Pat Connid


Pat Connid has spent the better part of his life avoiding real work.

Now a top-selling humor author (with an inability to simply choose one genre and go with it), the former stage performer, radio personality, and balloon-animal artiste spends his days on a river shantyboat just off the Florida keys in international waters waiting for his visa paperwork to be approved.

In his spare time, Pat Connid likes to write autobiographies in the third person.

Where to find Pat Connid online


The Mentor
Price: Free! Words: 118,090. Language: English. Published: September 2, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
"No question, THE MENTOR is a powerful thriller -- but it's also funny."- Brad Meltzer, New York Times bestselling author Dexter dies in six minutes if he doesn't escape the cargo van at the bottom of a quarry lake. He knows this because the stranger who busted into his apartment said so. This is NOT the best time he's ever had in a van. What he doesn't know is that this is only the beginning.
50 Shades of Gray Matter
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 53,080. Language: English. Published: July 19, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody, Fiction » Science fiction » Adventure
Zombies everywhere, Hal is suddenly bitten by his now-infected girlfriend. So much for love. Rather than turn undead, he’s going to end it: overdosing on pain meds. Instead he gets a hold of ED medication (common mistake, surely). Turns out, diverting that wee bit of blood prevents zombification, imbuing Hal with zombie-like abilities. Can he & his new companions now prevent the zombie take over?

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