Robert E Vonne


Robert E Vonne was born in Ottawa, Canada in 1965. He dabbles in all sorts of writing, ranging from satire to essays to poetry.

He carries into his work a youthful idealism that is salted and peppered with sometimes painful experience. His mission is simple: To contribute as best he can to the times he lives in - "To make a little mark," as he puts it.

A private man, this author looks forward to the day when he publishes his magnum opus - a novel that says it all about what he thinks. In the meantime, he intends to keep publishing shorter works with considerable frequency.

Smashwords Interview

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
I think it was a first grade report on a field trip we went on. All I remember is concluding that "we had a ball." My teacher thought that was pretty funny.
What is your writing process?
I'm a person who can go to extremes, but when it comes time to write, I practice moderation: I eat well, keep the caffeine down to two cups, get a good rest, and tear myself away from the keyboard to take breaks. My product can get daft if I don't do what it takes to stay in a lucid state of mind.
Apart from those considerations, I meditate before I start writing, and try to focus exclusively on the job.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Robert E Vonne online

Twitter: @robinrobin55


Farting With All His Might: The Endangered Status Of The Hetero Male
Price: Free! Words: 1,380. Language: English. Published: October 20, 2013. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire » Form / essays, Nonfiction » Sex & Relationships  » Men's sexuality
(5.00 from 1 review)
He who makes of himself a sight/By farting with all of his might/Awakens to a new created plight/That all the women have taken flight. Can men catch up, grow up, stand upright and drop the clubs once and for all? Why is it, ominously, that for so many, the image of the ideal male derives from 19th century theories of cavemen? Can't a man be a real, authentic human being? In free society- yes!
One Man-Eating Muskadore Gone To Wherever They Go
Series: The Man-Eating Muskadores, Book 2. Price: Free! Words: 1,670. Language: Canadian English. Published: January 21, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Adventure » Action
Sequel to "The Man-Eating Muskadores Of The Ottawa Valley". I thought my last piece yesterday would be my last. I never intended to get autobiographical with my writing, but here's my account of how I finally became a man....
The Man-Eating Muskadores Of The Ottawa Valley
Series: The Man-Eating Muskadores, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 1,310. Language: Canadian English. Published: January 20, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Adventure » Action
It's no sissy grizzly bear. It's no wimpy sasquatch, either. It just might be the worst opponent a person could have in battle...and I've seen one with my own eyes. My father left a mixed legacy for me, and now I have to pick up the pieces. For the first time in my life, though, I'm beginning to feel like a mature man. Definitely not a story for the faint of heart!

Robert E Vonne's favorite authors on Smashwords

Laura Haglund
Latest book: Dead Sentences.
Published May 14, 2013. (4.00 from 1 review)
S.E. Frase
Latest book: An Accurate Boquet.
Published April 30, 2014. (5.00 from 1 review)

Smashwords book reviews by Robert E Vonne

  • Dead Sentences on May 15, 2013

    Should be required reading for all of us upstart authors.
  • Words about Jogging on Oct. 12, 2013

    There are some good laughs in here, and a few good points, too. A quick, enjoyable read for anyone who questions the actual value of physical fitness.
  • Free Gifts on Oct. 29, 2013

    Lots of good laughs packed in here - I loved it.
  • The Gish Chronicles - Volume 1: Smarmy Glamazons and the People Who Love Them on May 07, 2014

    Seems like the ultimate tryout for social acceptance in New York City. Well-written, polished, to-the-point, and intriguing. The sequel should be good!
  • Dark poetry on May 07, 2014

    Were I politically correct and snobbish, I would trash this slender volume - but I loved it for its honesty and truthfulness. Good poetry for free is always a bargain - thanks.
  • An Accurate Boquet on May 07, 2014

    What a beautiful piece! To find hope and revealed truth in the wake of death is inspiring. I would recommend this most strongly - it's a story as dazzling as autumn foliage on a sunny day.
  • Let The Night Pass on May 16, 2014

    These poems go in depth and detail into the sorrows that can wreck a life - Let The Night Pass is the perfect title for a book that inspires the reader to look up when the signs in life are pointing down. An excellent read.
  • The Pollen Bath: a short story on May 21, 2014

    Well-drawn characters invited me to read on until the bitterness of the end. Who can't identify with the narrator - or the wife? I liked this story very much.
  • Hot Stuff on May 21, 2014

    Hot Stuff is a very powerful story that gripped me with its intensity. I really enjoyed how it is narrated, right up to the very dramatic ending.
  • Free Moments on May 21, 2014

    One moment after another, captured in beautiful sincerity. This was a great read.
  • Dancing with Absinth on May 21, 2014

    A haunting story, very well told. I loved the building suspense throughout, and the ending was both shocking and apt.
  • The Last Breath on Jan. 11, 2015

    This is a fantastic poem. The imagery and passion are artfully rendered, and the story is beautiful in its tragedy.