Robert E Vonne


Robert E Vonne was born in Ottawa, Canada in 1965. He dabbles in all sorts of writing, ranging from satire to essays to poetry.

He carries into his work a youthful idealism that is salted and peppered with sometimes painful experience. His mission is simple: To contribute as best he can to the times he lives in - "To make a little mark," as he puts it.

A private man, this author looks forward to the day when he publishes his magnum opus - a novel that says it all about what he thinks. In the meantime, he intends to keep publishing shorter works with considerable frequency.

Smashwords Interview

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
I think it was a first grade report on a field trip we went on. All I remember is concluding that "we had a ball." My teacher thought that was pretty funny.
What is your writing process?
I'm a person who can go to extremes, but when it comes time to write, I practice moderation: I eat well, keep the caffeine down to two cups, get a good rest, and tear myself away from the keyboard to take breaks. My product can get daft if I don't do what it takes to stay in a lucid state of mind.
Apart from those considerations, I meditate before I start writing, and try to focus exclusively on the job.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Robert E Vonne online

Twitter: @robinrobin55


I'm Not Different...I'm A Masochist
Price: Free! Words: 2,040. Language: Canadian English. Published: December 20, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary, Fiction » Anthologies » Flash fiction
Why does it hurt so much to be me? What is wrong with just being who I am without harming others? The price of being different than the other bees in the hive is that they'll try to sting you to death. Still, I'd rather be an authentic me than be a mindless, soulless cipher, always being and doing as I'm told. It takes a little masochism, though. Mature content. ~1720 words.
Marriage Rites By A Spring
Series: The Shapeshifters, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 8,080. Language: English. Published: May 19, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Historical, Fiction » Historical » Ancient
Meet the strong men and women of The Shapeshifters Series. Book 1 reveals the plans of Epona and Dona to tutor their son, enigmatically named Time, in the ways of psychological mastery, in order for him to found and create an idyllic farming civilization in ancient Ireland. Things go drastically wrong with the first plan, so Time must then win, in ritualistic combat, the hand of a stunning maiden.
Why a Hermit?
Price: Free! Words: 780. Language: Canadian English. Published: May 16, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Fiction » Poetry » Canadian Poetry
These 2 poems attempt to make brief but pointed arguments in favor of radical rethinks on what national dreams are in the democratic-capitalist world. There's not a suggestion in here how to solve the problems of insane cruelty so rampant in our societies - that is left to the readers' imaginations. "Why a Hermit?' and "The Truth-Tellers" illustrate the effects of the toppling of our Dreams.
I am a Sea of Drops
Price: Free! Words: 520. Language: Canadian English. Published: May 11, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Fiction » Inspirational
We are nothing without the waters of existence, to the extent that it can be said that our beings themselves are made of water. There is no symbol more universal and powerful than the life-giving force of water, and these two poems inspire the reader to contemplate our existence in this world in ways that are both novel and familiar. No adult-only content.
Price: Free! Words: 3,640. Language: Canadian English. Published: April 29, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Inspirational, Fiction » Coming of age
What makes a person's opinions and insights valuable to society? It might not be the vision from the top, such as from presidents and billionaires. The outsider sees where the herd is going, and what beliefs are leading it there. In general, there are no outsiders as potentially valuable as the disabled; in these two stories, the inspiring visions of two young mentally ill people are displayed.
Deep Within The Hero
Price: Free! Words: 1,050. Language: Canadian English. Published: April 12, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Poetry » Contemporary Poetry, Fiction » Inspirational
With prose and poetry, I explore the inner and outer realms of existence, and contemplate the chasm that lies between. Death, objectively, is seen as the end of living; but death, seen in personal terms, is the end of one life and the beginning of another. Can we find meaning under the guidance of others, or is the hero always a loner who makes the great discoveries with sheer will? Look, and see.
Seeds of Hope
Price: Free! Words: 2,330. Language: Canadian English. Published: April 10, 2014. Categories: Essay » Political, Nonfiction » Inspiration » Personal inspiration
This four-part essay plunges into the greatest dilemma of our age: Humanity's very survival. It's my contention that not only do we have the ability to survive and thrive on our planet, we also have the will and adaptability. I see four main areas of improvement and reason for hope that have sprung up in my lifetime, and I believe that they will bear the ultimate fruit for us: Long-term survival.
Farting With All His Might: The Endangered Status Of The Hetero Male
Price: Free! Words: 1,380. Language: English. Published: October 20, 2013. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor and satire, Nonfiction » Sex and Relationships  » Men's sexuality
He who makes of himself a sight/By farting with all of his might/Awakens to a new created plight/That all the women have taken flight. Can men catch up, grow up, stand upright and drop the clubs once and for all? Why is it, ominously, that for so many, the image of the ideal male derives from 19th century theories of cavemen? Can't a man be a real, authentic human being? In free society- yes!
Crazy Like A Genie
Price: Free! Words: 32,190. Language: English. Published: June 28, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Literary collections » Canadian
This collection of Robert E Vonne's ten best works thus far illustrates that he is a true opposite of Kurt Vonnegut. He is rightly compared to Vonnegut the writer for employing black humor and satire frequently to make his points. What then makes him opposite to Vonnegut is his essential, abiding faith in humanity's future. "The stars are the limit for humanity," he insists. Adult reading.
A New World Awaits After The Storm Clouds Pass
Price: Free! Words: 3,010. Language: Canadian English. Published: January 27, 2013. Categories: Nonfiction » Inspiration » Personal inspiration, Nonfiction » Philosophy » Biography
Is a philanthropic outlook part of maturity? It certainly is the least risky of all ways of seeing ourselves and others. There is no doubt that maturation is a process that doesn't happen overnight, yet there are times when we turn in our upwards growth to breathtaking sights. I have recently pronounced myself "mature" for the umpteenth time in my life, and I can see further now than ever before.
One Man-Eating Muskadore Gone To Wherever They Go
Series: The Man-Eating Muskadores, Book 2. Price: Free! Words: 1,670. Language: Canadian English. Published: January 21, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Adventure » Action
Sequel to "The Man-Eating Muskadores Of The Ottawa Valley". I thought my last piece yesterday would be my last. I never intended to get autobiographical with my writing, but here's my account of how I finally became a man....
The Man-Eating Muskadores Of The Ottawa Valley
Series: The Man-Eating Muskadores, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 1,310. Language: Canadian English. Published: January 20, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Adventure » Action
It's no sissy grizzly bear. It's no wimpy sasquatch, either. It just might be the worst opponent a person could have in battle...and I've seen one with my own eyes. My father left a mixed legacy for me, and now I have to pick up the pieces. For the first time in my life, though, I'm beginning to feel like a mature man. Definitely not a story for the faint of heart!
Fascism Now! Or Egalitarianism Forever
Price: Free! Words: 12,570. Language: Canadian English. Published: January 13, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Who will win the struggle for control of the debt-addled democracies when the bailout funds are gone? Will it be the Fascists - or their arch-enemies, the Socialists? Or, maybe, those sneaky egalitarians will find a way to hold on to their democracies. Big Brother Limericks, the Authentic Bible, and generous piles of sleaze are what the Fascists plan to foist on humanity. Will they ever learn?

Robert E Vonne's tag cloud

Robert E Vonne's favorite authors on Smashwords

A.K. Gallagher
Latest book: GODLESS II Sneak Peek - The Shadow Stirs. Published November 11, 2015.
S.E. Frase
Latest book: An Accurate Boquet. Published April 30, 2014. (5.00 from 1 review)

Smashwords book reviews by Robert E Vonne

  • In a Dream on May 13, 2013

    By turns lucid, challenging, and brave.
  • Dead Sentences on May 15, 2013

    Should be required reading for all of us upstart authors.
  • Words about Jogging on Oct. 12, 2013

    There are some good laughs in here, and a few good points, too. A quick, enjoyable read for anyone who questions the actual value of physical fitness.
  • Free Gifts on Oct. 29, 2013

    Lots of good laughs packed in here - I loved it.
  • The Gish Chronicles - Volume 1: Smarmy Glamazons and the People Who Love Them on May 07, 2014

    Seems like the ultimate tryout for social acceptance in New York City. Well-written, polished, to-the-point, and intriguing. The sequel should be good!
  • Dark poetry on May 07, 2014

    Were I politically correct and snobbish, I would trash this slender volume - but I loved it for its honesty and truthfulness. Good poetry for free is always a bargain - thanks.
  • An Accurate Boquet on May 07, 2014

    What a beautiful piece! To find hope and revealed truth in the wake of death is inspiring. I would recommend this most strongly - it's a story as dazzling as autumn foliage on a sunny day.
  • The Concert on May 16, 2014

    Poignant and well-told. Less than a lifetime later, Americans (and others) find themselves on the edge of the precipice. Love of freedom is patriotic - support for oppression is not - a beautiful way of telling the story.
  • New Breed on May 17, 2014

    A good poem, though I dispute the premise that freedom is the cause of the problems - rather, a lack of meaningful freedoms, and the substitution of corruption and trivial freedoms for those meaningful freedoms is the source of the anger. Still, a very good poem in its execution.
  • The Pollen Bath: a short story on May 21, 2014

    Well-drawn characters invited me to read on until the bitterness of the end. Who can't identify with the narrator - or the wife? I liked this story very much.
  • Hot Stuff on May 21, 2014

    Hot Stuff is a very powerful story that gripped me with its intensity. I really enjoyed how it is narrated, right up to the very dramatic ending.
  • Free Moments on May 21, 2014

    One moment after another, captured in beautiful sincerity. This was a great read.
  • Dancing with Absinth on May 21, 2014

    A haunting story, very well told. I loved the building suspense throughout, and the ending was both shocking and apt.
  • Kennie Vs Everybody on Dec. 21, 2014

    The pain of being an actual person, not an image or a fantasy, brings hope for those who hate Kennie and the rest of us. Most of us suffer in silence - Kennie lets it all hang out.
  • The Last Breath on Jan. 11, 2015

    This is a fantastic poem. The imagery and passion are artfully rendered, and the story is beautiful in its tragedy.