I'm giving the story 5 stars as it feels so real but find a new cover. For a movie buff like me I can see it's a clear rip off of the Final Destination movie poster and frankly it doesn't suit the story. You can do better on that score, that's all I'll say about it.
God this story was intense, loved the play between the two girls and Tony the pizza guy, the two girls getting dirty with each other left me soaking wet ;) Well described and written, definitely a bedtime story ;)
I'm giving this five stars for his quirky sense of humor, uniqueness and because it was a great read. Maybe I'm just tired when I read it or a bit dense but the ending was a bit lost on me. Still great though.
I have to agree with Sophie here it does start rather slowly and could do with some editing pacing wise but I think the idea is a good one and with a bit of work could be something great in the near future.