionage    etc    etcetera    exxon    fantasy    fat acceptance    fat shaming    fire    first aid    fishing    fixation    flower shop    fossils    friendship poetry    fruit trees    furries    game addiction    grapefruit    greed    hardball    hippies    homelessness    homicide    honey    honeybees    honeydew    horses    inflation    intoxication    iran    jello    jesus    jill    junkyards    justice    king    kissinger    kittens    lace    lemonade    lesbians    lies    lingerie    lipstick    love    love poems    lovelies    masturbating    masturbation    melons    menage    moderate politics    molestation    momentum    moonies    morning    murder    music history    mutual masturbation    mysogeny    mystery    nicotine    nightstick    nixon    nuns    ocean    oil    oils    open relationship    orgies    pamela    paralegal    peeping    persecution    petroleum    play    poetry    politics    pp    practicality    prayer    primary    princesses    prison    probation    professional    progressive    prostitution    puppies    race    resistance    reverence    rhino    robots    romance    romantic poetry    romeo and juliet    roses    russian sluts    sales    salvation    sanctions    scary    secretary    secrets    self driving    seniors    setter    sex    sex tape    shakespeare    shame    sharing    sisters    sixties    sleep    smoking    snails    snips    solenoids    solvents    sorbet    spanking    spirit    sports    strawberries    stress    strippers    surveillance    sweet and sour chicken    sweets    syndicated romance    tatting    teens    television    tender    texas    theft    time    titties    tome    tools    truck    trump    trumpanzees    truth    unfiltered    uplift    vegetarian    vegetarian recipes    watergate    wheelbarrow    whine    wildflowers    wrens   

Smashwords book reviews by Daniel Hargrove

  • The Darkest Hopes on Aug. 24, 2017

    Clever, complicated and philosphical, Sujay takes us on a ride through his personal experiences with love and life. A good read, challenging and abstract.